PERFECTLY IMPERFECT

I remember as a little girl writing in my journals; writing all over my notebooks, "I love blank (whichever boy I thought was cute that week). How giggly I got and excited I would be at the possibility that the crush I had might actually like me back. These were the good times. As we grow, Our parents, teachers, and even movies all talk about and portrait the glamorous side of love, life and marriage. Rarely ever do you hear about or see the bad side until you experience it yourself.

This thing, this word, this emotion; this thing called love; it is supposed to be beautiful but it has an ugly darkness that creeps up out of nowhere. Attacking the things and people you love most. It is subtle, faint and not always present but if you allow it to enter, it grasps hold and refuses to let go. The heartache, turmoil and chaos. This darkness tears people apart; friends and family that have been together for years, could walk past each other on an empty street and you wouldn't have any idea that they once knew each other.

Taking your belongings, home, sense of worth and your soul. Sometimes even your breathe. How can such an admired thing, turn so evil and demonic so quickly? What and how is it able to outshine the rest? Outshine, what is supposed to matter most in this world. They say, " Love Conquers All", I beg to differ. Love is just a mere factor in what can conquer all. Along, with love you must have courage to be able and willing to fight for what is yours, bravery to face the hard times ahead without hesitation; compromise, to be able to let each others point of views and beliefs in; patience and understanding, strength and weakness; going on and on and on down the line of everything we have ever heard. However, most of all the "whatever it takes", attitude fends pretty well. It covers a little bit of it all. I mean this is your family, your friends, your things.....How bad do you want it? Will you do anything to keep it, protect it, to save it?

Hesitating to answer any one of those questions, in my experience, usually wound up in a split and a broken heart. Now, fast forward 30 years and answer those questions about your husband or wife at that time. See, no hesitation right? Ask any older married couple how they did it and you'll probably hear responses such as, "It was not easy, but well worth the fight, "you never go to bed mad," and so on. Now-a-days, that type of love is practically non-existent. Relationships today are based on fear, jealousy, CONVENIENCE or just physical. Darkness is the glamorized thing. Marriage is just a piece of paper that is so praised that people get married for the money, glitz and beneficial reasons; Just to have a party.

This thing, this word, this emotion; this thing called love; it is supposed to be beautiful but it has an ugly darkness that creeps up out of nowhere. Attacking the things and people you love most. It is subtle, faint and not always present but if you allow it to enter, it grasps hold and refuses to let go. The heartache, turmoil and chaos. This darkness tears people apart; friends and family that have been together for years, could walk past each other on an empty street and you wouldn't have any idea that they once knew each other.

Taking your belongings, home, sense of worth and your soul. Sometimes even your breathe. How can such an admired thing, turn so evil and demonic so quickly? What and how is it able to outshine the rest? Outshine, what is supposed to matter most in this world. They say, " Love Conquers All", I beg to differ. Love is just a mere factor in what can conquer all. Along, with love you must have courage to be able and willing to fight for what is yours, bravery to face the hard times ahead without hesitation; compromise, to be able to let each others point of views and beliefs in; patience and understanding, strength and weakness; going on and on and on down the line of everything we have ever heard. However, most of all the "whatever it takes", attitude fends pretty well. It covers a little bit of it all. I mean this is your family, your friends, your things.....How bad do you want it? Will you do anything to keep it, protect it, to save it?

"In sickness and in health, for better or worse….” the same old thing that everyone has said at least once, most say it twice. Where is the meaning behind that? I am supposed to be the one and only, I want to hear something that only means something to us, like a secret or inside joke. The vows you take at marriage are overlooked and everyone uses the same lines, the same way and in the same context, it is baffling. Original, eraser marks, crumpled, to name a few words describing how a paper you are reading your vows from should look and sound. 1st hand experience has taught me that love is hard, messy and complicated; on the other side it also showed me that love is serine and adventurous and PERFECTLY IMPERFECT!