The Cadillac

The Cadillac by: benjamin murray jr

Growing up Country, surrounding by the natural crops of the seasons were not bad for a negro boy of 1947. I had no dreams or desires, aspirations but to play, playing was my game and I felt no shame. Saturdays was going to town day (The Back Lot) where the real playing begin.

Swing dancing was the movement of the time and I profected rhythm, for my timing of a high stepper. My sister was my favorite partner, every step, move, turn, slide I made. (an anticipated moves) she as there. Audience, we attracted the attention of other with our moves. Circles were made to allow space and all eyes to see. A performance suited for a stage. (The Place, Dew -Drop-Inn, Chicken Shack, Oh! Do not forget the Windmill, were our stage.

We would always wait for Annie Mae’sBBQ, (meat dropping off the bone hog, fried catfish wit/taters.), while the flashy cars, beautiful people, (despite their conditions) dominated the saloons door bars, better known as The Back Lot. Local communities from far and near would gather weekly to fellowship, wheel and deal and plan the future of our people. Ladies would get their hair hot pressed, and men a trim from the only shop in town. Ardella’s Beauty Shop and Rabbit’s Barber Shop were my sanctuary of knowledge, from checking out the thighs to eyeing the prize.

This part of the country is the example of America intent, escaping the reality of the world by keeping its promise to the Pee Dee people, we never encountered the harsh reality of this time in history. A community built on trust and principles for all its citizens were the intent of John Oates when he claimed this land. It is said that John Oates made a treaty and declaration of By-Laws for his purchased property. One such declaration was five black families were given 40 acres and a mule in a section of the Oates property of their choice. Each family was given a copy of this treaty signed, sealed, notarized and bonded in a Black Notebook.

Noisy, I was, am, being observant is an excellent trait to have, learn and becoming a master. After deflowering the many suiters on the farm, fishing and playing and MACKIN was the wonders of my very existence. Aunt Della and Grandma Estell would take me to town where I experienced the city life, with its limited amenities, uncaring to me as I had never been outside the Pee Dee river. Yet this little community allowed me the opportunity to horn a craft of survival for the rest of my life.

My city friend was the son of the local mortician, allowing us financial freedom with fringe benefits as privileged. With the casual wear of coveralls with other apparel, shipped from the streets of NYC. My country friends were the bare foot, chicken shyt between your toe’s friends. Two cultures within the soul of a confused child.

One Saturday I decided to venture myself, where I discovered a whole new world alone. I was able to explore the city without detection yet became familiar among locals as a fixture, which just seems to belong there. I noticed a well-dressed man going to the back doors of each saloons and collected envelops. On his last round he would open the trunk of his parked black Cadillac and put the envelops inside. I observed this ritual for several Saturdays and on this Saturday, he left the truck unlock. After several hours as dusk begin to fall, the light from the trunk begin to glow.

As the glow pulled me forward, I opened the truck and took the envelops. I walked backed to Ardell’s Shop and place the envelop in the Dell’s car. As soon as I entered the shop, she insisted that, I accompany her and Harry (boyfriend?) to the Beach. When we arrived at the beach, I was so drunk, Harry had to put me to bed. Recovering from my hang over, angry because I without my boys and something is disturbing my dream, I realize I was hearing sex. My loins pulsating, wake up sexing, I have a tent. I knew I was in heaven. My eyes begin to scan the room look for the sound, I had to see the sound. I must see that sound, finally, a four-by-eight wooden board with a defected exposing knot. My eyes fell upon the sound sight and smell of wonder, as I discovered a man performing cunnilingus in a silhouette glow of the Atlantic Ocean.

I witness and experience the art of pleasing. My every waking hour was spent at the knot. Learning the art of control, he taught me/she how to love. He demonstrated every movement with precision while looking into her eyes demanding his attention. We experienced the romantic outer body experience. I was embraced in their ecstasy, I experienced their passion, my loins fought to explode with them. While refusing to obey my body demand, I heard a voice (quietly) “now, now with me” “COME!”. She creamed, screamed and he…… but I ……………

After a weekend of my greatest opportunity, I could not wait to get back to the farm and give a relay to the gang about my weekend experience at the beach. Instead of a homecoming celebration we were confronted with the possibility of a homegoing. Pappy was coming to get me and take me to Newport News, VA. Where in the hell was Newport News Virginia? Damm, I heard of Virginia, only Richmond and Williamsburg, but Newport News? I had not been this mad since Pappy whipped my azz for shooting his double barrel shot gun, blowing out the back seat. Here I was getting ready to be uprooted from my paradise. TO NO man’s land !!, I knew nothing about VIRGINIA!! Why Newport News? So many questions.

