Skate Date

The morning of my first official date with Zane I woke up to bad omens. As soon as my alarm went off, I went to rub the sleep from my eyes and got jolted awake as something inside my eye scratched across my cornea. I felt my eye water profusely, already knowing that it would be bloodshot. I tried flushing it with water, and while it helped ease the discomfort, it did not remove the foreign object; occasionally I still felt it scratching around in there as I got ready. This is not an uncommon experience for me, as I have what one optometrist at Walmart described as a 'lazy blink.' My eyelids don't meet when I blink or close my eyes - unless I squeeze them tightly shut, so it's not uncommon for cat hair and dander to get in my eyes while I sleep.

The second bad omen was the giant white head on my jawline. I had enough stubble after six days of not shaving to conceal it a little, but I couldn't resist the urge to pop it, after which it erupted like Mt. Vesuvius. I spent a few minutes carefully squeezing out all of the blood and pus until the protuberance was gone. I used a little bit of concealer to mask it even more.

The third bad omen was that I had dropped a decent amount of money on a shirt from an up-and-coming designer named Philippe Uter specifically for this date; I'd bought the shirt the week beforehand, but the one I wanted was out of stock and after much deliberation I decided to go with the black version instead of the coral one I'd wanted. According to the tracking, it was still in Los Angeles on Friday night, so I figured it wouldn't arrive until Monday - the day after my date - at the earliest. I was pissed when I got up on Saturday to learn that the shirt had in fact been delivered to my PO box that morning, but that I wouldn't be able to get it til Monday. What really upset me was that I'd woken up at 11:30 AM with a full bladder; I'd considered checking my informed delivery, but figured that being on my phone would just prevent me from falling back asleep and for naught, so I didn't. If I'd just listened to my gut, I would've had a half hour to go pick up my shirt.

As I was getting ready, I decided on black eyeliner instead of white, as well as thick mascara and blue eyeshadow. I still hadn't decided on an outfit, but I'd gotten four new pairs of Givenchy earrings and picked the blue diamonds since they would match my Givenchy necklace, my eyes, and my eyeshadow. Earlier in the week, I'd taken the plunge and chopped off my hair; I'd gone from shoulder length to Demi Moore in Ghost - one of my favorite movies. In the end, I picked my black Lagerfeld jeans with silver studs, my blue Christian Lacroix shirt - short-sleeved because Zane had warned me that it got hot in the roller rink - and my Lagerfeld leather jacket. I topped it off with a pair of Armani aviator sunglasses.

I wanted some coffee - I am a crab ass if I don't have caffeine - but I didn't want to risk upsetting my delicate stomach, so I resisted the urge. I was already nervous - not for the actual date, because it was already pretty apparent that Zane liked me, but because I hadn't rollerbladed since I was ten or eleven and I have terrible balance as it is. The last thing I wanted to do was embarrass myself in front of a room of strangers; I certainly didn't want to fall and knock a tooth out or seriously injure myself, either.

Zane got to my place as I was taking my Zoloft. It's not unusual for me to skip my medication on my days off since I sleep as late as I possibly can, but I didn't want to risk having an anxiety attack.

As I got into his car, Zane smiled at me. "Did you chop all your hair off!?" he exclaimed. Obviously, I knew that that was a rhetorical question, but I nodded anyway. "It looks good. You look really cute."

"Thanks," I replied, buckling my seat belt.

While I had gone for opulent glamour, Zane had gone for hipster casual. He wore green pants that accentuated his ass and his bulge, a striped hoodie under a black sherpa jacket, and a gray beanie. He looked good in it. I probably should have dressed down for such a casual date, but the rare occassions I go out are my only opportunity to wear my labels with pride, so I'd decided to embrace it; Zane already knew that I was a label queen.

On the way to the roller rink, Zane told me that the following day was his last day at work. The factory was closing permanently, but he was allowed the come in on the final day - the only one scheduled to work. He was on the market for a new job, but he would get severance pay and was entitled to unemployment in the interim.

We got there as they were opening. Zane explained that he and his friends normally went on Saturday nights when it was the adult skate, but since I worked until late on Fridays and Saturdays, we'd had to go when there would children there. Neither of us were particularly fond of children, but he really liked skating, and it would be selfish of me to make him only do things that I wanted to do: shopping and watching movies.

