The Nest Egg

Jacob never knew he was sitting on a nest egg. Years bouncing around trying to make ends meet while climbing the corporate ladder. Finally making a decent salary and yet he still couldn't find that sweet spot for financial stability. His father always told him to create and protect a nest egg. No matter how much money you made, you had to have that damned nest egg. But every time he started to build it; something came up and ate every last bit. The new roof. Medical bills. A new car. Now this pregnancy and remodeling the house for a "proper nursery." And all the while, that little black book sat in a box in the attic. The only real legacy left by his father. A wasted inheritance and a waste of space.

Jacob tried not to think about how miserable things were but fixated on it anyway. He couldn't see any way to break this cycle. He was always circling the drain fighting to avoid being sucked down into oblivion. Janie's hours were cut due to the pregnancy and she'd soon be on full maternity leave. He couldn't take on a second job or side gigs. Not that there were many side gigs available for a 30-something, mid-level manager. He couldn't do performance gigs like his brother, Jeremy. He had no musical talent. He sucked at painting so he had no hope of being a part-time artist like his assistant, who made significantly less than he did but still had a nest egg. Here he was, a successful adult with a decent job and he couldn't stop worrying about the next unexpected event. Because unexpected events always happened. You couldn't avoid or ignore them. You just had to grit your teeth, tighten your belt and get through them. The only way to truly handle them was to have that nest egg to take the sting out of those bombs life threw at you.

He just kept circling the drain.

This wasn't getting him anywhere so he rolled out of bed and went downstairs. Janie was in the kitchen. She not only had the coffee brewed but was already making breakfast. She turned to him, smiled and said, "Good morning!" His love for her hit him like a flood, as it often did when she smiled. Married eight years and she still made him feel like a lovesick teenager. She never doubted him or their future together. Somehow, she always believed that they were going to be okay. "Faith," she called it. Faith in God. In him. In their marriage. She was always healing him in ways he never understood, usually before he even realized he'd been hurt.

He kissed her, poured his coffee and thought back on their years together. He remembered how well she handled his father when nobody else could. His father was an all-out corporate executive type. Do what he says, follow his advice and don't give him any lip or lazy excuses. Just shut up and do what you're told. Then Janie walked into their lives. She brought out a kindness in his father that Jacob had never seen before. He was still all gruff and bluster, but she make him smile and even laugh. More importantly, she made Jacob feel more confident in his father's presence. she helped fight the demons of insecurity and doubt that always tortured him after an evening with his father. She kept telling Jacob there was more to his father than the cruel dictator. He just couldn't see it. Then the old man died, left a huge chunk of his fortune to charity, spread another lump to his younger brother and sister and the little that was left went to him and Jeremy. That and the box of books gathering dust in the attic.

Over breakfast, Jacob couldn't stop thinking about his father and getting angry. Robert Cooper wasn't what you would call an affluent man. He had an immaculate estate he'd had built tucked away in the Virginia mountains. To Jacob it had always seemed like a secluded mansion. Off the beaten path, yet close enough to civilization to still be connected to the world. Robert ran a strict household and growing up Jacob always struggled to get things right. He didn't clean well enough. He never quite did his chores properly. His grades were never as good as Jeremy's. He hated sports but he'd played baseball because his father insisted. Nothing he did ever measured up to the old man.

At twelve, Jacob got a small paper route. When he got his first little paycheck, his father sat him down and gave him the first lecture about having a nest egg. It was lost on Jacob. At twelve he didn't care about saving anything. He wanted to get out of that house. He needed the money to go out with his friends. But his father insisted so that first paycheck went to open his first savings account. Every paycheck from every job went into that damned savings account and he wasn't allowed to touch any of it. Every time he brought it up, his father would give him a withering look and launch back into his nest egg lecture. Always that damned nest egg.

When he turned eighteen, Jacob closed out that savings account as his first real act of rebellion against his father. It was only a little over seventeen thousand but it was enough for Jacob to buy his first car with enough left over for a few nights on the town with his friends before heading off to college. His newfound freedom was exhilarating but it ended with his father's cruel intervention. Other than strict college expenses, all money from his parents was cut off. He would be provided tuition, books and basic food but nothing else. If Jacob wanted it, he'd have to pay for it himself. His father wasn't going to pay for any kind of "lavish lifestyle" like some of his classmates had.

