Part Savage, Part Sissy, Some Thoughts, All Reality

I have never shared this info about myself to anyone before and if you knew me you would find it shocking if i did. I am what you would call the epitome of the "bad boy" style you might fid in a movie. If you brought me home to your parents they wouldn't approve from the sight of me unless they were drug dealers or criminals themselves.I am not proud of it or trying to pretend so i have that image to people because i think girls would be into it. The simple fact is it is just who I am by default and I will corrupt and of the girls that see my 6ft 3in tall,skinny ass smoking a cigarette in my leather jacket and all black clothes with knuckle tattoos that read "Lost Soul" and they get that thought of wanting to save me or live on the wild side. Just to give an idea of how crazy my life has been i am going to share a few things about my past that are 100% true and have lead me deeper into the darkness of the bad boy lifestyle.

So It started back when i was 13 years old and i had already been smoking weed,drinking and having sex for awhile but one night i was home alone and didnt have any more of the ounce i had bought that same month. so while i was at the computer talking to my gf of the time on MSN messenger I noticed my mom's full script of pills sitting between me and the screen.. I didnt know what the fuck it was but the bottle said take 5 pills 2 times a day with a warning that it may cause drowsiness or blurred vision. I thought to myself "okay I'll try 7 of them and get a really good buzz" i only remember sitting on the stairs up to my room in the attic and talking to my gf on the phone and crying for some reason telling her i love her but im gunna go lay down. Well the pills i took were actually 10mg methadone pills my mom had from her surgery and for those that dont know what it is, its a synthetic heroine that is actually worse for you then the street drug and it is very strong serious shit that can take months to withdrawl from cause it gets into your bones and they will make a grown man sick from taking 1 10mg pill for the first time.so i woke up a few days later and i had got so high i was upset because i blacked out durring the high and thought it didnt even work so that cycle of taking 3 to 5 every day or two went on for a few weeks and in that time it came out that a "friend" of mine i had over from school had molested my little sister that was like 8 at the time and her school was pointing their finger at me. i thought over my options that night before school about what i was going to do. I had a gun i had found in a trailer that i stashed away and i kept going back to the idea of shooting this fucking perverts dick off at school..that's a pretty big choice to make when your gunna turn 14 in a month. I couldn't just let this fuck face just get away with a beat down that would get seperated after a few seconds either. So I had an idea since i knew at the time those pills almost killed me just the two weeks i took them over winter break had withered me to a 6ft tall kid that was down to 114lbs and could tie a bandana around my chest with room to spare. So i took 10 to school pretended like i didnt even know about what happened and in passing when i saw him i shook his hand and slid him the 100mg of methadone and told him they are tylenol 3 and if he takes all of them he will get a decent buzz. He smirked and said "thanks you fag!" and kept walking to class. by the end of school he was puking in the parking lot and wandering around when i got on to the bus. he woke up on life support and ratted me out to the dean to save his own ass. I was already dealing with them pissed that i smoked weed in class and they couldnt prove it was me so my mom told them about my sister and his parents decided they wouldnt press attempted murder charges on me if we didnt put rape charges on him and the school just said that they wont call the cops as long as i never step on school ground again and that goes for ANY school in the US. That's how I was kicked out of school for attempted murder before I got a single high school report card. Since then I have been knee deep in shit from a 45k OD when i was 18 to selling drugs and out smarting cops every time they thought they would get me, to chilling with the first Crip set in Vegas at 19 after earning their respect by walking up to 6 or 7 of them wearing red and black skinny jeans with a black shirt that said "Pull The Trigger Bitch" on the back (RIP Mitch Lucker) with a red bandana on my belt and a red electric guitar on my back and looking them in the eyes ready AF to swing on the first one to try starting shit and I ended up selling weed for them and even going to a rap battle with them even though I was all about death metal at the time. *fun fact: That actually influenced my main love of remixing rap songs into metal ones when i started my own label and recorded an album called "Under The Covers" with over 20 songs remixed for it that i wrote, played guitar lead and rhythm, screamed vocals, and recorded by myself from start to finish with software i tought myself how to mix and master on the same way i learned how to play guitar and write music myself. I had a few songs from Brotha Lynch Hung, lollipop and drop the world by lil wayne, some Yelawolf, Holidae Inn, Magic Stix, In the club, candy shop, and tons more* Anyways the picture i am trying to paint is probably best captured by the plan one of my closest friends and band members had about going to Hawaii to sleep on the beach and try to start a life and do some thing so savage like going into the woods with only a lion cloth and a shaved face to see how big our beard would have grown by the time we were able to hunt and kill a wild boar with only shit we could make like a spear or some shit.. I am the type of guy that if you knew me and i told you that is what we are gunna go do for fun you wouldn't be phased at all by it you would even expect it but if I told you that what I want more then anything in this life is to find a girl that is into dominating her partner and gets pleasure from turning me into the most feminine sissy for her to play with or watch get played with by whoever she wanted. A girl that would come home from work or wherever to find me sitting at home and watching tv in my regular clothes and would get upset that i wasn't wearing some sexy panties and a mini skirt with my legs shaved and my lipstick on just incase she met a guy, girl or couple that she found attractive and wanted to see her how his cock would look with my lipstick around the base of it before she wanted me to watch him pick her up and fuck her until her cum washed it off and he finished by exploding inside of her pussy and she dismissed him and told me to come eat her out and then continue where he left off.. I have wanted my life like that for sooo long and have never found anything close to it, which i understand why girls tend to not like that type of guy because of the way our society is about how men should act but at the same time it doesn't make sense to me because not only am I the type to get into a bar fight with 6 guys by myself and laugh about it as it happened because thats my shit, so as far as knowing that i can protect her like a pitbull with rabies thats a given if you know me. I am also the dominate type which is what i enjoy fighting to let go of so once i was pushed to a point its not like that take what i want aspect isnt in me and she wouldnt be able to snap her fingers and tell me to bring that shit out if she was in that mood. So the main difference is that dating a sissy (at least in my case but I know alot of them are) is that a female would still have the pro's any reg. relationship would with a man and a woman and to the public but she also gets the option of programing her own perfect female BFF that would love going shopping and putting on makeup while playing dress up and taking pics together and everything else you'd find to have in common plus your the one being worshiped and obeyed like a queen and have control of calling the shots in the relationship but on top of that you would still be able to be in a loving partnership and have the freedom to basically act single and fuck any hot guy your heart desires then send on their way and still have someone you know and love to snuggle up with at night which is also improved from a typical guy since your both shaved and smooth with tight and silky clothes. dating a sissy is basically the equivalent to living with your BFF that you actually have the option to decide to change the aspects to match your wants perfectly while being worshiped and treated like your the reason they breathe while you have options as a single person (and in my own personal idea of perfect) be polyamorous to a degree and actually be open to dating another guy as a group. Well anyways I guess I'm left to spending my days flipping off the cops that forget they work for me and my nights by myself in a bra and panties taking pictures of my ass hanging out from a mini skirt dreaming about my super slutty twin flame and the fun we would have in life if we ever met.