It was cold outside as we waited for the line inside to clear up so that we could go in to get admission. Zane brought his own skates, but he'd assured me that we could rent a pair for me. As we sat down to put our skates on I realized that I had no idea how to put them on and couldn't help but notice that they didn't have brakes. He'd gotten me in-line skates instead of the roller blades that I had owned as a kid; not that it mattered, since I was so out of practice and my balance had only worsened with age.

He helped me put them on, a cute gesture that fed into my diva ego. As I stood up, I felt myself wobbling and immediately my heart started racing. I didn't want to fall; I was already nervous because I was in a room full of strangers. If we had been there alone, I'd have been slightly less nervous, but it wasn't his fault that I'm a freak and get overstimulated by too many people around.

"It's warm in here," Zane said as he pulled his hoodie off to reveal the dark gray tank top underneath.

I had to admit that it looked good on him, and I longed for the days when I had been thin enough to wear a tank top in public without a second thought or shame.

Zane expertly stepped off of the carpeting and onto the wooden rink, smiling at me. "Come on!" he said, excited to start.

"I'm scared!" I confessed, feeling the tenseness in my entire body. What had I been thinking when I'd agreed to this? My entire family was notorious for having terrible balance. "I'm going to die!"

"You're not going to die, I promise," he assured me, holding out his hand.

I didn't want to do this, really didn't want to now that I was staring it in the face, but I didn't want to ruin the date; Zane clearly wanted to spend time with me and was trying to usher me into his life by sharing one of his favorite hobbies with me. It didn't necessarily mean that we were incompatible because my hobbies lean more toward indoor activities.

Against my better judgment, I slowly crept onto the rink, immediately almost losing my balance. Zane snickered, but held me tightly, helping me right myself. "Want me to hold onto you?" he asked.

"You can't. The sign on the door said no PDA; there are children here," I replied, clinging to carpeted wall for dear life.

"That's it, use the wall."

"The wall runs out in a little bit though," I pointed out, panic creeping into my voice.

Zane looked ahead to see that there was a good chunk of the rink that was just open air. "Want to go to the other side where there's more wall and start there?"

"It isn't really going to make a difference," I realized aloud; no matter what, I'd have to deal without a wall before long.

I took a few steps and almost fell again. Accepting my fate, I claimed a death grip on his arm. I figured it didn't necessarily count as PDA since it wasn't affection so much as me holding onto him for dear life.

We went a few feet before I gave up. Any time I tried to move, I started to lose my balance. "You have to bed your knees," Zane coaxed, watching me patiently.

"I am!" I cried, wishing that I had kept up with skating so that this could be a fun date for him.

"You have to move your feet to the sides a little."

I tried, and almost fell again. "I'm just going to hold onto you!" I exclaimed, grabbing his hand and squeezing it tightly like a woman in labor.

We went around the rink once or twice before he took me back to the bench on the side. "Are you having fun?" he asked, laughing.

"Loads," I replied, drily, grateful to be safe.

"We don't have to stay long, if you don't want to."

"No, you like doing this. You spent money on it. You just might end up skating on your own more than you'll skate with me."

"That's okay. As long as you try."

"I deserve a book for this," I said, pouting like a child.

"What?"

The music was loud, so I had to lean in to closely so that he could hear me. "I said, 'I deserve a book for this.' I'm going waaaaaay out of my comfort zone and I'm afraid I'll die."

"Do you want to go to Barnes & Noble after this?"

I immediately perked up and nodded enthusiastically. I love bookstores - especially Barnes & Noble, but the nearest stores were in Saginaw and Midland, which I never went to, so I never got to go. We were in Midland, though, I didn't know where in Midland, in relation to the very small portion that I was familiar with. It didn't matter though, because Zane was driving.

"What else would you like to do today?" he asked. "We're getting dinner at some point."

"I normally don't eat until I'm heading home, that way if my stomach gets upset it isn't really an issue," I told him, wishing that I could be a normal person and not have to worry about my stomach betraying me.

"I figured we'd get food on the way home," he assured me.

"Okay. Other than that, I have to go grocery shopping when I get home. You can come with me if you want."

"I'd love to."

Zane left me to take a few laps around the rink; I sat there, enjoying the Ariana Grande song that was blaring over the loudspeaker. I watched as Zane effortlessly glided over the rink, uninhibited. Eventually, he turned around and started going backward. I really wished that I could do this for him, but the fear of falling and getting hurt was too great. I'd been like that as a kid, too: too afraid of getting hurt to venture out of my - admittedly small - comfort zone.

