Sid and Nancy in the Apartment Above Me

DON'T SPIT AT ME!

BECOMING A WOMAN UNDER REAGAN

What's funny is that I have been getting my period since the Reagan/Bush administration. And at the moment I am trying to figure out why I'm so damn premenstrual so damn early this month. I have all sorts of data from symptoms to cycles saved to Garmin Connect. Guess what. Chicken butt. Their server is down for maintenance. So now my old eggs are trapped in some freakin' satellite somewhere. Do you think there's some sort of strategic period missile defense happening?

BELIEVE IT OR NOT

I dated a co-worker for eleven years, who hated the Christopher Guest/Michael McKean/Eugene Levy cannon of movies. We worked in the theater. Quoting Waiting for Guffman was a way of life. Every now and then we would discuss their mockumentaries late at night, since I would watch them any time they were on. And of course, Jay would be drunk because it was nighttime, and he would angrily say "those movies are mean spirited."

They're all on Hulu this month, so I'm watching.

And at this very moment, Sid and Nancy in the apartment above me are fighting again. A lot of stuff up there fell to the ground this morning. I'm never sure when and if to call the cops. At no point have I ever heard hitting, slapping, or punching. Those are unmistakable sounds, for which I will immediately call 911. For right now, I will wait patiently for one of them to say, 'you know this relationship just isn't working out for me.'

I actually saw Nancy outside my building on my way to vote a few weeks ago. I had my mask, gloves, and running attire on. We had a brief conversation about how a few weeks ago, I attempted to register on-line to vote by mail. But my phone slipped out of my hand, and as I caught it on the way down I managed to register in a county 300 miles away from Brooklyn, and hit send. So as a result, I had to go vote in person.

Nancy said to me, "oh it doesn't matter. You don't have to vote. He's going to get in."

"Well now, here's the difference between our generations" I responded in jest. But not really.

And now I'm up to A Mighty Wind.

NewsNight8

Irving Steinbloom

1920-2003

TODAY, SATURDAY, MY DAY OFF

Okay. What did I do today? It's about the little things I do to keep my story moving

• picked up laundry

• bought a few things for apartment at Walgreens, where I ran into my senator

• washed a lot of dishes, twice

• garbage out

• organic soap in toilet tank

• floor swept

• prepped my new fanny pack

SUNDAY 7/26

Tired. Exhausted. Trying to figure out the cycle.

I know that I feel better after a run. I feel even better after several days of running.

But I have been zapped of my energy between the New York heat and PMDD.

I also know that it's okay to take time off from running because of the heat, or because I'm pre-menstrual AND pre-menopausal. Will I be happier when it's cooler? I don't want to wish my life away, plus it's only July.

And there's this underlying level of despair across the world. I feel it. I try to limit my news intake. I'm not trying to live in denial, but there's only so much I can and wish to handle.

One day more and I am off from work.

MONDAY'S MEDITATION

I welcome new thoughts and experiences.

Vam

My true nature is ease and bliss.

"Our old patterns do restrict us and can make us feel stuck."

• Day 10, Getting Unstuck to Free Your Mind. 21 Days of Meditation, Renew Yourself: Body Mind & Spirit

@deepakchopra

MOVEMENT VS. PROGRESS

I feel as if my insides are being twisted into a tourniquet.

Let it be.

What is this telling me? What might I need?

To be untwisted. To untwist myself.

Don't become how I feel. Don't let it define me.

I am not my feelings.

I am not my feelings.

What do I need to achieve this week? I want to commit to straightening up my apartment.

I will clean my kitchen.

I will clean my bathroom.

I will eliminate clutter.

I will tackle the bins in my closet.

I will empty and eliminate the granny cart.

What would it look like to be kind to myself this week?

I would not be so hard on myself. I would not think about how much my life sucks. I would simply wait for the bus without Tweeting the MTA about their poor service.

I am the overseer of my goals.

How can I challenge myself in a way that pushes me forward, not keeping me in place?

Small steps. A little here. A little there.

Progress looks different for everyone.

I aim for progress. I have the power to accomplish all that I set out to do.

(This was a writing exercise from The Daily Shine. Available through Spotify.

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