Not Ready To Go

I let my foot off the throttle to merge behind a truck. I could have floored it, thrown myself back in my seat, blew beyond the speed limit on the short on-ramp. Instead, I played it safe. Just as I had every other day in my life. I never understood risky behavior when it would likely get myself killed.

Apparently the fates had a different lesson in mind for me that day though. The latch of the dump-truck’s tailgate gave way. I watched in horror as a mountain's worth of gravel slammed through my windshield. It happened so fast that I didn’t even feel it.

--

The next thing I knew, I was standing in darkness. My eyes slowly adjusted to the low light around me and in front of me stood a beautiful hourglass.

The glass was surrounded with an ornate wooden frame, each of its three pillars carved with fine details. The sand inside, which was giving off a faint blue glow, seemed frozen in place, with more of the sand resting above the neck than had sunk through to the bottom.

I wanted to take a step closer to take in all of the details, but as soon as I took a step the glass shattered. Spears of glass and wood crashed into the darkness as if there were nothing there and the glowing sands scattered across the floor towards me.

I moved to turn away, to run, but the sand grew brighter and brighter until finally, it crescendoed into a blinding white light. My eyes shut tight against the assault of my senses until it felt like the light had faded away.

When I opened them again, a subtle blue tone had overtaken everything. Where the hourglass once stood, an elderly man was waiting. I couldn’t help but gape when he looked at me. This felt like some sort of magician’s act in a Vegas theatre.

“Ruth Emilia Mitchell?” My name was called in a comforting way, as though he was a doctor in a medical drama addressing a family member in the waiting room.

“Yes?” I didn’t want to hear his next words.

“Welcome to the afterlife,” He held his palm towards me when I started to open my mouth, “I know you will have many questions, but before I can answer yours I have a few for you. Do you remember a little girl named Rena Macdonald from your elementary school days?” His was voice calm and kind. Despite uttering a name I had avoided thinking about since graduating high school, I nodded, “Good, do you remember her sudden disappearance?” Unable to find my voice I nodded again.

Despite trying not to think about Rena, it was hard to forget. A young, naive me refused to get close to anyone after my best friend abandoned me in elementary school. It wasn’t until I was getting ready for prom years later, complaining to my poor mother that I never had any decent friends, that I was told little Rena MacDonald never made it past the sixth grade. Tears stung at the corners of my eyes. Memories that I had been forcing down for what felt like eons bubbling up with passion.

“I can see that you remember her well. Please know there was nothing that we could do to stop it then. Rena is here, as are all of the children of Earth. She has been waiting most patiently for you. You are welcome to stay here. You can be finished with your human life, move with her into the afterlife to be free of worries and the evils of the world,” He paused to let his words sink in. I’m sure I looked surprised at this point. I had lived my life as an atheist. I expected nothing in the afterlife, and if anything was to be expected - it was guaranteed to be eternal damnation. I never in my wildest dreams imagined that I would get to see my best friend again, let alone spend eternity living carefree and happy alongside her.

I was already getting excited to see Rena, to make up for the shortcomings of our childhoods in the afterlife. I glanced up and something in the man’s wrinkled face made me pause. I’m sure he could hear my thoughts. He seemed to be waiting for something. I met his eyes and waited, listening.

“However, I have an alternative. I can send you back to Earth. You could be reborn as Ruth Emilia Mitchell to make friends with the young Rena again. This time you would have all of your existing knowledge. You would have your experiences and know what is coming for her. You could save that little girl’s future and protect her from the memories of her current lifetime. You have the power to save her fate; however, the choice is yours Ruth. I will not force your hand.” He smiled at the end of his offer, his deep chestnut eyes staying locked with my blue eyes. Even though he said I had a choice, I feel like he knew what I was going to say before I did.