Before too long, he came back to check on me. "Paper Rings" by Taylor Swift started playing and I grinned.

"Now, you're excited," he laughed. "Ready to try again?"

I really wasn't, but I also knew that this was going to be the lamest date in history if I didn't at least try. Grudgingly, I got to my feet and latched onto him as he pulled me onto the rink. I locked up, staying as stiff as a statue. I figured that Zane knew what he was doing; if I just allowed him to pull me around, I was less likely to fall. I felt bad that I was lagging behind and started using the wall to propel myself forward a bit.

When the song ended, we sat back down. They were playing some skating game; I would just look like an idiot taking part. Zane went to get himself a drink and then came back. "Are you having fun?" he asked again. I shot him a look that said are you fucking kidding me? He laughed. "We can leave whenever you want to. I'm realizing that this was not a good date idea for you."

"I'm sorry," I said, ducking my head in shame.

I hadn't flat out told him no when he'd proposed the idea because somewhere deep inside, I'd believed just a tiny little bit that once I was back in skates it would come back to me - it didn't. I had figured that it would be just like riding a bike.

"Don't be sorry. I'm having fun."

"Are you?"

"It's cute how scared you are and how you're clinging to me."

"Well, at least one of us is having fun."

Zane went for a few more solo rounds before dragging me out with him again. As we were nearing the left curve at the end of the right side, the woman in front of us fell. I watched in slow motion as she hit the ground and her glasses and ear buds went flying. All I could think of was that I couldn't stop and I was going to hit her head or run her hair over. Thankfully, Zane brought us both to a stop before he leaned down to grab the woman's glasses. A man was kneeling beside her, asking her if she was okay, while a woman knelt on the other side, administering first aid. It didn't look good: there was blood pooling over her eye and dripping down onto the rink. I felt for her; that was what I had been most afraid of. I couldn't confirm it, but I was sure that she had smacked her head on the wooden floor at one point.

Once Zane got the glasses back to the woman, we sat down again. "That is exactly what I was afraid of," I said, hoping I wouldn't come across as self-centered or like I didn't care if the woman was okay.

"You are old," he teased, "if you fell, you would be really hurt. At least if the kids fall, their bones bend before they break and they'll be fine."

I swatted his arm as he laughed. "You're so mean to me!" I cried.

"I have to get you back for being so mean to me all the time," he replied with a devilish grin.

The next time he came back to check on me, he asked again if I was having fun. At that point, what little adrenaline that had boosted me up a little at first was gone; with no coffee to wake me up, I was ready for a nap. It didn't help that the eyeliner had gotten in my eye a little. If I could wash my makeup off and switch to my glasses it would have been better, but we were almost a half hour from my apartment, so I'd just have to suck it up.

We did another couple of rounds on the rink together, then he did another few, and then we left. As soon as I slid into my shoes, I felt my body relaxing. At last, I was safe from the wheels of death.

As we drove to the mall, I felt bad for being such a baby about it all. Zane was really trying, and he was being incredibly patient with me, so I decided to give him a little something as a thank you. I reached into his pants and started playing with his dick.

"You're gonna pull my dick out while I'm driving?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Why not?"

"We're almost to the mall."

"Plenty of time."

I knew that if we were to get pulled over or if anybody happened to see what was happening that we could get into big trouble, but a secret part of me liked the thrill. I wasn't comfortable showing Zane actual affection yet, but sexual affection was less awkward for me; at least there I knew what I was doing.

We went to Target first. I had grown up going to Target quite frequently and had been heartbroken when the one in the Bay City mall had closed. I made it a point to go every time I was in Midland, which honestly was never; the last time had been two years prior when I'd gone with a friend to see Mean Girls the Musical at the Midland Center for the Arts. There were plenty of things I wanted there, from a Gargoyles Demona figure to a live-action One Piece Luffy figure, to a Wicked Glinda mini figure with her bubble, but I was trying to behave, so I resisted the urge to buy anything.

We decided to cut through the mall to get to Barnes & Noble, and on the way, I spotted a toy store that looked pretty cool. I'm glad that Zane was okay with going there, because it was a blast from the past. Whoever owned the toy store knew exactly what they were doing: there were so many vintage action figures that I had grown up with, so many figures that I had had as a kid, giving me a rush of dopamine. I easily could have maxed out a credit card there, but once again, I forced myself to behave. I was shocked and delighted to find the original Beverly Hills, 90210 Brenda and Donna dolls; I had bought the Brenda doll just after Shannen Doherty had tragically passed away, but I didn't have any of the others.

