The farthest you are, is my nearest love

I think heaven must be beautiful before mom never returns ...... Hearing this sad song, my eyes couldn't help but rain.

The most painful thing in a person's life is watching their loved one age, get sick, or pass away and not being able to do anything about it. For example, my mother, who loved me the most in this world, left and went to heaven without a second thought, and has been separated from us ever since.

I can't forget the year 2021, the end of summer, rainy, sultry, between light and shadow, one morning, my mother had a sudden cerebral hemorrhage, and the word "critically ill" was like a huge dark cloud suddenly floating in the clear sky, shrouding me outside the ICU door for a long time, unable to break free from the "darkness".

Yes, from the moment my mother was hospitalized, I was full of sorrow, sleep, and food, I felt every nerve in my body was tense, as if all the sadness was magnified, there was no color in front of my eyes, all that remained was silent prayers and endless tears. ( Article reading website: www.sanwen.net )

However, there are many things in life, not by a person's sadness or devout prayer, will certainly be able to achieve what you want, God did not because of my full of expectations and gloomy cry, treat her old man generously.

On the eighth day of my mother's admission, she suffered another hemorrhage in her brain, and I stood at a loss for words in the garden outside the hospital, crying on the phone, crying for my beloved mother, who had not waited for the day of her four-room house and had not returned to her longed-for hometown ...... with some longing for her earthly family and friends and many regrets. The first time I saw her, she quietly left in a deep coma, so abruptly and decisively that she didn't even give us a chance to do our filial duty at her bedside.

Mother, do you know? Up to now, I could not accept the fact that you had passed away. I wanted your departure to be just a dream that I had, and you were just visiting your hometown, but the reality reminded me cruelly that our mother-daughter relationship in this life had been abruptly broken on that rainy night at the end of that summer, leaving me with only endless regrets and longing.

In the countless days and nights after my mother left, I would recall our time together over and over again whenever I was free. I often blame myself for being sad, I should have been kinder to my mother because just not having to do anything for her was not enough. When my mother was alive, she liked to have a good time, and she liked to sit around the table and talk about family matters, but I was so busy with my so-called affairs that I ignored her inner feelings.

Now, there is no more my mother in the world, and all I can see are some yellowed old photos, and all my communication with her can only be in dreams.

My mother used to work for this family, farming, moving bricks, wearing the stars every day, wading through the mountains all year round, doing all kinds of hard work for us, and thus, early on, she fell into a disease, in my impression, my mother eating and taking medicine almost simultaneously. I thought my mother retired, we also have their own life, the days are better, and her old man can later enjoy their twilight years, I did not expect, this hospitalization will never be later ......

The phrase "children want to raise but parents do not wait" has really "burned" my body and mind, what a painful realization ah!

The characters on the keyboard jumped and flew, densely like the late summer rain for the mother's farewell, with sadness, with guilt, with reluctance, slowly converging into the mother's voice, and in a moment, tears once again blurred my vision.

The tears of longing have blotted out the past, but the past is also like a dusty old wine emitting the fragrance of motherly love.

I can't forget that when I was a child, every year-end, my mother stepped on the sewing machine under the lamp to make new clothes for us, and I wore that beautiful mood on my body that I can't express. I also can't forget the years when I was young and away from home, my mother wrote every letter to me with a single stroke on the desk, especially remembering the tears that dripped down on the paper and the worry between the lines. I can't forget the years I was away from her, and every phone call she made on my birthday ......

I miss my kind-hearted mother, I miss her warm-heartedness to help people all her life; I miss her belief in life that people respect me a foot; I miss her hair in her early thirties; I miss the way she started to take a lot of medicine before she was middle-aged; I miss the way she called me "child" before she died. ......

The time passed quietly, leaving only memories, the frame, scene, pile, a piece, vividly, especially the mother's voice; child, resounding in the ears, let my tears once again "smashed" down.

My world began to rain again, the rain that I will never forget. I picked up the mirror of sadness in the rain, tracing my mother's voice and smile in the depressing words, and telling my heart's empty thoughts in a million pains.

I miss my mother who is far away from home, are you okay in heaven? Thank you for the years of youth you gave to us, those years you took good care of us so that I remember, the farthest you are, is always the closest love of my life!