the bigger picture

"Oh look a painting." I say to myself sarcastically knowing damn well that I am in an art museum and I am surrounded by paintings. Why am I even here? I don't even like art. Or museums. I just found that brochure about the opening of the museum yesterday morning and somehow decided to check it out. I guess I have nothing better to do anyway during my vacation week.

As I am walking from painting to painting I suddenly stop at a tremendously large picture. It is mainly blue. We have dark blue on the bottom, followed by ocean blue and topped off with light blue and white. It is an ocean. Several painting techniques are putting the colors together to a masterpiece of water. Different structures like those of a sponge, a used, tiny paintbrush or a smooth and big one are getting more and more obvious the more focused you look at it.

Without moving my head I looked up to see what else is on the picture. Sadly I got disappointed. On the right hand side, really close to the edge, you see a tiny boat. It is so small compared to the whole picture that you are really questioning its existence. Why would you put a tiny not even really noticeable boat on a dominant blue painting? Why not make it bigger and give it more relevance? Why not leaving it out completely to avoid confusions?

As I keep looking at it I start to question why I keep looking at it. It feels as if there is something that draws me to the big random blue painting. But why? I don't even like the ocean, or boats, or the color blue. Nor did I make the decision to go here. I mean technically I did - I just don't know how and why. And now I am standing here full of questions about decisions I made or not made. And why am I still looking at the picture?!!

I start thinking about the multiple times that we humans just zoom out. We just stare at one point but don't comprehend anything that is happening. Our brain just goes on standby for a few seconds. Everybody knows that feeling when you are listening to a conversation but then look and focus on something else and just zoom out. The person can yell at you or ask you questions and all you hear is - well pretty much nothing. And then we all "wake up" and say "huh?". Why does that happen? Why are we going on standby for a few seconds every now and then? Where is our brain going?

We all like to call it "day dreaming" but are we really dreaming? We cant control our dreams at night - we all know that. So why am I controlling my thoughts right now, while looking at that picture totally zoomed out? As if my brain is not present right now. I can think but I cant make decisions for my body. I am just starring. I am present but I am also in a whole different world.

Finally. A movement. I am turning my head. I am shaking my shoulders. I keep walking. Why? Well don't ask me but I think I just woke up from my day-dreaming-nap.

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"Hey, your guy just looked at that painting for 5 minutes straight. You have to learn to make it more realistic if you want to stay at the control table!"

"I am sorry, I just really needed to go to the bathroom."

"Well, better do that when your human is sleeping or dead or otherwise you will loose privileges."

- We might daydream, our brain just might take a break, or we all life in a simulation that is controlled by others .. we will never know so we might as well look at the painting.