The Gifts of my Father

On August 3, 2023 my father succumbed to cancer after a 6 year battle. Throughout the experience he remained positive and inspired those who knew him to keep going no matter what life threw at you.

For several years before his death I had started to realize all of the ways he had influenced me and how they have made me the person I am today.

The Gift of Optimism

My father would never tell you that he had a bad day. Instead he would describe his “character building day” and ask you to pray for those who who were in dire circumstances. He tried not to burden others and saw the good in people. He always tried to leave others with a positive experience because he knew that life is unpredictable and he did not want his last memory of them to have been a fight. These traits made him pleasant to be around and I have tried to carry on his legacy by frequently complimenting my coworkers and randomly thanking those who perform the disgusting jobs in mall food courts. (You should try it. They are expecting a complaint and are caught off guard.)

The Gift of Hard Work

Having grown up on a farm Dad demonstrated the importance of working hard and taking pride in doing a good job. Instead of giving us an allowance he would take us and the dogs for walks down gravel roads or to bush party sites where we would collect beer bottles and cans to cash in for the deposit. He also helped us prepare the news papers for delivery and would take over our routes on particularly unpleasant mornings. When finances became scarce he took on a second job detailing cars. Even when volunteering he gave his all letting those he was serving know he cared.

The Gift of Building Community

Dad knew that neighbours are essential to surviving in life and would always try to assist where he could. He would never just mow his lawn and was always on the lookout in case someone needed help. With permission he would hand out candy at church making the children happy and gaining him the name the Candy Man.

At Papa’s funeral Dad told me that no one in that small community had a bad thing to say about Papa. His comment has always stuck with me and I hope that when it is my time to leave this earth people will only think positively about me too. Dad accomplished this in his own life as several of his former coworkers and the drivers he dispatched came to his funeral to show their respect and say goodbye.

The Gift of Family

Dad tried to encourage us to develop a relationship with our extended family and taught us the importance of contributing to your household. He would assist my grandfather with milking whenever we visited the farm and would help maintain my maternal grandmother’s property (even though she did not like him). He could always be counted on to play cards or a game of catch on the front yard. As a child I had the security of knowing he would come to our school events, that I could ask for help if I needed it, and that while he would tease me it was never malicious. (One time I came home from school complaining that the kids thought I was crazy. His response was “well I’d be happy to confirm it for them.” Thanks Dad — you do wonders for my self-esteem at times.)

The Gift of Knowledge

My father is the reason I became a writer. He taught me the joy of learning and reading by taking me to the zoo, library, and museums. When we visited my grandparents you would find him reading one of their encyclopedias on the couch.

Dad also encouraged us to do well in school and would help us if needed. In elementary and middle school he would help me study and make it fun with his enthusiasm. Even though I cannot remember who the Canadian explorers were (and frankly my life has not been impacted negatively by that fact) I will always remember the joy on his face as he tried to help me learn them for an upcoming test. He wanted me to do well and I am grateful for the help he provided.

The Gift of Faith

At Dad’s funeral the pastor made the statement “Gerry believed”. In a world where people look at the religious negatively Dad lived his faith and it was a positive experience for all who knew him. He always took us to church and showed through example that faith requires action — you can’t expect God to do everything for you. He was raised Catholic and told stories about how his parents' faith had provided stability during his formative years. Shortly before I moved away from home to start my career the two of us started a nightly Bible study. It took us over five years but we succeeded in ready through the entire Bible and learning from each other. Those were some of our best phone conversations.