The Little Black Book of Happy Quotes

It was the first time she left the house since standing over her Grandmother’s casket. The sleepless nights and dreary days added up, but the amount of time seemed to allude Melanie. As she stepped into the sun, she realized she hadn’t left the house since the funeral. She took a long but jagged breath, trying to let the crisp morning air fill her lungs. She woke up thinking “I’ll just go get a cup of coffee.” But she knew leaving the house would amount to more than just a boost of caffeine; Grammie wouldn’t have wanted to see her like this.

With her favorite book in hand, Melanie walked down the sidewalk, gradually increasing in speed. It felt good to leave the house; the sun felt good on her skin. She looked up as she walked under an oak tree to see a Cardinal land on the branch. She paused for a second to watch the bird. A brief feeling of peace touched her heart, but she could barely smile. Grammie always loved watching the Cardinals.

Melanie arrived at her favorite coffee shop, where she used to start each day with. She was greeted by the cashier. “There you are!” Tiffany exclaimed. “Sorry love. I’ve been out of town,” Melanie said, trying to sound as cheerful as possible. “Well, we have missed you! I’ll have your regular right up!” Tiffany said with her usual bubbly tone. Melanie forced a smile and continued to her familiar chair. She opened her book and searched for her favorite part of the story. “Maybe if I enjoy a few of my favorite things, I can feel alive again,” she thought, seeking such things, but not really believing they would help.

After a few minutes, Tiffany bounced over to her and handed her the cup of coffee. Melanie grabbed it without looking up from the book. She couldn’t look up right now. She knew she couldn’t force another smile. Tiffany paused for a second, clearly perplexed by the change in Melanie’s behavior, but then quickly went back to the register without saying a word. Relieved, Melanie sighed, and turned the page. As her eyes scanned the words, she could tell the book wouldn’t quite have the same feeling it has before. This was the part of the book that made her heart flutter, but she felt nothing. “I wish I could just feel something,” she thought as she took the first sip of her coffee.

As the warm soothing beverage filled her mouth, an older woman sat down across from her. She did not lift her eyes from the book; she knew it was best to avoid all eye contact with those around her. Forcing another smile might just break her. She felt like a flood gate waiting to burst open, not knowing when the next rush of tears would hit her. The woman cleared her throat, but Melanie did not lift her gaze. She continued to blankly stare at the words but somehow felt comforted by this woman’s presence. “I miss Grammie so much, I am consoled by strangers.” A slight smile appeared on Melanie’s face while she chuckled at herself.

The woman cleared her throat again, as if to get Melanie’s attention. She could feel the tears now building in her eyes. She began to panic with embarrassment “I should have never left the house!” Melanie thought to herself. “I can’t let everyone see me sob hysterically. I’ll never be able to show my face here again.”

The woman cleared her throat for a third time. Melanie couldn’t hold the tears back any longer. She just closed her eyes and silently begged for the woman go away. Melanie lifted the book higher, to hide her face. The tears were seeping through her closed lids, not holding back much at all.

“A little birdy told me you would need this more than I do,” the woman said as she stood from her chair and placed a little black book on the table beside Melanie. Melanie wiped her face and slowly began to open her eyes, peeking between the remaining tears. The woman had already begun to walk away. She picked up the book. It was The Little Black Book of Happy Quotes her grandmother had, the book she tried so desperately to find when going through her things. Melanie gasped, she couldn’t believe what was resting in her hand. She couldn’t believe a complete stranger would know what she so hopelessly longed for. She jumped up. Forgetting her coffee, she clenched the book and ran to the woman, who had already left the shop. As she ran out the door, the woman turned around, clearly hearing the commotion Melanie was creating as she rushed to find her.

“How did you know?” Melanie said.

“How did I know what, my dear?” said the woman.

“How did you know I needed this book.” Melanie said.

“I told you a little birdy told me” said the woman, pausing for Melanie’s response. Melanie looked at her with great confusion and the woman laughed.

“I saw you looking at the cardinal in the Oak tree. I’ve seen you in here before, and you were always so happy. But as you looked up in the tree there was such a deep sadness in your eyes. I just wanted to comfort you. I thought it might be strange to come hug a stranger, but you always have a book. So I thought a book might comfort you. As the thought occurred to me, my intuition sat quite well, like this book would bring you great comfort.”

Melanie was speechless. She opened her mouth to speak but no words would come out. The woman chuckled again. “You don’t need to say anything, sweet child. I hope you find comfort in the book.” She reached around Melanie and gave her a strong hug. It felt just like the hugs her Grammie used to give her. Melanie rested in the woman’s arms for a moment. Time seemed to stand still as she sank into her chest. Melanie slowly lifted away from the woman but once again could not look her in the eyes.

“Take care of yourself girl. It will be alright.”

Melanie sighed again. She took a deep breath, this time actually feeling the air in her lungs. She felt alive again.