The First Time I Liked a Girl

Hi, it’s me again, Luna. Long time no see! I want to talk to you, dear reader, about someone special. The most gorgeous and kind woman I ever met…

At first, I was mesmerized by her love of life and her happiness. But I wasn’t feeling anything special at the time. We were smoking weed occasionally after our job, ‘cause we worked at the same place. Until a few days ago, I never thought I could like a girl this way. Her name is Rafaella.

Let me take you back to the beginning…

Me and my boss were conducting interviews and she came for one. She had bright green eyes and a poisonous smile. We loved her immediately and hired her on the spot. At first, we didn’t work together very often. So, I wasn’t aware of her sense of humor, her intelligence, and her bright mind. After a bit, I started to ask her more frequently to stay with me after work to smoke a little. So, I started to bring her to my favorite place, at the end of my world, a special spot on the beach. So, our meets became regular, and my vision of her changed progressively. I started to feel something every time I saw her. I’m not going to lie, it was terrifying. I kept repeating myself, “I’m not gay. It’s not happening.” But it happened, and I’m not gay for that, I just love the person and her boiling personality. She just happens to be a girl.

Time was flying by and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. At first, I couldn’t admit that I was potentially having feelings for a girl. But now it’s pretty clear that I’m falling, not for her gender, but for her personality that fits mine like a glove. A match made in heaven. We think, talk, and act alike. And frankly her tattoos make me crazy. Especially the neck tattoo—so hot! She would be perfect for me, if she was a guy. We can talk for hours and never get bored of each other. I’m not into boobs and lady parts at all, I like guys. I’m still not ready to make an exception, even for her.

I’m telling you, when she smiles it illuminates the room. I know that I’m not supposed to think or feel that. Not because she’s a woman, but because she has someone in her life, and I shouldn’t cultivate these kinds of thoughts. It’s really difficult to shut down the voices in my head, ‘cause I’m really attracted to Rafaella. I could go on and on like this, but I’ll never act on it. Cheating is a really big deal breaker for me. Even if technically I wouldn’t be the one cheating, she would, but I’d be just as guilty because I’d know.

It’s my kind of luck; I find someone that fits me perfectly and that person is either in a relationship or just not interested. It’s the story of my life and the title would be “Rejection” or maybe “Rejected.” There’s a touch of drama that I like better. Anyway, even if I was willing to cross this line, it doesn’t change the fact that she sadly has a girlfriend.

When we are together, I’m under the impression that she can breathe a little. She can be herself around me, and I can be the same around her. It happens often that I say something and she replies that she does the same. Her girlfriend is a little bit susceptible. Rafaella needs to choose her words carefully in order to not get on her nerves. If you ask me, it’s not a way to treat the one you love, but it’s none of my business.

When I started to know her more, she seemed to have a strong temper. I never could imagine that she was the submissive in her couple. She even is the type that I like: brown hair, green eyes, and a smile to die for.

And I could swear that when I saw her yesterday, she looked at me the same way I’m trying not to look at her. She was leaving with her girlfriend, and she turned around and looked me in the eyes for a very long time and said goodbyes two or three times.

Help me someone, I think I’m falling head over hills for that beautiful human being. I’ll keep you posted. See ya!