Our last stop on the way to Barnes & Noble was what I could only describe as a nerd store. There were some Funko pops, but it was mostly Magic: the Gathering cards. I did get excited when I spotted a House of 1,000 Corpses board game; my mom and I loved that movie and had watched it countless times together. I thought about buying the game, but the $60 price tag helped me stick to my resolve.

Zane had promised to buy me a book since he hadn't bought me flowers, but I wasn't sure that I was going to hold him to it. Of course, I never said no to more books, but he had already spent money on the skating portion of the date and had promised me dinner; I knew that he was essentially unemployed and didn't want to take advantage of his kindness. We looked all over the store, but there wasn't anything there that I couldn't live without; I ended up leaving empty handed once again, but I was proud of myself for being able to resist the urge to spend money.

We decided to have dinner at a Chinese buffet; I love Chinese food more than pretty much anything else but hadn't had it in years since that would require actually leaving my apartment. I loaded up my plate with sweet and sour chicken, crab Rangoon, fried rice, and spring rolls, while Zane had some noodles and green beans. I stuck with just the one plate, wanting to ensure that I didn't overdo it and make myself sick. The food was good; reminding me just how much I love Chinese food, but by that point, I was bone tired, and we spent the majority of the meal in silence.

"You look like you're having the worst time," he pointed out, slurping on a noodle.

"I'm just really tired. It's been a long week and I didn't have any coffee this morning; I didn't want to risk upsetting my stomach," I explained.

"Well, when we get back to your place, we can take a nap. Or you can, I'd love to just cuddle you."

"I still have to go shopping," I pointed out, knowing that if I fell asleep, it might be several hours before I woke up again.

"Just a quick one."

I'd have been lying if I'd said that the idea of a quick cat nap was not extremely appealing to me.

Once we were back in his car and headed home, I decided to try to show my appreciation again by giving him road head. I got him hard before I took his cock out; he pulled his pants down around his ankles to make it easier for me. It was pitch black out by then and we were on back roads; I figured we were fine, but Zane was responsible driver and was too focused on the road to enjoy it, which was probably for the best. After a few minutes, he went soft and I gave up.

As soon as we were back at my apartment I changed into gray sweatpants and a thermal shirt. When I came out of my bathroom, Zane was laying on his stomach on my bed, his pants off, revealing his skimpy red briefs. I knew that things were going to get pretty steamy.

I crawled under the covers as Lestat came and laid on my chest. My cats knew my schedule pretty well and tended to be very clingy if I deviated from it. I lay there with my eyes closed, enjoying the softness of my bed and the warmth from Lestat and Zane. After a bit, Lestat went to eat, and I rolled onto my side, closing my eyes. Almost immediately, Zane put his arm around me and snuggled up close; his body heat felt amazing, especially after being so cold all day. If I wasn't worried about smudging my makeup and ruining my hair, I could have fallen asleep.

As we cuddled, Zane's hands explored my body. He started with rubbing my ass, which didn't turn me on so much as make me want to sleep even more, but then his hand snaked over my hip to my dick. I grew hard quickly, sleep fading as lust took over. Our clothes came off in a blur, and before I knew it, he was sucking me off. Honestly, I should have been giving him a blowjob, since he'd paid for everything, but I wasn't going to complain, especially since I rarely got head.

I came in his mouth, immediately exhausted. Zane leaned down to kiss me before he continued playing with my cock and running his hands up and down my naked hips. After a few minutes, I rolled over to be more comfortable, which gave him the perfect entry to the ass that he cherished so much. He stroked it, kissing and biting the cheeks. I could tell from his heavy breathing that he was getting turned on; I adjusted myself so that he could bury his face in it.

Zane ate me out for a good half hour before I made him stop. It was getting late and I needed to get a few groceries. I couldn't live without coffee and milk. While he went outside to start my car and scrape it off, I changed into a hoodie and my newest pair of pants, brown chinos from Amazon. I snuck a sip of coffee and practically moaned as I felt the chocolate milk tasting concoction slide down my throat. The caffeine entered my bloodstream quickly, bringing me back to life.

Normally, I'd have listened to the Wicked soundtracks and poorly belted out the songs, but Zane was in the car; I never sing in front of anyone - it's really that bad. The radio wasn't playing anything good, so I played Mariah Carey's Daydream album off of Spotify.