Grand Ma was sick, over nite she turns for the worst. I heard them talking about what was going to happen to me. Where was the papers? Pappy and all the New York crew were coming. Who was going to protect me now? I learned everything from Grand Ma, she taught me how to fish, make a coconut cake, crochet and a thousand other things. What was I gonna do? I left, could not take it anymore.

Death, moving, I went to school, with uncertainty through-out the day. Bobby, & Tookie my best friends met at our usual spot and I poured out my heart. Bobby started to pray, forth pacing back and forth, without skipping a beat he said I got it and I wanted to slap him.

Bobby introduced me to Gloria and her Nerdy brother, Louis. Gloria and Louis were the new family that brought the old Johnson/shared cropped estate. Word was that they were rich. Everything brand new, well dressed, and Gloria let it be known that she was smart. There were some teacher children we had to compete with in the realm of intelligence, Jennell, Rebecca, The Davis Boys, Donnell, now a new member Gloria.

I already let Gloria know I want to play with her, she acted prim and proper, so every time I get around her my nature would rise, getting hard. I just let it do its thing and act like nothing happen. I caught her looking at me.

After tell Gloria and Louis my problem, that’s hussy, replied “I though he knew everything” and walked away.

Later for you, Gloria.

Bobby tells me, “that’s why she doesn’t like you”, “because you disrespect her”.

“Screw her, I do not need her, I know somebody I can ask”. “Who”?

Mr. Bonaparte. Mr. Bonaparte was more than willing to tell us about Newport News and much more. During our lessons on Virginia, I found out Mr. “B” was teaching Pappy Mechanical Drawing at nite school, we thought he was seeing another woman. Here he was going to nite school and no one knew. Mama was shock when I told her, and I saw something different in her eyes. What was it that he had a hold on her with?

Arriving home from my last day at Spalding, I was greeted by my Mom and Aunt Della, running to my Mom, crying, I knew Grand Ma Estelle was dead. Uncontrollably, Della got me and carried me to Grand Ma’s death bed. Saying she had been waiting for you, asking for me all day. As soon as I walked into the room she said “BEN” in her strongest tone she could muster. Come her “Baby”. Pulling me into her bosom, whispering instructions into my ear reached under the cover and gave me this worn-out black leather notebook. I could not believe what she was telling me. “Do you understand, BEN, DO YOU UNDERSTAND. When I acknowledge I did, she smiled at me, closed her eyes and passed away.

After drawing every ounce of empathy, sympathy and all other pithy from many of the hundreds who came to show their respect, to a woman who demanded her presence among many. She was a patriotic, raised nine boys and two girls, giving her credentials, deserving of a homegoing celebration worthy of a Queen. OH! What a funeral, the finest of The Pee Dee was on display to see. People of all races who I never seen before, hugging me. (I hated that). Della out did herself, she had white flowing linen everywhere, tablecloths, cloth napkins, china, and Grand Ma fine crystal. You know it was a big deal, eating on Grand Ma china and the living room doors were wide open while Grand Ma’s body lay on exhibit for all to see. “I thought to myself, I do not want to be exposed out like that when I die”.

All my uncles from Virginia came. I met Uncle Roosevelt, who had one leg. We bonded from first sight, as if we known each other all our lives, (in fact he did know me, but I did not know him). HE wanted some shine, I got him a pint of our best shine, dat Lee’s daddy makes. Uncle Roosevelt told us all about Richmond and his stories kept us on the edge of our seats, as we tried to separate the truth from the lies. Uncle Roosevelt was a wealth of information, after a few swigs of shine, he told everything a lot of gossip on family and friends. Uncle and I established a bond so strong that he invited me to Richmond to stay with him and Uncle James, (another Uncle another story.)

Struck with grief and all the other turmoil’s, I gather my three friends, Bobby, Tookie and Lee and told them what Grand Ma Estelle had told and given me. First Lee said, “I believe him”, Bobby, “Ben I don’t know”, Tookie said, “ben stop lying”. This is when the SHYT really hits the fan. I gave Lee the notebook, “Holy SHYT”. “WHAT”, said Bobby. Lee gives the notebook to Bobby, Tookie, “WHAT”. (tookie cannot read).

The I told them about the envelops I took from the Cadillac trunk. After a jubilation of a week of a lifetime, we each took $10, packed the rest in our own secret hiding place. We said or creed, made a promise, renewed our faith and promised loyalty to each other until death do us part.

Walking back to the big house with the notebook in my pocket and my best friends in the whole wide world

My freedom allowed me to seek my passion, opportunities, some sinical and my Cadallic.

the end