T.V.

There are 285 million television sets right now in American households. That’s a whopping 233 million more than in 1960. In the golden era of streaming, it has become too easy to sit in front of the t.v. for a few relaxing hours in the evening or to plop your children in front of it and let the electronic babysitter do all the work. Many of us simply keep the television on for company as we cook or get ready for work. While for others, the act of watching t.v. has become a hobby. For me, a passion. As well therapy, medicine, and a connection to the world.

I grew up in the mid west in the mid 1990s. As the youngest child of working immigrant parents, I spent most of my summer vacations at home by myself with no one but my barbie dolls and the family television to keep me company. I learned that after the morning cartoons were over and the old man with glasses started his cooking show, my dad would come home from work. I learned that after the evening looney tunes reruns were over it was time for bed. I used the t.v guide that, in those days, would slowly scroll by, to schedule my day around my favorite t.v. shows. I lived and breathed t.v. As I got a little older it was through watching Barney and friends and Sesame Street that I learned my ABCs and 123s. I also learned English as a second language from it. I learned English so well that by first grade, my father, in his thick and broken English, fought to put me into an all English speaking class. Up until that point I had been in bilingual school. The principal had threatened to put me back into bilingual class if I couldn’t keep up with the rest of the class. Well, we sure showed him, I would later tell my dad as I was not only allowed to stay in an all English speaking class but I had made the honor roll numerous times throughout school years.

Watching television was also the glue that bonded my broken family. Some of my earliest memories are of my dad letting me stay up til the incredibly late hour of 9:30 p.m. on Sunday to watch the three stooges with him. You don’t need to be fluent in English to know that a poke in the eye and a wack on the nose are funny. My brother and I are ten years apart. Not being close in age meant that while I wanted my big brother to play with me he, a teenager now, would rather spend his days chasing girls and hanging out with friends. I have the Tom and Jerry cartoons to thank. They were the only thing he would sit and watch with me. We both would laugh as Jerry got the best of Tom episode after episode. My sister and I have a similar story. She would end up being the moody rebellious teenger that runs away from home and gets pregnant one day. But, every once in a while, while she was still my parents daughter and my older sister, she would sit and watch t.v. with me. She never liked cartoons and so at the tender age of 8, I was introduced to the world of daytime t.v and bad soaps. I can still hear the cheering if I try. JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! But my favorite time out of all of them was when in between the fights with my dad, my workaholic mom would slow down a bit for some family time. She preferred the old black and white Cantiflas movies, or the more sappy Pedro Infante ones. I liked the horror movies that had my mom crying out in terror and disgust. They had me watching through slits in my fingers. To this day I am a hard core horror movie buff.

When I hit my teen years I discovered my penchant for the supernatural and sci-fi. Thanks X-Files and Charmed. I was the moody heroine of my own t.v.show. The misfit that was misunderstood. I found solace in t.v. shows like Angel. The hodgepodge of heroes would band together and save the world every week. I daydreamed a lot in those days of one day belonging to a group of friends like that. And no, I don’t think it's weird I dropped out of violin class because it interfered with me watching Sailor Moon. One day in my junior year of high school while flipping through channels, I settled on a t.v. show called Law and Order. After the first episode I felt the little kernel that would become a true crime obsession bloom. I recall the Friday night stand up comedy specials on Comedy Central and the tears of laughter that would be streaming down my face. Then, pregnant at the too young age of 20 my boyfriend and I got married. The trend of bonding over television continued with my husband. We spent our honeymoon watching the season premiere of Nip/Tuck. I convinced him to binge watch the series so we would both be ready for it. After the baby was born, Seth Rogan and Kathrine Hegel starred in a little movie called Knocked Up. The parallels between the movie and our predicament did not go unnoticed. It quickly became my husband’s and my favorite movie. We watched it anytime HBO ran it. We also spent a fun nights theorizing over the end to his favorite t.v. show, The Shield. I was convinced Vic Mackie would end up dead. My ex thought jail was the only option.

Picking apart t.v shows and movies, and talking about them with others was something I was beginning to like. It wasn’t just water cooler talk to me. “Watching anything good on T.V?” became the icebreaker I lead with in any social situation I'm forced to endure. The mammoth T.V. show Game of Thrones only fed the high. Only minutes after the show ended memes for the latest episode would begin popping up all over the internet adding to the fun of watching the show. Monday mornings after each new episode sucked a little less as they were spent picking apart the show and taking bets on who would die next. I never felt closer to my fellow Americans than when the collective internet groaned and rolled its eyes at that horrible series finale. Friday movie nights with my daughter became a tradition I carried on from my dad. Chinese food and a beloved Pixar movie was standard. Or we would load up with overpriced concession snacks and buttered popcorn and head to our seats at the local movie theater. We got there early enough to see the previews. We would nudge each other in silent confirmation as a preview came on that we had to come see on the big screen.

With the rise of YouTube, movies/t.v. show review channels began to pop up. After watching a movie I hopped on the internet looking for videos that reaffirmed my opinions of the movie or I would argue my opinion in the comments to a stranger at 2 o’clock in the morning. Eventually I started my own movie review channel, because by god if these people can quit their job and do this as a living then so can I! I have yet to actually load a review on my channel though.

Then the 2020 pandemic rolled around. It became a living hell for most. The television could not be turned on without depressing news stories or polarizing politics. A good TV show now, more than ever it seemed, proved to be the only source of escapism to not just those stuck in quarantine but to myself as well. A close friend was diagnosed with cancer. I ate, slept and breathed t.v. Thank God for the invention of portable devices. I always had my phone streaming some show or another. I had to smother the feelings of helplessness a stage four diagnosis brings when it crept in during the quiet moments. The Marvel superhero movies were my favorite to sleep to. Then in the spring of 2020 my father’s health declined at a rapid pace. After an evening fraught tending to his needs, I decompressed in front of the t.v. Any t.v. show would do. My friends and I would text each other recommendations and reviews. It was a small way of keeping in touch during quarantine and a much needed distraction from the perils of everyday life. The last few days of my father’s life were spent sleeping at home. My siblings and I took turns watching over him. When it was my turn to sit on the uncomfortable recliner, I turned on the t.v. in his room. I gave it to him as a present and it became his window to the world after he was bedridden. Though it was on mute, the normalcy of having the t.v. on was a distraction to me as I sat vigil over my Dad.

Last year wasn’t the first time I turned to t.v as a form of comfort. After my divorce I spent many lonely evenings on the couch with a cat on my lap and a remote in my hand. Supernatural was then on its 6th season. It was the ghost hunting that caught my attention, but it was the heart of the show that kept me watching. Surely if the Winchester brothers could make it through literal hell and back, then I would find a way to be a single, working mother who is also putting herself through school. I’m back in the dating pool at the moment. Every dating site I join all wants to know the same thing. What are my hobbies? In the beginning I strived to be an everyman’s girl. I can learn to like hikes! Insert something witty about sports! CARS! The faster the better. Eventually after many bad dates I learned to be honest about who I really am.

“Couch potato seeking binge watching partner.”

To this day my evenings, no matter what else is going on in my life, look very much the same. Me, the couch, and the t.v.