The Bravest Girl I Know

When I first met Marisa Rodriguez I had no idea how impactful she would be to my life. At the time she was just a brown skinned, curly haired, skinny little girl who for some odd reason was fond of wearing overalls. She has since grown into an intelligent, practical, and nurturing mother, who is still oddly fond of wearing overalls. Her journey from the heartache of a single parent home, to a woman dedicated to raising her own child in a home brimming with love is one that gives me hope daily. Her sense for business and desire to sell a quality product (which genuinely aids those who purchase it) is something I’ve come to truly admire. Her lifelong battle with mental illness is a lesson I think we all could benefit from. She is someone I believe should be celebrated for rising above what most thought she would achieve.

Marisa is the sole owner of MariKai Naturals, a company she started first to support her adorable son Kai, and continues to operate with the goal of helping others. MariKai is a home based company that creates natural skin care products. She first began with soaps, but has since branched out into other products including natural hair oils, shampoo, conditioners, and skin balms. These products have been shown to give tangible results in improved skin health. Marisa first concocted the idea for skin care products when she noticed that store bought brands led to irritable rashes on Kai’s delicate newborn skin. Like any good mother she sought for an immediate solution to ease her son’s suffering. The remedy came from the natural healing prowess of a newly made mother. After some investigation she learned that her own breast milk could be mixed with other natural ingredients to create soothing soaps for her baby boy. This realization led to her desire to alleviate the suffering of others who too were plagued by the issues affecting her child. From then on she began studying other natural ingredients that would eventually make their way into the products she sells today. She began small; the turbulence of raising a child and balancing a business a daunting task at first. These days her business has expanded exponentially with her shipping out over 3,000 orders just last year.

Though before she was an entrepreneur, or even a mother she was my friend. It was through the lens of our friendship that I witnessed the burdens she carried. Perhaps due the physical absence of her father Marisa’s mother attempted to fill their home with what she thought was love. This love often came down on the young Marisa with an overbearing weight. Her mother left her with little freedom to do much other than attend church (her mother was a devout Christian) and indulge in book after book. What I remember most fondly about Marisa in youth was her imagination, which I suspect came from all the novels she read. While not intentional this form of love created a smothering environment for the girl. She was always expected to stay safe, and do exactly what she was told; her own will and identity were being stifled. I noticed early on this had an adverse effect on my friend which cultivated a desire for freedom within her. Gradually this led to a slew of mental health issues, which she has been institutionalized for and still battles with today.

I recall several periods in our friendship where I couldn’t contact her, because she had gone to seek treatment. As arduous as it was, she knew that she needed help, and was determined to get it. The girl I knew would return weeks later, a little wiser, a little healthier. Watching the gradual improvement of her mental state taught me that mental health is a continual battle. Treatment only worked when one was actively attempting to improve. To see her so fervently seek help for the issues that haunted her mind was inspiring to me, especially since mental health carries such a large stigma in our communities. She was the first person I knew who sought guidance in her journey to heal.

Amidst fighting internal battles the young girl was besieged by forces far beyond her control. At some point her mother became unable to support their family financially, even with the addition of a new stepfather. For a time the friend I met in youth was without a home. It was some time later that I learned that her family was forced to take refuge in the home of her aging and ailing grandmother. When that option was exhausted the girl was given the choice to leave everything behind to translocate states to live with the father who had up until now had been absent. She packed what little she had left, gathered her courage, and went on to her father’s home. This transition was not an easy one for the girl, but she attempted her best to assimilate herself into the new family her father had built without her. She found herself forging genuine bonds with her stepmother and siblings while always finding herself at odds with her father; The care he showed in raising her siblings never quite offered to her. This emotional disconnect reignited many of the internal issues she had struggled with as a young child. Still the girl persevered through the emotional turmoil, soon finding an outlet in sports. Marisa joined the track team in high school. The sport granted her a way to chase the freedom she so desired in her childhood, and more importantly it granted her a place to belong. Her team was encouraging and supportive in ways her father never attempted to be. It was with them she found a true home in an unfamiliar state.

High School was a fleeting moment of peace in the girl's tumultuous life; adulthood held more challenges for her however. When she was first able she left her father’s home, finally escaping the ever present feeling of being a burden in his new life. While there was freedom in that action, it came with great consequence. She soon became aware of how costly it was to support oneself. The girl who had only just finished school dove headfirst into the harsh working world of adults. Since then I have witnessed her conquer hurdle after hurdle relentlessly, ranging from homelessness again, to job loss, to abusive relationships. Even a moment which seemed her lowest was rebounded gracefully.

Kai, as adorable as he is, was not a planned child. The then 19 year old Marisa found herself pregnant by her boyfriend at the time, who himself was only 20. In my eyes two children were having a child, and neither were prepared for what that meant. For the boy a child meant he would have to mature and step into the role of a father (something we later learned he was incapable of doing). For Marisa it first meant confronting her religious family and facing their wrathful judgement. It more importantly meant she was no longer living solely for herself. I thought it would take time for her to learn this lesson, but much to my surprise she was more than prepared for motherhood. Though Kai’s father was not able to properly assume the role of father nor spouse Marisa did not let that deter her from providing a quality home for her child. It is a wonder to see her strive daily for the prosperity of her small family. The young Kai may not know it quite yet, but he could not have asked for a better mother. Through motherhood I have seen Marisa blossom into the benevolent entity she was born to be. I think in some ways she found the love in Kai that she had lacked for much of her life.

The ability to endure all these hardships and to not only survive, but flourish is why I admire Marisa. I did not write this to highlight the tragedies of her life, but to highlight how a brown skinned, curly haired, skinny little girl overcame each and every obstacle thrown at her. Through knowing her I’ve learned what true resilience is. She is truly the bravest girl I know.