SHOOT UP AT THE OK CANTEEN

A clay filled gravity dam blocks the upper Towy River, the largest of its kind in the world and Britain’s tallest. People from every corner of the British Isles laboured night and day to gain its final height of just over 300 feet. That little upland valley had never seen so many people in the hundreds of years that had passed before, combined. They were only outnumbered by the sheep that peacefully grazed the surrounding hills.

Clay was extracted in the upper moorland reaches and hauled by truck to the site. Rock was quarried and crushed on site and trucks of every shape and size were used to move it into place. In the bottom of the valley, where the water would soon flood, was the nerve center of the operation. This nerve center included a large canteen where continual shifts of workers could sit and eat the food served out through a hatch from an adjoined, extensive kitchen.

A proud, deep voiced, South Walian man by the name of Eddie was in charge. Eddie was being a naughty man. His lovely wife had discovered that he had been having an affair lower down the river in the town of Llandovery, and the lovely wife was angry.

One bright day, while Eddie was busy in the kitchen, the offended, lovely wife came through the front door of the canteen carrying a loaded shotgun. The diners that were munchingly seated either side of the aisle that ran down the middle of the entire building, casually turned to see this female Earp begin her march toward the kitchen.

In a shrill, hag like, voice she called out. “Eddie, where are you, Eddie?” She continued her determined, confident walk and called out again. “Eddie, where are you? I want to see you, Eddie”

Eddie’s head appeared through the hatch and his deep baritone voice rang out through the whole building. “Here I am my love, here I am.”

She immediately raised the large weapon to her shoulder and pulled one of the triggers under its double barrel. She had never fired a shotgun before, and the recoil almost landed her on her backside. The gun discharged its leaded content into the ceiling of the building splintering wood off the joists which held up the roof.

Diners were clambering over each other to gain cover under the tables. Eddie too had gone for protection no doubt beginning to realize the folly of his recent ways.

Two brave men tackled the woman. It was an international effort one that would have made the United Nations proud. One Welshman and one Irishman, the Irishman gripped the gun and the Welshman helped to part her from it. The gun was cracked open and the discharged cartridge was discarded. The unfired cartridge was removed and the Irishman handed it to the woman. “Ah, now, my darlin’ you’s’d be better off if you threw it at him and it would be safer for the rest of us.”

Eddie had crept back to the serving hatch and gingerly peered through. The international collaboration held the gun and let the angry, wronged woman proceed to finish her mission.

She took two steps toward the wayward husband and threw the leaden cartridge. It was far more accurate than the one that had been discharged through the barrel of the gun. Eddie had to duck and it whistled past his head. He kept his eye on the scorned and angry wife who was reminding him of his marriage vows as the cartridge hit a plate on a tall shelf in the kitchen. This plate, the first of dozens, crashed into its neighbor and began a china breaking, domino cascade that went on for almost a minute. Eddie was in the midst of these clattering shards as they deepened around his feet, he would be responsible for their replacement.

He shuffled his feet as if to try and avoid breaking the china into smaller shards. His lovely, angry wife glared at him and there was no doubt that he would no longer continue his extra marital adventures. The broken china reminding him how close his life had come to being completely shattered.