Revenge On The Internet

So my boyfriend and I broke up. Who is to be more anti Valentine's Day this year than me? I've been on a rollercoaster of emotions and more likely to listen to 'Love Stinks' from the Wedding Singer than 'I Can't Help Falling in Love With You' by Elvis Presley. And so who do I turn to for validation and support? (Friends?) No! Strangers on the internet, of course!

I have been coping with this particularly nefarious break up by eating chocolate, eating pizza (and in turn my face looking like a pepperoni one), wailing into an ice-cream container and music.

A couple weeks ago my personal trainer at the gym asked me what the tattoo in my ear was. "A mistake made at 17." I replied. I then told him that it was music notes, because I like to sing and play piano. He then told me that he is a music producer who plays guitar and has a bunch of cool gear. He owns his own company and has a studio in his home. He added me on Facebook and told me to send him some of my stuff. I did. He sent me some of his. We both LOVED each other's work.

Now almost four weeks later, after a lot of hard work, we have created a demo for a song we both wrote. He did the backing track and recording/editing process, I did the lyrics and vocals. Together we have birthed something I am very impressed with. We both feel like proud parents of our new-born baby. Except our baby doesn't poop and cry at 2AM.

The song we wrote is called "Badder Than You". So far we have just created the demo, there is more work to be done. Right now, we have only got the bare bones of the song. We need to add a lot more stuff-like harmonies, a fancier chorus at the end of the song, more instruments in the backing track, and a whole bunch of technical jargon I don't understand that music producers do on their fancy software programs. I urge you all to listen to it, I've posted the link below at the end of this story.

I totally Taylor Swift-ed the flip out of my break up and in true Taylor Swift Fashion I created a break up song about my now distant lover. I want to personally nominate 'Badder Than You' onto the "Anti-Valentine's Day Playlist". So I hope you all enjoy.

It is quite unfortunate when two people are madly in love with each other, but are madly destructive together. Neither of us wanted to break up, and we both fought to hold on, but in the end, it's never about a lack of love that breaks a couple up, it's always all those other little exasperating things that tear us a part. If only human relationships were simpler, but then again, our complicated and multi-faceted nature is what makes us humans so fascinating. Another thing that makes us so fascinating is our ability to be resilient. And so, after a devastating heart break we must pick ourselves back up and mend our broken hearts again. I guess you could say that through the outlet of music and writing, I am trying to mend my own broken heart.

I also have another song in the works to add to this anti-Valentine's Day playlist. It's a poem I wrote the other night when I was a sad sap, that I want to put to a tune. Here it is below:

"Heart is heavy

Lump in throat

Eyes are stinging

Tears fall out

All this longing

But its no use

Futile loving

Toxic abuse

We say its water under the bridge

But this dams about to burst

Bridge about to crumble

Damage unreversed

Sticks and stones will break your bones

But words can break your soul

Twisted in knots

Your stomach drops

Feelin' like a complete fool

Mind is racing

Trying to think

Feet are pacing

Afraid to blink

Is love a game

A game of chess

No team players

Only war and mess

Time is passing

Now you're gone

All that's left

Is a used up pawn"

So here is my revenge against my ex on the internet after he decided to be a jerk to me when we broke up. Happy Un-Valentine's Day everybody. Hope you enjoyed this playlist.

https://vimeo.com/512151895/8cee11deca