PATENT LEATHER SHOES

It was December, my first Christmas in LA and it was hot for guy from Chicago at this time of year. It felt like it was 80 degrees all over the world. There's something about southern California that makes you feel that way. 'This ain't Christmas I thought', after all, how can it be 80 degrees at Christmas?

Christmas made me think of home and my mother, who I always tried to see around Christmas, no matter where I was. I decide to go home where I knew it was really Christmas. My mode of transportation at this time was hitchhiking, that, after all, is how I got to LA.

I had just bought this beautiful pair of patent leather shoes. Man, they were nice...tight...but nice. I decided I would leave the next day, giving no thought to the time of year, just enjoying that California sunshine in December. Staying in LA another night gave rise to the need for a place to rest since I didn't have one, so I decided to spend the night in an all-night theater. LA had lots of those at this time, in the downtown area.

I bought a ticket, it wasn't too crowded, just a few other homeless people and of course the usual perverts. I had no need of them tonight, so I took off my new patent leather shoes...they were killing me...and promptly fell asleep.

I awakened with a start, not quite sure where I was, as my mind cleared I realized I was in the theater, it was morning and we were being kicked out. Fully awake now, I reached for my brand new shoes. They were gone. In their place was a pair of the worse shoes I had ever seen. They were full of holes on top but the soles were ok. While I was sleeping, my brand new patent leather shoes had been taken, but at least whoever took them had left me something and despite my anger and disappointment at my stupidy, I was thankful they had left me something. Thus began the first day of my journey home to Chicago.

Wow! When I hit the road...getting out of LA was the hard part, especially if you're walking...the weather was so perfect. I was wearing a worn-out pair of shoes...compliments of my theater benefactor... and a very light jacket. Perfect for southern California, except for the holes in my shoes. As I said, southern California can make you feel like the whole world is sunny and bright.

I finally clear the urban sprawl which is LA and I'm on my way.

I don't remember what happened that first night, don't know if I kept hitchhiking or held up somewhere for the night. it should be mentioned that I had very little money, so wherever I spent that first night, I'm sure it was on the road.

The first time I noticed a shift in the weather...you see, I had forgotten it wasn't 80 degrees everywhere... I was standing on the Will Roger's turnpike in Oklahoma. Suddenly, it dawns on me, that I am headed east in December and the sun wasn't shining everywhere. As the air began to get chillier and my situation began to sink in, I knew I was very under-dressed for December going east. A thought to turn back surfaced, but I pushed it aside, to turn back would make me late for Christmas. It was getting colder, but I was a tough kid, I could handle it. At least it wasn't raining Huh?

As the Oklahoma sky began to change color and storm clouds began to form, I knew my hope of not getting wet was futile. It began to rain. So here I am, an underdressed Black kid, standing on the Will Roger's turnpike in Oklahoma, soaked from head to toe. Oh yea, I really thought this one through, but then, that's what California does to you I think.

I could feel my feet slushing about in my oversized shoes...they were soaked...and I thought of my nice, shiny, pair of patent leather shoes. I can't imagine what I looked like to the many cars whizzing past me. There was no place to take shelter so I endured it all, the rain, the cold, the hunger, and of course, the humiliation. If I still had my patent leather shoes I'd have had a ride by now, even though I was a soaked black kid standing in a rainstorm in Oklahoma. I felt those shoes would have made all the difference (laugh).

The rain finally stops, but not the chill. I'm cold and I know it's going to get colder. The morning finds me in Missouri and yes, it is snowing, light but snowing. As night approaches so does ST Louis. I am anxious to get there, some of the pressure of being black begins to lessen, if only in my mind.

It is now about 10:30 at night, my last ride dropped me in East St Louis Ilinois, in a blizzard, I am broke, freezing but being so close to Chicago, about 366 miles on route 66, I decided to try and catch a ride home. I am in a good spot. Well Lighted, but not much traffic this time of evening.

Man, it's cold, My feet are freezing. Once again I think of my patent leather shoes. I need a ride.

It's now about 12:30 in the morning of the second day and I'm still standing by the side of the road...route 66 to be exact...in East St Louis IL, staring at a highway sign that reads; Chicago 366 miles and everything about me is cold and warm at the same time. I feel a sense of accomplishment, it's a long way from LA to this point, however, in a moment, that euphoria is soon dissipated by the freezing cold, the water in my shoes, and the falling snow.....and the loneliness, I mustn't forget that.

Traffic is slow this time of the morning, I begin to wonder if I will survive the night. But staring at that highway sign gives me hope, I can be home by noon today, if I'm lucky, so I decided to try and make it home.

I've been standing here a while now, I'm sure I look a mess. I've been wearing these clothes for three days, It's snowing. Once again it occurs to me how badly I need a ride.

