The Humbling Giant

Ava desperately wanted to blame clumsiness on her current predicament. After “tripping” in her study partner’s dorm, she was on a lunch date to retrieve an artifact lost in the excitement. Of course, Xian could have dropped the watch at her dorm, but Ava saw this as an opportunity to clear any confusion. There were already rumors circulating about the young women’s friendship, but that didn’t seem to bother either young woman. That was until last night.

As Ava was pushed into Bloom’s Bistro by a brisk gust of autumn air, the aroma compelled her to remember the events of the previous night. Maybe it was the smell of Xian’s vegetable medley or the excitement from finals the following week that had Ava acting like this way. Maybe some supernatural force robbed her in a moment of weakness. Something, anything, had to be an excuse for the previous night’s events. She was not upset or nervous, but there was a jittery feeling Ava couldn’t shake. It was an engrossing echo to the butterflies she felt the previous night while “tripping.”

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Both Ava and Xian were on the cusp of repeating the class for unique reasons. Ava’s lack of interest combined with the beautiful view caused her to often zone out during class. While Xian was attentive, her contempt for their professor often led to disrespect. Professor Sallow often joked the pair would be better suited as study partners, suggesting they would either become a stain on the university or exemplary students.

In the month of them studying together, both their grades improved tremendously but fell just short of a passing grade. Their last study session was to end with a dinner of Xian’s friends wishing luck on finals. That was until Ava kissed Xian. As she lied to herself and her friend, the recently single Ava knew this was something to be explored.

As they studied, Ava gained respect for Xian’s unique approach to life. It seemed where most saw flowers, Xian saw thin, green life-sticks and their polychromatic offspring. The abstract nature of Xian’s perspective caused many to dismiss or admire her, which intrigued Ava. Xian’s carefree demeanor was enough to make most people like (and leave) her, but it was the care Xian showed to those who stuck around that gained Ava’s adoration.

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Not long after Ava entered Bloom’s Bistro, she was shown to a booth near the back as she asked when making the reservation. Xian insisted they go to lunch and said Ava could choose the restaurant; Ava planned on making Xian eat those words by finding the most expensive one near campus.

Going towards the booth, Bloom’s was clearly in shambles after a lunch rush. Ava was grateful for the small blessing of a slow washing machine, or they would have been there during the chaos.

Despite Ava pushing back the time an hour, Xian was still running 5 minutes late to the lunch she requested. I should just leave and have her drop the watch at my dorm, Ava considered as Xian strolled into the dining room from the kitchen.

Xian, although not exactly tall, had a commanding presence that towered over anyone standing next to her. Her current outfit, while appropriate for the chill weather, was also perfectly suited for the restaurant. This should have come as no surprise, but the nonchalant attire her friend typically wore seemed novice to the ensemble walking towards their booth. Every article of clothing seemed to be in conversation with the other in a way Ava never encountered before Xian. Her black boots and cuffed skinny accented her long legs and hips in a way that both confused and piqued Ava’s interest. Xian’s turtleneck clung to terra-cotta skin while complimenting a hovering long, tan peacoat; an apophyllite necklace adorned her torso screaming: “catch me if you can.” Finally, the dark emerald wide-brimmed hat complemented thick, curly strands of coffee hair that seemed to float behind Xian with every step.

“I’m sorry for my lateness, I was having a conversation with the chef. She suggested we test the grilled cheese sampler and their new merlot, Wandering Giants. My aunt ordered a few cases after she tried the Bright Cellars shipment at my house,” Xian said, glancing around. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? It seems like you want to be hidden.”

“I wouldn’t have come if I didn’t feel comfortable,” Ava replied drier and more sternly than anticipated. “I hope you had fun after I left last night.”

“Yeah, Tierra and her roommate came over a few minutes after you left. They were worried about you,” Xian said, sipping her water, careful not to break eye contact.

“What did you say?”

“Exactly what you said, you tripped and needed to go home. I didn’t tell them you kissed me.”

“But I didn’t! I—”

“Tripped,” Xian mocked, rolling her eyes.

Ava could tell her companion’s patience with the lie was wearing thin. Although she was not ready to admit to herself and much less Xian, the young woman also wanted her friend near; physically and emotionally. As Ava carefully gathered her next words, she reminded herself that Xian was one of the few people she didn’t want to disappoint or hurt. The thought of losing someone who meant so much became a sharp pain that flashed in the pit of Ava’s stomach. “I’m sorry for head-butting you,” Ava teased, looking away from her companion.

“It didn’t hurt until you left. Something about your hand on my waist made me forget the pain until you hurt me again,” Xian responded with a chuckle, placing two hands over her heart. “But if I get a first date out of it, the incident couldn’t have been a complete loss.”

“Who said this was a date?”

“I’m sorry, what do you call lunch the day after you kiss… I’m sorry ‘trip’ and head-butt someone you can’t take your eyes off without smiling?”

