The Immovable Shelf

Perception is Reality.

I have always said that perception is reality and today I lived by my own words.

About a week ago I purchased a shelf at a garage sale. Made of wood, about 4’ tall and 3’ wide, on wheels. I had my toddler with me when I bought it so some good Samaritans helped me to load it into my pickup.

When I got home my husband helped me to get it out of the pickup and move it to the front porch -where it stayed until today.

Why didn’t we just move it in right away? Because I thought that we’d need someone to hold the door open for us as we hauled this cumbersome thing in and put it in another temporary home before organizing our storage room.

You want to know who finally got it inside, a week later? Me. Just me and my 17-month-old. I was tired of seeing it on our porch and thought I’d try moving it myself, my stubborn nature had helped me move heavy objects in the past.

You know what happened? I moved the dumb thing with ease. It was on wheels for goodness sakes!

My perception of the object had become my reality and though I was wrong, for about a week, that shelf was impossible to move simply because I imagined it to be so.

This was a shelf and really wasn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but aren’t we all guilty of making our own realities at times?

How many times have I guessed at other people’s thoughts and intentions? Assuming they felt a certain way about something or about me?

I make them someone they are not. Sometimes I demonize them, maybe thinking that because they acted a certain way or spoke a certain way that they had ulterior motives, that they don’t like me.

I may write them off or avoid them, all because of my perception; my uneducated decision about what they meant or who they are.

I can remember a job I had years ago, one of the other ladies I worked with was smart, gorgeous, and straight up intimidating. She was supposed to help teach me in my new role. She would assign tasks here and there but didn’t speak to me often or even seem to acknowledge me.

She was stuck up, too good for me. Clearly, she saw me as a nuisance, not worthy of her time.

I soon moved on from that role but continued to work for the company. Some friends I’d made in the company would talk about her as if she was a great person. They couldn’t have known her like I did. They’d never talk about her that way if they did.

Fast forward a few months and she had to come work at my location where I was in charge of teaching her.

Do you know what I learned? This woman, who I felt had snubbed me, was actually incredibly sweet with a kind heart and humble personality. She was an introvert much like myself and I had completely misread her.

My perception had shaped my reality.

Fast forward yet again to another work scenario in which colleagues and I were taking personality profiles and applying that knowledge to our careers.

One of the women I had worked with on and off for years described me as intimidating. Me! Servant-hearted, people pleasing, introverted me.

I couldn’t believe it, something in my behavior had given her that perception of me and it had become her reality.

I’ve noticed, far too often, in my personal and professional life that people allow their perceptions of a person or of a situation to dictate their own actions. Where they’ve become so engrossed in what they think is truth, when in reality it’s just what they’ve imagined or been told.

Don’t let this be you. The shelf on my porch today was my wake up call to rethink my perceptions, to challenge my feelings and to open my eyes enough to see the truth.

The shelf wasn’t immovable, I was. When I decided to test my theory, I found out I was wrong.

Don’t let the shelf sit on the porch forever. Make sure your perception is truly a reality before you make it your reality.