Taegong: Takes One To Know One

Gong-gi injected two white pills washed down with cold coffee. Stretching the soles of his feet, he transferred the weight between each leg. It was as if somebody had poured boiling water on his legs. As he gritted his teeth, he massaged his body. His head felt like the heaviest part of his body. Every movement had all of a sudden became a struggle. Suppressing his urge to yell, he leaned against the mirror and glided to the floor.

Not even paracetamol or caffeine could ease Gong-gi’s grinding headache.

The entire album (including b-sides and bonus tracks), and all the dance routines had been memorised. The record label people had told him that everything was ready. The studio sessions and gigs had been booked. Parts of their performances including their rehearsals would be used for the video album that would accompany the main release. There were many ways to enjoy music; streaming, MP3s, CDs, vinyls, cassettes and through film. No doubt Flo would be doing her best to get Taegong’s first record available in every format. The share he threw at Aldo Benz had created more buzz than anybody could have expected.

As tempting as it was to complain about the busy schedule, and problematic management, he remembered how lucky he was to be there. He thought of all the idols and wannabes that could have been in his place. Then his thoughts drifted further to the people in the north who did not know the joys of love, happiness and music. Ones in the north only knew hunger, survival and a fat man who called himself God.

After Gong-gi had sabotaged the interview with Aldo Benz, numerous women, including former prostitutes came forward. They all confirmed something that Gong-gi suspected all along: he had a small dick. Aldo Benz was sacked from his news show and his wife was filing for divorce. It was nice to know that he still had fans that remembered him from his VALENTINE COOKIE days. He looked at Taeyang still snoring his little head off and thought what a lovely guy. Taeyang wasn’t so bad, he would be lying if he said he didn’t have fun with him. All the singing and dancing made him feel nostalgic, even though he couldn’t do the splits anymore.

To be back in Korea was a relief to say the least. Rome was a gorgeous city, from what he saw of it anyway. He had never imagined he would be carrying a coffee past ruins that had outlived hundreds of generations. Like many other cities, Gong-gi would never get the chance to enjoy it at work. He thought to himself that at least he got to see the Mediterranean delights on old cruises.

All the thoughts running through his mind was a distraction. In order to keep is rhythm, Gong-gi needed a clear mind. VALENTINE COOKIE’s choreographer gave him yoga sessions for breakfast, aerobics for lunch, and zen for dinner. Instead, Gong-gi and Taeyang had energetic Zumba for breakfast, ferocious Jive for lunch and a raunchy Paso Doble dinner.

“You did a good job with that interview,” Taeyang said, smiling. His teeth were brighter than the bulbs in the studio. The interview was going to be something people would talk about for years. They both knew it.

“Yes!” Gong-gi didn’t know to cope with his sudden fascination of Taeyang’s teeth. The whiteness made his mind travel to winter wonderlands, countless clouds and ice cream. Before they finished their final practise run, Flo Glitz marched to the centre of the studio.

“Aww, aren’t you two cute together?” Daydreaming came to a sudden halt to Flo’s grating voice. “Have you heard what your wife has done?”

“No?” Gong-gi gasped. “Is she okay?”

”Of course she is,” Flo said, whipping her hair back. “Why wouldn’t she be?”

”It’s just I haven’t heard from her in a while.”

”I don’t know why you can’t just forget about her.”

“Madam!” Taeyang jumped in between them with his hands in the air. “There’s something you need to understand. Yes, Gong-gi got his fame back. Yes, Gong-gi is going to top the charts again. But he’s also lost his wife, home and freedom all in one night.”

”She’s sold the house!” Flo announced, pulling a grey flip phone from her denim coat. “Sold it to me!”

”That’s my phone!” Gong-gi roared. His eyes widened as he reached out to retrieve it. Flo buried it back in her pocket. “What have you done to her?”

Flo whacked his shoulders with her arms. “Gong-gi, my dear, who do you think I am? A murderer? Mini Rose has moved in with her new boyfriend, and dumped your girls at their grandparents. She had this planned. Mini Rose was gonna leave you anyway. We just made it easer for her.”

“Maybe you’re not the right person to tell him this,” Taeyang hugged Gong-gi as his eyes darted at Flo. “Mini Rose should tell him this herself.”

”I’m the boss. Whatever I say is law!”

Gong-gi felt Taeyang’s body quiver at Flo’s response. “My father defected from North Korea. What you said, reminds me of all the nightmares he shared with me.”

”Did you...” Flo trembled as her mouth dropped. Her face had gone pale. “Did you just compare me to that dictator?”

Taeyang failed to hesitate. “Yes! Gong-gi has already cancelled one person, we don’t you to be the next one.”

”Certainly takes one to know one,” Flo muttered under her breath. “I suppose I’ve been too harsh on you. It’s just I could never stand Mini Rose, and she’s exploiting you, Gong-Gi...she really is. I mean have you heard her new song?”

Gong-Gi shook his head. “She has a new song?”

”Yes! And a music video to go with it. On one hand, it’s good that it gives us attention, but on the other hand, I hate how she’s relying on us to boost her flopping solo career.”

”Wow!” Taeyang twirled, stamping his foot, imitating the dance moves of Gong-gi. “You really let your jealously wind you up. If you want to keep your artists and staff, I advise that you learn to treat us better.” Just as Flo was about to speak, Taeyang raised his hand. “I know what you’re going to say. You’re young and should accept and appreciate every opportunity that comes your way. But I think this is exploitation at it’s finest.”

”I’ll let the video speak for itself!”

”Where is that?” Gong-gi asked as he recognised nothing about the rain-ridden street other than his wife in a wedding dress. “She’s crying!” Even though he knew it was just a music video, seeing his wife cry pulled his heart strings. The ambient choirs chanted over a symphonic orchestra. Mini Rose lifted her veil as the distorted bass guitar kicked in. The music video was simple. Mini Rose was walking down an empty street. Her wedding dress soaked through puddles and rainfall. The lyrics made it clear that it was about Gong-gi.

Taeyang took a step back and gasped in amazement. “The production is sick on this sick!”

I gave you my all, I made you a home.

All I ever took from you was your name.

So tell me why, you’ve got no backbone?

Am I really the one to blame?

Happily ever after is no more. (RIP)

Here we go again. (Oh no!)

Misery forever more. (Oh!)

I used to have nightmares about this.

Now it’s come true. Can’t sleep no more.

I’m scared of what I’ll dream next.

What hurts the most is that you

Never even said goodbye.

Am I just not good enough to kiss?

Was everything we did together for nothing?

Can’t believe this is the end of a beautiful love.

I submitted to you, I made myself your loving wife.

Babe, can you least tell me what’s going on?

I thought you said you had the time of your life?

Have I been wrong all this time? (So wrong!)

Happily ever after is no more. (RIP)

Here we go again. (Oh no!)

Misery forever more. (Oh!)

I used to have nightmares about this.

Now it’s come true. Can’t sleep no more.

I’m scared of what I’ll dream next.

What hurts the most is that you

Never even said goodbye.

Am I just not good enough to kiss?

Was everything we did together for nothing?

Can’t believe this is the end of a beautiful love.

Bet you don’t didn’t think about the kids.

Bet you never thought about our parents.

And all our friends, colleagues and everyone we know.

How the hell am I suppose to explain this to them?

Empty sheets. No letter. No note.

Not even a goodbye or thank you.

You’ve damaged me for life now.

Time to move on baby.

Can’t believe this is the end of a beautiful love.