As Jacob finished his breakfast, Janie looked at him and said, "You haven't heard a word I've said, have you?"

"What? Oh. Sorry, honey. I didn't mean to zone out on you."

Janie laughed. "Oh that's okay. I'm used to it. I could tell when you came downstairs you had something on your mind. But we need to clean out the attic to make room for the furniture in the guest bedroom so we can start putting the nursery together. If we keep putting this off, we'll have to push to get it done and you won't have me available to help."

Jacob groaned internally. His day off wasn't going to be as relaxing as he'd planned. When Janie wanted something done, she generally got it done. She was like her father in that respect. yet somehow, she did it without making him feel inadequate. Somehow, she made it seem like a special treat to do her bidding.

"Okay," he laughed, "You made your point. I surrender!" He took her hand across the table. "I always surrender to you. How do you do it?"

"Three parts love, two parts common sense and one part dominatrix," she laughed.

"Well then let me get started before you break out the whip." He got up and headed upstairs to change, but not before getting one last kiss.

An hour later, Jacob walked into the attic ready for some manual labor. He hoped the physical work would take his mind off of his father. How could a man with so much money be so stingy when it came to helping his own children? His father had merely stood by as life dropped bomb after bomb on him and Janie over the years. Not once did he offer to pay or even to help. He just lectured about nest eggs. THAT never ended.

Jacob looked around and saw the box of books from his father. It had been specifically marked to go to Jacob. It made no sense. Frankly, it was insulting. He gave his money away to strangers but gives his son a damned box of books. Well, this crap was going to be the first thing to go. He hadn't opened it in the three years since his father passed away. He'd briefly ruffled through it after the funeral but hadn't seen anything worth keeping so he'd stuck it up here. Out of sight, out of mind. It was time to toss it. The empty space he needed was more valuable than his father's lousy books.

Jacob bent to pick up the box and the bottom broke open, spilling its contents all over the floor.

"DAMMIT!!" he yelled. It was bad enough he couldn't shake these negative thoughts. Now someone or some force wanted to really rub his nose in it. He threw the box aside and bent down to pick everything up. As he picked up the little black book, one of the pages cut his index finger. he cursed again and dropped the book. It hit the floor and a small envelope fell out and slid across the floor. It looked like a birthday card but, when he picked it up, it was heavier. he opened the envelop and found a small green booklet hidden inside the obligatory card. There was a note in his father's handwriting.

Jacob,

I am writing this to you because we both know I've never been good at saying certain things face to face. I know I've been hard on you over the years. I've been more like a dictator than a father and I cannot apologize enough for that. I've always been proud of you, son. You were a fighter from day one and I always admired that about you. But you were also a gentle soul. That terrified me. To be a fighter you have to be tough. Hard. Relentless and sometimes uncaring. A gentle soul is bound to get hurt. I thought it impossible to maintain your kindness and zest for life and still be a fighter. You have proven me wrong over the years and I've never been happier to be wrong. I have watched you struggle through life's hardships and not once did you turn angry or bitter. You and Janie held onto your faith, smiled into the face of Life and fought through every single thing that tried to bring you down. I always lectured you about making sure you had a nest egg to help you face life's events. But what you and Janie already have will get you through anything. I taught you about the egg, but you, son, built a solid nest.

Having said that, you will find alongside this note, a small bankbook for a private account which was not recorded in any of my financial records. I set it up years ago and have given you sole access to it. I received my diagnosis from the cancer and have accepted my fate. Unfortunately, I am still unable to face you directly and say this. I hope you can forgive me. I'm putting this in a ledger and sealing it up in a box of other books to keep out prying eyes. I will designate it to be given strictly to you in my will. I know you are unable to build your own nest egg so I have built one for you. I hope and pray it gives you the peace of mind that you have so clearly been struggling for all these years.

Jacob could hardly breathe. He read it again. Finally, he picked up the bankbook. Twenty thousand dollars. He Blinked through the tears in his eyes but the number didn't change. Finally, he picked up the book, envelope and the message from his father and headed downstairs.

"Janie! You're not going to believe this!!"