Then, to my surprise, out of the blue...or perhaps I should say... out of the night came this semi, for those who don't know what that is, well, It's a big ass truck, but what made this different from the others, that had been passing me all night, this one stopped.!! it wasn't far from me, yet I stood there thinking; who the hell picks up a raggy black kid, standing in a snowstorm storm at 1 in the morning but the other me said, damn, a ride! And started running for the truck.

As I climbed up to the cab and opened the door, the warmth from inside the truck took my breath away and I almost passed out with relief. I don't think he knew I was black until I opened the door, but I'm not sure about that.

Alright! I was beginning to warm up! My feet still felt like they were frozen, but my blood was circulating, I was gonna live! I guess we must have driven, maybe, 60 miles, when he turns and say "I turn off at the next road, your welcome to stay if you want". Ok, not saved after all, cause there was no way in hell I was gonna take that turn off, things were bad enough as it is.

So, I had to let my ride go. It is around 2 or 3 am and it is freezing, and I'm thinking 'only bout 3 hundred miles to go...If I live that long. As I stand on this frozen, lonely highway, in my useless shoes, it occurs to me that I might die tonight, yet I can't say that I was afraid...probably, because I didn't, believe it...somehow I managed to appreciate how beautiful and distant the stars were. I also looked around for a safe haven. There was none. Just dark, snow, and an empty highway I did see house lights across, what I thought was a field, tho because of the darkness I couldn't make it out. I decided I was too cold and too tired to make it. I don't know how long I stood there 'if I can just make it to sunrise', tho that did not seem likely. I felt that I was done, at this point. There was no fear, just a quiet kind of acceptance of the inevitable.

As I stood, almost frozen to death, by the side of the Highway, route 66, only 300 hundred miles from home....a quiet, dark, beautiful loneliness swept over me, It felt, somehow...poetic. I had accepted that I might die, alone by the side of that highway, but in fact, as I reminisce, I can't quite remember a night that was more beautiful, the cold, the snow, the desolateness of that night, yet the stars never seemed more beautiful and I never felt so helpless, human and so very much a part of everything...so much a part I didn't feel despair, fear...well maybe a little (chuckle)...I had simply accepted my fate in this beautiful place...there just wasn't any traffic!

It was so dark, my feet felt frozen, the newspaper I had used to plug holes was frozen. I didn't know how much longer I could hold out. I looked west and saw headlights approaching, I had been passed by a few times. Who was gonna pick up a stranger out in the middle of nowhere in the dead of night? I knew, to have a chance, I need to hold on 'til dawn and that was at least 3 hours.

Still, even though I knew the chances of the approaching vehicle stopping were next to nil, those headlights represented salvation, there was always a chance. As the approaching lights got bigger they made me feel smaller. Those lights represented everything I needed at this time....warmth! The thought of it was almost painful...and as the lights got closer and an image started to form, I saw that it was a bus and my hopes for a ride sank, those big babies stopped for nothing. as the monster got closer, pushing wind and snow ahead of it, I braced myself for the flurry of icy weather, that I knew would follow in its wake. I could see the interior lights now, a luxury liner, about to pass this frozen kid standing by the side of a frozen highway at 3 in the morning. As the bus was going by I read the company name in its running lights; 'Continental Trailways'. I mean, as disappointed as I was at being left behind, I could not help but be impressed, it wasn't greyhound, it was better! For a moment all my despair left as I marveled at, what to me at that time was nothing short of awesome. I will never know, to this very day, why that driver stopped.

I would like to explain, what it felt like...walking in the dark to that bus, but in truth, I can't remember. It's as though all memory of that moment is as frozen in time as I was. I'd like to share with you what it felt like to take those steps up and into the warmth of that bus, after all, it was my Noah's ark, but I can't. Memory fails me, so I will start where consciousness began to focus my mind.

What I remember is, sitting in the seat behind the driver and passengers covering me with their coats. I was under a mound of passenger coats. As warmth and clarity crepe into my body, I remember feeling the weight of those coats and the warmth...oh god...the warmth. There were passengers all around me, checking on me and inquiring as to my well being. I assume this is so, but in reality, I can't remember much of anything, except the warmth of those coats covering my body and then...sleep.

I had had very little sleep on the road and very little food. I slipped into what a coma might feel like. Just total warm oblivion. I don't know how long I slept, but when I awakened under those coats, we were pulling into a town. The bus pulled into a terminal, and after determining that I was awake, the driver said, "I can't take you all the way to Chicago, but the sheriff here is a good man. Go to the jail and ask the sheriff to let you spend the night". That is exactly what I did. I spent the next few hours, till the warmth of the sun filled the sky, in jail and was given breakfast that morning. When I was on my own again, I was amazed at what a difference a day can make. The sun was everywhere and though it was still very cold, for me, it was like a summer day, both in my body and especially in my heart.

By nightfall of that day, I was walking into my mother's apartment. I had done it!

I learned something on that journey. I learned, that when the chips are down and there is great need, people, red or yellow black or white, aren't so bad after all.