The first stop was Walmart. I'd recently learned that most of the groceries I bought were slightly cheaper at Walmart than at Meijer; it wasn't enough to be that big of a deal, but it gave me an excuse to add another stop of my weekly trek out of the house. The main draw to Walmart was that they had a better selection of books, plus the Stranger Things section in the CD/movie aisle. Meijer didn't even sell CDs or DVDs anymore, much to my chagrin. One of my favorite things about the grocery stores growing up was the wide selection of CDs and books; I remember going to Kmart and finding volume two of the Moulin Rouge! soundtrack. Toward the end of my sophomore year of high school, a friend and I had stayed after school to help our French teacher clean up her classroom; I'd rushed to Meijer to buy the Rent soundtrack with the money I'd earned.

As we passed the Valentine section, I stopped to fawn over a plush bouquet of Chucky and Tiffany from Bride of Chucky. "I've never had a Valentine before," I confessed.

"What? Really?"

"Yeah. I've never had a boyfriend, remember?"

"Well, maybe if you be nice to me, I'll be your Valentine this year," he said with an adorable grin.

It was a possibility, but I also didn't want to get too attached to him yet. Every time I allowed myself to get attached to a guy it went poorly for me. I much preferred to be aloof while the guy jumped through hoops to win my affection.

I grabbed the bare minimum - once again resisting my urge to splurge - and was happy with how low my total was compared to normal. Sure, I hadn't bought any Lean Cuisine or any real food items, just off-brand Pop-Tarts, but I had a fresh box of rice at home that would get me through the week just fine.

As we rushed back to the car, my stomach started to growl again. "I'm getting hungry," I said, sliding into the driver's seat, grateful that the car was still warm from the twenty-minute drive there. "Want to go to Burger King?"

"Sure," Zane replied, happy to go along with pretty much anything that I had planned.

"Are you hungry again? Do you want food?"

"Yeah, I can go for some food."

"My treat."

We pulled into Burger King and ordered our food; I got the Whopper meal - with cheese, and he got a Bacon and Swiss Royal Crispy. "Does this count as a second date since we're getting food again?" Zane asked.

"Do you want it to count as a second date?" I teased, sliding my change back into my wallet.

"I mean, it gets me one step closer to my goal..."

I had told him that I'd never bottomed before and that I would not bottom for him until we'd been on at least three dates. There was a joke about the alternative being him telling me that I have a pretty hole one hundred times, but we both knew that that wasn't serious.

"Your goal is to fuck me," I replied, rolling my eyes.

"You do have a cute butt and a pretty hole."

"You're that guy that's going to lay it on thick and then once I give in and allow myself to have feelings and let you fuck me, you're going to ghost me."

"I would never do that."

I could tell that Zane was definitely not that guy, but I couldn't help but air out my insecurities - in a joking manner.

I stopped at the bank to deposit my check before we went to Meijer. Zane helped himself to my fries and drink; normally I'm not okay with sharing drinks with people, but I figured if we could make out and he could eat my ass, it would be fine.

I quickly devoured my burger and did my Duo Lingo lesson for the day. It was almost eleven PM; if I missed the lesson, I'd risk ruining my almost eight-hundred-day Ukrainian streak.

I only had a few things to get at Meijer, but that didn't us from wandering the store, looking at all of the things that had become part of my routine: the toys, the books, the clothes. I reminded Zane that he had work the following day and he deflated.

"Shit! I have to work in the morning. That means I'm basically going to have to leave when we get back to your place."

I hadn't fully comprehended how late it was; I'd assumed that when we got back, we'd finish watching Wicked: For Good. I guess that was off the table now, but it was okay, because I could still salvage my routine of two episodes of Grey's Anatomy and four rounds of Dead By Daylight and possibly some Shadow of the Tomb Raider. I began to feel bad for keeping him out so late, but I could tell that he was having fun and wouldn't have wanted to leave anyway.

As soon as we were back at my place, I rushed inside to unlock my apartment door; I hated trying to do it with my arms full of groceries. When I got back to the car, I was surprised to see that Zane had everything in his arms. He handed me the milk and the lightest bag and carried the rest in for me. He'd used the remote start feature on his car so that it would be warmed up once we made our goodbyes.

