The Granola Bar Fairy

Shopping is hard for me, and it always has been. It's a little easier these days with the advent of e-commerce, but sometimes I still have to go to a brick-and-mortar store. I get overwhelmed: sensory overload, too many options, all the walking... No thank you. It was the same when I was a kid. My mom and sister could take their time shopping for clothes or school supplies. I just wanted to grab it and go, even on a good day. If I could find somewhere to sit or something to keep my interest while they did the shopping, that was ideal.

The small moment with a big impact came on a day that wasn't-so-good. I don't remember how old I was. Middle school, maybe? We were in Green Bay and shopping at Kohl's. I'm pretty sure I consented to the trip because Mom said we would get food afterwards. The only chain restaurant in my hometown was (and probably still is) a Subway, so I looked forward to any food experience attached to a trip into the city. But first, my mom and sister needed to shop for some clothes.

Knowing that there was restaurant food in my future, I didn't eat before we left. That was a bad call. It was a worse call than I was prepared for. By the time the two of them had a pile of clothes to try on in the fitting rooms, I was beyond hungry. I had found a little chair to camp on and all I could think about was how hungry I was. It was the kind of hungry that makes you feel sick. The kind of desperate hunger your body throws at you to make it clear you messed up.

I was not a happy camper. Every few minutes I whined, "Are you guys almost done? I'm really hungry." I probably shouldn't have been whining. This was entirely my own fault, and whining wouldn't make the shopping happen faster. But I was starting to get a little scared about how my body was feeling. What would happen if I waited much longer? Would I throw up? Faint? Cry? Embarrass myself and everyone around me?

Then a stranger approached me. It was a woman holding her purse with both hands. She asked if I'd like a granola bar. She said it wasn't any trouble, she had more than one in her purse because she was hypoglycemic and she knew what it was like to suddenly need a snack. I happily accepted and I thanked her emphatically. And that was the whole interaction. I don't even remember what kind of granola bar it was, but I do remember thinking it didn't matter. Even if it was my least favorite flavor, this was an incredibly generous gift and I was going to enjoy it.

There are so many thoughts baked into that memory. First of all, I had accepted food from a stranger. That's one of the big no-no's of childhood, right? No candy from strangers? Something clicked for me about the nuances of human interaction in that moment. There were circumstances where I could talk to strangers, and should talk to strangers, especially if I needed help. That was a cool realization.

Piggybacking off of that idea, this woman had interacted with me, a child, and not my mom. Mom was in the fitting room with my sister. She was busy and didn't have eyes on me. I'm sure she heard everything, so it's not like I was in danger or anything, but still it was wild to me that I could have an interaction like this as an independent human. Someone offered me something and I accepted it without a layer of approval or permission in between. Agency is a pretty cool realization, too.

Lastly, I feel a bit silly about this one, but learning that hypoglycemia is a thing was also mind-blowing at the time. Being a kid, I was still learning how bodies work and still getting to know my own hunger signals. I had an awareness of diabetes from my mom. I knew that blood sugar could get high. I'd never thought about it getting low. I'm sure it's not a fun problem to have, and the fact that I looked at it as a novelty calls for a hefty privilege check, but it felt like a big deal to know that there wasn't just one direction blood sugar goes. It did a little to help me see that other people are going through things that you don't (and sometimes simply can't) know about.

I think about that moment pretty often. When I have a granola bar on me for emergencies, I remember that moment. When I screw up and forget to eat and start feeling some symptoms of low blood sugar, I definitely remember that moment. I also remember it when I have opportunities to help strangers. There's always a piece of me that wants to appear from nowhere and be the Granola Bar Fairy for somebody else. It happened once, too! I was leaving a Walgreens downtown with a box of Cosmic Brownies sticking out of my bag, when a woman waiting to cross the street asked for one. Heck yeah, you can have a brownie! I'm not gonna miss it.

Don't be afraid to accept help from strangers if you need it, and never leave home without a snack.