The Denial of Death and the Wish to Live Forever

If human beings only wanted to stay alive, then they could live like bugs—smashed under rocks, crawling in dirt, just breathing and surviving. But we don’t just want to live. We want to live with meaning. And the moment we start looking for that meaning, we run into a wall a heavy, terrifying truth: the awareness of death. The realization that one day, everything—everything will end.

That’s where philosophers like Ernest Becker step in. And not just him also Buddha, Kierkegaard, Heidegger, Sartre. Different voices, different times, same question:

If it’s all going to vanish, what will you do with your time here?

According to Buddhism, life is suffering. And the root of that suffering? Desire. Our cravings. And the biggest craving of all? To last. To stay. That aching dream of immortality. Becker talked about this too, how we’re haunted by the idea of our own end. Buddha, on the other hand, said: accept it. Accept death, detach from desire, move toward Nirvana. Erase yourself. Only then can suffering truly disappear.

But what do we do instead?

We take every little want, every need, every identity and we wrap them in flags, in pride, in holiness. We pretend they’re eternal. We make our names, our religions, our roles, feel like they’re going to outlive us. That way, we don’t have to think about dying. We convince ourselves we’re living for some bigger purpose, so the fear fades. At least for a while.

Martin Heidegger, a big name in existential philosophy, said: we are beings that are always leaning toward death. That’s our nature. But we don’t want to face it. We hide behind routines, behind social roles, behind religion and cultural stories. We live in what he called an “inauthentic existence.” Instead of being who we really are, we become a version of ourselves given to us by others parents, society, religion, whatever. That version gives us a false sense of peace. A false idea that maybe we won’t die at all.

Kierkegaard had his own take he said that we run away from our true self. Why? Because it’s too much. It’s lonely, it’s free, and it’s responsible. When you realize you’re truly free, when you realize that you alone are responsible for what you become, that’s terrifying. So what do we do? We start living under someone else’s authority. God, the state, the crowd, our followers on Instagram. Anything to not feel that raw, terrifying freedom.

All these philosophers agree on one thing:

We are scared of dying. And in that fear, we start dreaming about false eternity.

Becker called this the “Denial of Death.” His book with the same title explains how modern culture is built around avoiding the idea of death—both consciously and unconsciously. You’ll find this fear everywhere. In mosques, in fashion shows, in gold vaults inside banks. All around us, people are trying to outlive themselves. Trying to not disappear.

That’s why we worship rock stars. Think about it. These artists often live fast and die young. They overdose, crash, burn out. But we still treat them like gods. Why? Because they seem immortal. Their noise drowns out the silence of the grave. Becker said the modern rockstar is a kind of hero. Through their fame and chaos, they try to defeat death. The more they self-destruct, the more we admire them because deep down, they’re living the fantasy we don’t dare to. We wish we could be that loud. That unforgettable. We hope that someone like us can one day make so much noise, even the grave can't shut it out. That’s why we follow them. Admire them. And sometimes, see ourselves in them.

Same goes for messiahs be it religious prophets or ideological leaders. We don’t just follow them because they promise salvation. We follow them because they represent eternity. They give us a chance to not die. We tell their stories, kiss their sandals, surrender our minds at their feet not just out of faith, but out of fear. We hope they’ll pull us into some otherworldly place where death doesn’t touch us. The messiah becomes a walking symbol of our dream to live forever.

But let’s talk about the modern human now. This guy he wants to be a Buddhist monk and a TikTok star at the same time. He talks about detachment, letting go of ego, being nothing. And yet, he begs people: Please share my content. He’ll post about surrendering to God, becoming one with the universe but right next to his post, he’s got his title, his name, a quote, and a viral sound playing in the background. Why? Because he’s afraid to be forgotten. Afraid to disappear.

So, what do we do? What’s the way out?

Becker offers one possible answer. He says we need courage. The kind of courage where you can stand in front of death look it in the eye, and say:

Yes, I will die. But until then, I’ll speak the truth.

I’ll love

I’ll create beauty.

That’s it. That’s where the journey starts. Not with escaping death, but accepting it. The minute you let go of fake immortality, you step into real life. Raw, painful, beautiful life.

So maybe the real question isn’t, When will I die?

Maybe it’s, How do I live knowing that I will?

Because once you accept that you're temporary everything starts to matter more. Every hug, every word, every piece of art, every honest conversation. Nothing lasts but while it does, it can mean everything.

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