I quickly put my groceries away before helping him find his phone. But then we started touching and kissing and I pushed him down on the bed, wanting to make sure that I made him cum before he left. I put him in my mouth again, but he wasn't hard yet. Quirking an eyebrow, I jerked him, feeling it grow hard in my hands before I sat on his face.

After a few minutes, he was rock hard. I got down to finish him off but wanted to do something else. I started massaging his hole with a finger, watching his face. He'd said earlier that anal was off the table for tonight because he hadn't prepped, but I figured that there couldn't be any harm in fingering him a little.

"Want a finger in there?" I asked, biting my lip.

"I mean, I'm not cleaned out, but...yeah..."

I quickly grabbed my lube and squirted some onto my finger before slipping in inside of him. As I started moving my finger, he gasped and started to moan, his breathing heavy. He stared at me through half-lidded eyes, panting.

"Ready for another finger?" I asked, massaging his prostate.

"Yes," he moaned.

I slid another finger in, feeling his hole stretch for me. I wasn't sure why I found it so hot, but I felt myself growing hard. He moaned louder as the two fingers worked inside of him.

After a couple of minutes, I asked him if he was ready for a third finger; he was. It had been quite a while since I'd been three fingers deep in a guy, but he took them like a champ, practically mewling like a kitten as I finger fucked him.

"Yeah?" I asked, wanting to know that he was okay with it.

"Yeah," he panted back, moaning.

When I pulled my fingers out to lube them up some more, he said that he wanted me to fuck him.

"Really?" I asked, surprised.

"I mean, you were just three fingers deep in me and nothing bad happened..."

"We can try..."

It had been probably a year and half since I'd had sex last, but I'd be lying if I said that I didn't want to fuck him. I lubed up my cock and gasped as it slid into him easily. He was on his back, legs open wide to allow me entry. I fucked him like this for a few minutes before he flipped over and let me fuck him from behind. I couldn't help but laugh when I noticed that there was a quarter stuck to his ass.

I'd always preferred doggy - it felt the best for me - but I also knew that Zane would want to kiss me, and I really wanted to watch his face. He moaned, gripping the bed tightly as I thrust into him more deeply and more quickly.

We switched to him riding, but I was honest that that was not a position I cared for much.

"You don't like being ridden? Why?" he asked, as he climbed up on top of me and slowly let my cock sink into his warm hole.

"I can't really ever feel anything but warmth," I confessed.

He moved his hips, bouncing on my dick for a few minutes. While it was hot being able to see his face and play with his nipples, the stimulation to my cock was minimal at best. I knew that he really needed to get home and that we had both agreed that anything more than ten or fifteen minutes was insane.

We switched back to doggy, but this time I really tried to give it to him. The bed was creaking, but the sound was mostly covered by his moans.

"It feels so good!" he gasped, arching his back for me.

"Good boy." I grabbed his hips and increased the speed of my thrusts.

I wasn't sure how much time passed, but I felt myself growing close and groaned loudly as I came deep inside of him. God, I'd forgotten how good it felt to cum inside someone!

I had every intention of sucking him off, but Zane got up and wiped the lube off of his ass with a baby wipe.

"How was it?" I asked, insecure.

"How was what?"

"The sex!"

"Oh, it was nice," he replied, pulling his clothes on.

"Just nice?"

"It was amazing." He smiled before leaning in to kiss me.

"I don't normally have sex. I think it's been, like, a year and a half?"

"Well, you're very good at it. I was worried it would be rough because I wasn't cleaned out, but it worked out just fine."

It was well after midnight by that point; I had to let Zane go so that he could get some sleep. He had to be up at five AM for work; as it was, he wouldn't get home until almost one AM.

We quickly made our goodbyes before he drove off, leaving me alone with my cats. I needed shower after that, even though what I really wanted was to fall into bed and pass out.

All in all, I think it was the best first date that I've ever had. If I could just allow myself to be vulnerable with Zane and let my walls down, I think it could be good. It was obvious that he liked me and enjoyed my weirdness, but still, it is so hard to fully let people in.

There is no definite second date planned, but now that he's out of a job, it will be easier to plan further adventures if we want to. I am still baffled that he has never seen Pretty Woman or Ghost - two of my absolute favorite movies; if we were to hang out again, I fully intend to make him watch both.

It's unclear what the future holds, but one thing is certain: once in a while I can make a genuine connection with someone who appreciates my particular brand of oddness. With the right person, my oddness can melt away and I can actually turn into a facsimile of a normal person.