The change

It was a special day I would say, but it really was a normal day as any. I woke up in a morning and as soon as I opened my eyes in front of me was a large window in my room, I leaned out and felt how the breeze hit my face and how I felt the smell of milk chocolate and cinnamon drink that my mother prepared all the weekend. I ran to the dining room and ate my breakfast anxiously because I listened to my neighbors, playing in the park, I already wanted to go out.

We spent hours and hours playing, running and bathing on the small beach that we had in front of our house, we were eight children who played hide and seek until our mothers called us to go inside and have a lunch, she passed a lot with me to get me in and I never wanted to get into. It's incredible how the days went by and a new neighbor moved in next door, a rude guy and a bit spoiled boy, he was two years old than me and you know what, well I think it was a first love.

It might sound a bit stupid, I thought I knew about love at fourteen years old, but honestly I had no idea, I only knew that I felt butterflies in my stomach, I think. He just had a unique personality, challenging and mature for his age, I think his dad was rude with him and he learned to do the things by himself since he was little. He did not play with others guys, he was a lonely boy who walked on the beach throwing stones into the water. When I tried to get closer to him he evaded me and I decided to let it go and let it flow, I don't deny that his indifference hurt me a bit.

The years passed and I grew up, my days passed and I still saw my neighbors play, but for a reason, I would say, maybe because of my age, my interest in to have fun was different from running and playing hide and seek. I had a reason to change and get noticed. It was for him.

I felt a little sorry for my friends when they looked for me to go out to play and I rejected them because I just didn't want to look like a girl in front of him, I wanted to be the most mature. It was too great an overexertion. It's incredible what I became, I think I lost my identity by simply wanting to fit into the heart of someone who didn't even pay attention to me.

I entered adolescence and saw how I lost myself, how I looked through the window did not cause me the same feeling as years ago. One day I woke up and did not see my friends, it was a total silence, I went out to the park, looked everywhere and saw no signs of any, then I realized that they had found new friends and new interests, I do not deny that I felt bad and it made me sad, the worst thing was that whoever had motivated me to change, at least that's what I thought, had left and not alone, just with another girl.

You can do not know how much I cried for being so immature and not really living my life, the best thing is that I think it made me happier to be running and playing hide and seek with my friends, than to simply let myself be carried away by feelings a little banal and It was really troublesome to worry about fitting in and being accepted by someone whose sight I was never seen.

Years later, it was time to go to university in the city and leave everything, I met new people, a new environment and of course, I had another way of thinking. My mother still lived in the country and when the first vacation came, I went to visit her. I was surprised how everything was still intact, my room, the breeze that came through the window, how many good and melancholic memories. Visiting that little piece of land located in the Dominican Republic, called Samaná, will remain forever in my memories, specially those lessons learned. I miss those days of hiding and laughing, I saw my friends and believe me, they weren't never the same as before. Simply, I share my lesson, that please never change your essence, follow the path and flow in your time, that is what living is all about, step one step.