Only fools believe in miracles in love

When I worked for a dating website, I tried very simply and very hard to help single people with their dating problems. So we sent out a solicitation, asking single members to come to the company, talk about their expectations and confusion, and see where their problems lie.

We soon attracted a large number of female members, who were reserved at first but brightened up when they started talking about their romantic interests. You can hear some very beautiful, nuanced, stirring words floating around the room. In our whole solicitation process, only a few men were willing to talk to us, and the words were precise, cautious and practical. I began to realize that love and marriage were religions for a significant number of women.

Many women speak of a "soul mate," believing it to be the only reason they want to stay. If pressed further, the "soul mate" should not be too ugly, too short, too potty, too stingy -- naturally, a "Li Shi" earning less than 8,000 a month is unlikely to be a "soul mate".

This "soul mate" will usually have a well-cultivated, caring personality and a deep understanding. Finally, they would say with great expectation: "If there is such a male member, please introduce me!" -- We several young female editors are confused in the wind: if found such a man, not enough internal digestion! - "no!" They said firmly and dismissively, "I don't want the kind of heartthrob you say, I just want the person who is made for me in the dark, the one who is meant to be."

A similar case was repeated later: a woman with a mediocre job, earning three or four thousand yuan a month, looking like a passer-by, and talking in a boring way, kept describing "that he" to us, just like the ice Age squirrel describing the attractive luster of the pine cone. I was in a trance listening to it. If a man barely able to drown said he was going to win the Olympic swimming championship, he would laugh himself. But no woman, no matter how ordinary, would think her dream of love funny, and she believes it is completely possible, because "this is love, can produce all the miracles of love."

In the first few times, we would blindly encourage female members like: "Yes, you don't have to compromise easily, anything is possible, fate is not yet here." Later I had to admit that nothing was possible unless the "soul mate" they were talking about had no soul at all. Because their "miracle of love" consists of a man who has some money, some leisure, some taste and is not ugly, not ignoring her for her ordinary looks and talents, but liking her for her willful temper, and finally falling in love with her for her empty, fantasy-filled brain.

They gushed that they were waiting with all their sincerity for a love worthy of them. It is conceivable that the appearance of such a love, like a large and rare pine cone, would bring a sweet smell and an enviable decoration to their lives, and would sweep away the monotony, scarcity and embarrassment of the original. It would have been better if they had been fed and clothed along the way -- they were waiting so sincerely and eagerly that it touched them -- but they were in no hurry to change themselves.

Then I knew that I was going in the wrong direction with my "very simple, very hard work" and that it would take much more than just introducing people and psychological construction to solve their problems, which was a huge project illustrated in the movie My Fair Lady. For example: to force them to be hard on themselves, to have a better income, to learn how to choose their clothes, to manage their makeup; They also need to get in touch with men, understand men's real thoughts, recognize their own limitations and needs -- at this point, they will exclaim: "My God, how can love be so utilitarian!"

Love is so utilitarian. Unwilling to believe in love utility, is often dissatisfied with their own situation, and lack of power and ability to change, can only hope for the only possible miracle in life: that called "love" thing. The earth is full of setaria, setaria can only grow dog tail flowers, not pine cones. Even a setargrass can't do that, no matter how much it believes in the pine cone. No man or god in the world can do this. Love, the world's most popular religion, can't do it. Maybe one day they will cry and say, "Love cheated me!"