Puppy love

An ear-splitting scream echoed down the empty village street. Ella paused midway to unlocking her car boot and looked, with consternation, in the direction of the sound. A middle-aged woman lay spread-eagled on the ground. Her dyed blonde hair, piled high on top of her botoxed face, was skew-whiffed at a precarious angle; her eyebrows, permanently arched in total surprise, had risen to even greater heights on her heavily made-up face.

Her talon-like nails tugged ineffectually on a jewel encrusted lead, at the end of which squirmed her Doppelgänger in dog form, writhing deliriously in mud.

“No, Popsy darling, no!”

Ella pocketed her car keys, and went to the woman’s aid, pulling her to her stilettoed feet, whilst simultaneously trying to avoid being mauled by the white (now black) poodle puppy, who had now turned its attention on her. “Puppy class?” Ella inquired. The woman nodded morosely “Been coming three weeks now and still Popsy is in charge!” No wonder, Ella thought to herself, that simpering voice of hers wouldn’t keep a sedated tortoise under control. She noted that the dog’s mud-spattered coat coordinated perfectly with that of its bedraggled owner’s, and his pom-pommed fur had been dyed magenta to match her nails. “It’s my first time,” Ella confided “See you in there.”

Ella went back to her car, fervently hoping that the old saying, just vindicated by that woman, wasn’t actually true - that you looked like your dog. Sitting in the boot was the source of her fear - purchased a month ago from the local rescue centre - the ironically-named Beau. Mutt would have been more appropriate, his lineage uncertain, his spindly legs supporting a barrel-like body too big for them, a walking marvel like a bumblebee was to flight. His lips hardly closed over his teeth giving him a permanent grin that had made Ella smile. She had chosen him simply because he had been overlooked so many times before by wannabe dog owners looking for perfection over personality. She had felt a connection - she had been overlooked so many times too on dating apps, so obviously swiped left by the body beautiful brigade.

“Get a dog” her mum had said “It will keep you fit and be great company” - if eating her slippers, demolishing her new settee and turning her kitchen floor into a skating rink with its ‘accidents’ was company, then maybe she should have stayed on her own!

The last straw came when Beau decided to zoom towards a frail old lady at breakneck speed in the park. Not having yet mastered the intricacies of a retractable lead, Ella tried to retrieve Beau as he encircled the old woman, embroiling her in an involuntary game of cat’s cradle. That was the day Ella searched for puppy training classes online.

A cacophony of high-pitched, excited yaps mixed with sonorous barks greeted Ella as she pushed open the village hall door. She scurried to a vacant chair, pulling the equally excited Beau beside her and took in the scene. There were ten other puppy ‘couples’ here, demonstrating various levels of obedience - dependent on whose perspective- either canine or human. Ella was surprised, since moving to this small village she had not socialised with so many people all at once indoors. Standing all day, transforming wayward hair into a client’s vision, was exhausting, and Ella normally went straight home from the hair salon. Beau, it seemed,would get her out into the outside world after all.

The door creaked open again to admit a late-comer. An unlikely pairing of an Adonis beefcake with a minuscule Yorkshire terrier, who immediately added her tiny yelps to the canine chorus. Ella thought ‘her’ on the grounds of an enormous pink bow tying back the tiny puppy’s fringe.

Why would a man with the chiselled jaw of Gaston paired with the body of Clark Kent’s alter ego need the added cuteness factor of this adorable puppy?

Ella felt her hackles rising, mirroring the ones she had observed moments before, bristling on the back of a boxer puppy that had sniffed disparagingly at Beau on their arrival. All the resentment she had felt for months towards men came boiling over, and she made an inward vow not to acknowledge this obvious player. She had moved to this remote village to avoid men like him and now, like a heat-seeking missile, he was walking straight towards her.

“Do you mind?” he asked in an attractive West Country drawl, as he sat down on the empty seat beside her. Annoyingly, Beau was instantly besotted with his new companion and tried to rive her hair bow from her head. As Adonis leant over Ella to scoop his puppy up out of harm’s way, she caught the scent of his aftershave and felt her cheeks start to burn. “Sorry, I’ll move” Ella muttered and crossed the room hurriedly.

The one benefit of hairdressing in Ella’s eyes was that you had Mondays off. This meant she could do whatever activity she pleased without hordes of others disturbing her peace. This Monday was no different, or so she thought. She had chosen this quaint village as her sanctuary, mainly because of its proximity to a lovely sandy cove. She meandered along the water’s edge, leaping periodically over mounds of washed up seaweed, and throwing a ball for Beau. It was sheer bliss.

Then tiny familiar yapping permeated her reverie and she turned to see someone destined to ruin her day. She groaned as Beau ran off with rapturous barks and a vigorously wagging tail. Even more irritating was that he totally ignored her calls to return - sadly they hadn’t covered instant recall at puppy class yet. In the far distance, looking even more Greek godlike in broad daylight, was the unmistakable outline of Mr. Adonis. Beau and the little Yorkie gambolled together like a pair of spring lambs and Ella steeled herself for the inevitable encounter.

“Hi!”Adonis shouted above the incessant barking “ Fancy seeing you here ! This is my favourite beach”. Ella thought grimly, it was mine too until you showed up.

“I normally come down here on my days off - I’m a firefighter so I work shifts”. Ella snorted - did he really think she was going to fall for that baloney? Typical chat up line to impress the girls.

“Before having Molly,” he indicated the cavorting puppy, “I always used to surf here”. Oh pleeease, Ella thought not Mr. Action man to boot!

By now, Adonis had reached her and was brushing sand off his magnificent torso. “I’ve just been in for a swim,” he said apologetically, “Sorry for the state of me.” Is he for real?, Ella fumed inwardly .

“I’m Josh” he extended a hand of friendship. Ella accepted it reluctantly,

“Ella” was her terse reply.

“Actually, it’s not really my dog” he added, “I’m training it for my grandmother.

That was it for Ella, how many more clichés was he going to add to his repertoire in a bid to impress? She had been duped so many times before, she was sick of it.

Ella took a firm grip on Beau’s lead and dragged her protesting puppy away - unlike her, he was so enjoying his new found companion’s company.

“Got to go” she muttered and headed for home.

Next morning, Ella busied herself at work, she tried to put Josh out of her mind but she had to admit he was so attractive. She was embarrassed and annoyed with herself that he had floated numerous times into her dreams.

Ella was relieved to see Mrs. Sykes, her regular 9 o’clock appointment arrive. She came every week to have her perm reset and tweaked - she had not had a restyle since 1940 - it was a wonder the hair didn’t just wrap itself around the curlers! She was very sweet and Ella had been informed that she was recently widowed.

“How are you Mrs Sykes?” Ella asked cheerily.

“Wonderful” was the surprising response. “The last three weeks have been wonderful - ever since my grandson bought me a little puppy.”

“A Yorkshire terrier?” Ella paused, her scissors poised mid-air.

“Why, yes” Mrs. Sykes replied incredulously, “How did you know? I’ve had Molly three weeks now -she is my pride and joy, as is indeed my grandson - he’s a firefighter you know”, she added, bursting with pride.

“Josh?” Ella faltered.

“Why yes! How do you know him?” the old lady quizzed.

“Puppy classes” Ella replied.

Ella was glad to send Mrs. Sykes off a satisfied customer. She needed time to think - she had totally misjudged this man who actually had been very genuine. She couldn’t wait for the next puppy class - Beau wasn’t the only one who needed training - she needed re-training in the art of apology and she hoped it would not be too late.