Solitude

Solitude is a word that is rich in meaning, is empathetic and rolls off the tongue, almost melodious and mellifluous in sound bytes. However for a such beautiful sounding word the meaning can be quite harsh. Solitude bears the scars of the hermit, the anti-social, the remote individual residing amidst a busy group of people.

Alone but not necessarily lonely, the solitary stand apart from society. The solitary favours no one with their company.

The monk enjoying living the cloistered life is quite different to those residing in aged care or indeed those enduring an existence overshadowed by for example schizophrenia ; living the life of the solitary can take on very different aspects.

From a purely romantic point of view the monk or the recluse plunges fully into the cerebral life of the historian; the pray-er; the musician; the winemaker; exploring and enjoying the benefits to the fullest. No wife,no children, no noise; no repairs and maintenance, no having to earn money to pay feudal taxes, so basically other than a bit of self-flagellation — a life lived fully in self-realisation. This could conceivably be considered a life of solitude; lived fully and richly.

On the other hand the person who takes himself out of human contact through mental illness must suffer incredibly by depriving themselves or being deprived of the company of others; all the while enduring inner voices competing for attention. I can see that this person would desire solitude immensely. What a relief for this person when those insistent voices cease their whispering, or indeed stop competing with noises of the world and some quietness can be enjoyed. This life of solitude appears to have no choice associated with it.

Then there is the pain associated with the aging process. The older person (likely to be a member of our elderly parents generation) appears to be unable to care for themselves to the same extent they once did. Think of the life experiences of today’s aged person who has probably lived a productive life, been a part of a large family, and then entered the workforce in their teens. An example of a person such as this could be a nurse where they moved away from the discipline of the family to being a part of a large, still disciplined group. Marriage would inevitably be followed by child bearing and given the era I am discussing; these women did not have access to the contraceptive pill so there was usually the arrival of a large number of children. And, as their life cycle extends these once busy, caring, contributing people have moved from an extremely energetic lifestyle to a static one where they themselves now require said care.

They soldier on endeavouring to live their lives as always but fragility stalks their steps and eventually their worn out, generous bodies succumb to bone tiredness, exhaustion and then there is the inevitable talk of them needing a nursing home where they will be under an umbrella of care. They may even find themselves in a ward of their peers where the sharpest mind finds itself, of necessity, hemmed into a solitary world. No one to talk to because possibly illness in the form senility, could cause diminished contact with those around them. This form of living would take on the hallmarks of the solitary, living an enforced life of solitude within the environment of one’s peers and being forced to find solace within oneself.

I imagine that the thought of this type of solitude would be so hard to bear if one were of a frail nature. Especially if one was used to such a busy and practical life that the very action of having to give up one’s independence causes huge anguish and pain. The unwanted solitude of the aged must be very hard to bear, whilst those actually treading the path of dementia would suffer pain of a different nature as they become aware that their facility to keep a grasp on their faculties is slipping.

And here’s a question; how would one feel if while existing within this solitary existence, the pure enjoyment of reading was severely curtailed because of the sheer physicality of aged, fading eyes seemingly bent on removing the final vestiges of mindful interaction?

Frightening as it is to contemplate, this future awaits us; if indeed we are lucky enough to attain the great ages of our somewhat healthier forbears. Those who have gone before us to pave our way; those who have loved us, provided for us and helped us to achieve.

Respect is a wonderful, active word and when used by our generation towards the previous generations will go a long way to further protect and care for them. As indeed they deserve.

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a.a.hardy

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