Quaratine SUCKs

PART 1

There was this thing on Instagram that has you pick your 4 favorite albums you would be able to keep on repeat or can't live without...I don't know, you guys know what I am talking about though. The picture with Bill Clinton (my conservative parents would be appalled) on it... okay so anyways, it really had me thinking.

Music is something that means a lot to me, it has gotten me through a lot of shit in my life and also gotten me into a lot of trouble as well. I am sure everyone can relate on this one. Those times in high school when we were so upset about having to spend 8 hours a day there even though it was so warm and sunny outside. But, at soon as that last bell rang, we all grabbed our backpacks, not even caring if we forgot a book or not and ran to our cars just to be the first senior to speed out of the parking lot. We all thought we were the shit driving our own cars and blasting the latest Childish Gambino on the way out.

Music has many genres... some people like all and other only like head banging EDM music... I am not judging but I am one of those people that likes all kinds of music. I am not sure if it was because growing up I had a lot of different types of friends (I am not bragging that circle got very small once I hit the age 21) or because I am so damn indecisive about shit. Now depending on what mood I am in, that chooses the type of music that is going to be played, but you see the dilemma i was in when the post says that you can only choose 4 albums, ONLY 4 Albums...

I can't only have 4 slots I need about 10...

How do you pick between all the albums that make you feel some kind of way, some are so good for sad times, some are so good for angry times, and then theres that one album you can play over and over again until you can scream anymore because it puts you in such a good mood, you just want to hit the pause button on time so you can feel that good forever. How do you pick between... Mac Miller and Kanye West... see you can't...

How do you pick between that one album that gave you one of the best summers of your life and an album you played leaving the high school parking lot every day... HOW? Oh yeah you physically cannot...

So I played these albums over to jog my memory a little bit and really narrow it down. Now listening to old albums really makes you mind rush and get to think about the times you had with these albums and who/what goes along with it.

It makes me think... I used to share all the great music of my life with friends but now that times have changed and people change, who I share my music with? Now DO NOT GET ME WRONG... I am not waiting around for some guy to sweep me off my feet. That shit does not happen anymore...

My parents kind of love (carries her to the car kind of love) does not exist anymore. My dad puts everyone else before himself, ESPECIALLY my mom.

Anyways, I am getting off track...

Music (Mac Miller and Chance the Rapper to be specific) was putting me in in all the feels. All of a sudden I was like shit, I like this song and I want to tell someone, so I texted my friend and told her what was going on and it wasn't the same.

I used to have that person who I listened to all the new music with and we vibed all weekend, it was always the best. Slurpee in hand, sour gummy worms in the other; recipe for perfect Friday night. That was my high school bestie, but we grew apart (maybe we'll come back together) and I don't exactly have that anymore. Then I had that one person who I could always send them music no matter what time of the day and they would listen and love it just as much as I did. We would say out favorite drops or beats and every time that song that song came on, we always looked at each other.

I GET IT OKAY, (I know what you're thinking) some friends aren't meant to be in your life forever, BUT why not? Making new friends is so nerve racking, I hate it but love it at the same time. That scariness of not know what the person is going to say, those butterflies in your stomach, just hoping the person likes you.

Now I am not just talking about any friend...I am talking about THE friend, the lifetime best friend. I want mine now, I am becoming very impatient.

All my friends (except maybe 1) all have boyfriends or girlfriends of some kind of another (you know what I mean, out generation is weird).

I JUST WANT... a guy that I can talk music with and talk about life, and do artistic things together and not be judged because they just get it...I just want to vibe with them and thrive with each other and work out together because we are friends but we are also dating. And I want him to get along with my friends and family and have so much fun together but also have our friend time because we both know how important that is and how that matters too. And go on adventures together and take trips with our friends together.

Is it really that hard?

Is the generation so messed up that we don't put ourselves out there because we are so scared of what douche bag we might get next?

We all need to be better...I am trying to, are you?