Red Light Stranger

About six years ago on my way to work, I came to a stop at a red light and happened to look over to the car that pulled up next to me. It was a young woman that was crying and had wiped away a tear. 14,000,605 different scenarios quickly flooded my brain, trying to think of what had happened and what caused her to be so sad.

A lost reality that escapes our minds far too often in today’s society, unfortunately, is the realization that we currently live blindly and happily in a fight or flight community. Our fear of the unknown is one of our greatest flaws, and mostly believe it’s a sin to utter the phrase, “I Don’t Know.” A solution must be provided.

Every day, our fear of the unknown is temporarily anesthetized by various forms of media, entertainment, and societal “norms.” Tiktok has found ways to entertain you for a quick minute and allows you the chance to swipe to another video if the former has failed to grasp your attention. YouTube has figured out an algorithm to show you what you want to see based on your recent searches, further catering to your own biases while you watch in comfort as your fear of the unknown is put to ease by likeminded individuals. And Instagram has cleverly deceived you and made you believe that everyone else is better looking, and you can only get likes if you find your perfect selfie angle while on your scenic vacation.

When it comes to arguments or scenarios that challenge our own beliefs, we often refer back to those anesthetics and our thoughts are then constructed to form a set of cognitive biases that we’ve learned to hold dearly and sometimes get angry when others disagree with them or have to inject our own solutions to a problem that did not need it. We see this when we notice a friend, for example, state that they’ve been dealing with anxiety lately, so you tell them, “You don’t seem anxious,” and “It’s all in your head.” Or if a coworker happened to gain some weight recently, so you decide to say, “Have you put on a few pounds?” Or “Aren’t you worried about your health?” Because someone has to say it, right?

Wrong.

One thing we fail to offer, and the important fun fact of this article, is to simply provide an understanding. The red light stranger that I came across did not need my solutions or my personal understanding and input to the 14,000,605 scenarios I conjured up in my head, but rather, she might just need an understanding from another stranger that she’s going through a tough time. Whether a family member died, or she just lost her job, or even if she just felt like letting out some pent-up frustration because it’s been one hell of a week, it’s likely that what could be comforting for her is knowing that the world that exists outside of her car understands that it’s okay to be not okay. And for the love of god, don’t stare. I was quick to remind myself of this. While looking ahead in my car, I noticed at the corner of my eye that she turned and looked towards me, so I looked back at her and offered a smiled and a wave.

She did the same.

An author named Roy T. Bennet once said, “Sometimes all a person wants is an empathetic ear; all he or she needs is to talk it out. Just offering a listening ear and an understanding heart for his or her suffering can be a big comfort.”

In this instance, I was glad I could offer a smile and an understanding.