“A watch retrieval lunch? And that’s not fair, I’m always smiling.”

“If you’d like to call this a watch retrieval lunch, we can call it a watch retrieval lunch… for now.”

Just as Xian finished taunting her study partner, their server came out of the kitchen with a tray of sandwiches, two bowls of tomato bisque soup, two glasses, and a bottle of Wandering Giants. Ava knew Xian’s aunt owned the restaurant but was surprised to see her friend and Xian’s cousin Tierra, whom she carefully eluded the night before, as their server. In an attempt not to make eye contact, Ava sent a text to Xian:

Ava

2:09pm

Let’s eat and get out of here. FAST!

Immediately, shock and regret conquered the residual butterflies. As she shifted uneasily in the booth, Ava realized Xian was getting the notifications from her phone to the watch. There was a loud ding on Xian’s phone that caught the attention of the one other table and the wait staff. The smirk on Tierra’s face reflected knowing what was sent to her cousin’s phone.

“Don’t leave because of me,” Tierra giggled as she set down the tray and poured glasses of merlot. “Be careful with this one. She bites,” she joked, playfully hitting her cousin as she walked away.

“What did you see last night?” Ava whispered sternly.

“Calm down, Kid Flash. You may want to eat and drink a little before we talk about the watch. As a matter of fact,” Xian joked awkwardly, projecting her voice and sliding the watch across the table. “Tierra! You may want to bring another bottle!”

“Why would you do that? What did you see?”

“Before I say anything, I want you to know it wasn’t intentional. I was cleaning up after everyone left and it was right there… on the floor… under the sink. I had no way of knowing you were messaging Tierra about me, I promise.”

Ava gasped. She knew this was likely but did not want to believe her ears. Xian saw the texts sent between Ava and Tierra the previous night. Glancing at the watch and careful not to draw any more attention to the pair, Ava quietly and coldly chided her former friend. “Pendejo! You did it on purpose, verdad? You hid my watch on purpose to get this date! I should’ve known you were too good to be true. Here you are, this beautiful person who has no reason to be single, pero you’re here. I feel so stupid. It’s okay, after this lunch, I’m done. No more dinners or late-night jokes, you tried to put me in a situation after I asked you not to. And here I felt bad for hurting you. You manipulated me.”

The anguish shown both in her voice and face sent chills down Xian’s spine. In the 3 years of knowing each other and one month of them being close, she had never imagined this amount of pain and disappointment. As Xian grabbed Ava’s hand and peered deep into her soul, they truly saw each other.

Hurting, scared, hiding, fractured, longing, searching, answering, healing, relieved, hoping.

The thought I would never hurt you came to Xian’s mind. Knowing that was a lie, Xian gently rubbed Ava’s hands to reassure her partner.

“I’ve lived my life pretty aimlessly; being here with you, caring for you was by design. I would never intentionally hurt you or do anything to cause you harm. I saw the texts by accident after you dropped your watch. It was under the sink; you must’ve dropped it while looking around. I saw what you sent Tierra, but I didn’t go looking for it. I’m not sure if you believe in fate, but you dropping the watch brought us here. Who knows what being here will bring us? I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, but I need your honesty for this to survive. I promise to be more intentional if you promise to be real with me.”

Ava took a long pause. Xian’s hands tightened on her own. The warmth, strength, and curiosity seemed to ebb and flow like currents pushing and pulling the pair; tying a knot that sealed their fate.

A gentle I’m scared was quietly discharged from Ava’s being.

Unsure whether she said the words or thought them too loudly, Ava decided to find her strength and confidence. Straightening her posture and realigning her mind, she took back her hands and clasped them together.

Quietly, Ava took a sip of Wandering Giant and a bite of her lamb grilled cheese sandwich. The pair ate in silence, occasionally glancing between sips, nibbles, dips, and pours. Knowing what was in the other’s heart, they vibrated their emotions and intentions without uttering a sound. After twenty minutes of eating in silence, Ava grabbed her watch, left the table, and went towards the washroom. Confused and unsure whether to leave or follow, Xian paid the tab and decided the kitchen was the best option. Her aunt was a consistent and wise advisor who was yet to fail. As she walked towards the kitchen, Ava marched out of a vacant office. The shock didn’t have time to set before Ava took Xian’s hand in her own and strode back into the office.

“I did trip,” Ava announced closing the door. “I made the mistake of not being honest with you, which, I guess, is me tripping. I apologize. I kissed you and I’m afraid of losing you. Fate may have brought us here, but that doesn’t mean it wants us to stay together. I just need you to know something.”

“What’s that,” Xian questioned nervously.

“The head-butt kinda hurt me too.”

The pair laughed loudly.

Leaving the restaurant, hand in hand, they floated; deciding whatever obstacles fate held would be handled together.