Not Every Work Friend Is Meant To Be A Forever Friend

Relationships fade. Some slowly, some abruptly, and some in ways that leave you questioning how you ever let the wrong people so close. I have always been a positive person who builds deep connections quickly. Over the years, through school and a decade of shifting workplaces, I’ve met people who felt like lifelong friends. Working with someone every day can blur into something that feels rooted, meaningful, and hard to let go of.

But there is a pattern many of us learn too late: some relationships only exist because of proximity. Once life pulls you in different directions, the bond you thought was mutual fades, and one day you wake up realizing you were the only one carrying it.

This is the story of one of those realizations.

The Beginning

I was managing a dental office during a difficult period. The owners lacked interest in improving the business, which made every day a challenge. The bright spot was the dental assistant who worked beside me. We spent full days creating training materials, organizing workflows, talking about our lives, and building ideas from scratch. It felt like a partnership. A genuine one.

We shared personal stories. We exchanged Christmas gifts. We hung out outside of work. We went through the turmoil of bad management together and the reorganization that followed when the practice was sold. Those shared experiences created the kind of bond that only two people who lived the same chaos can understand.

When the new owners took over, I eventually accepted a role that aligned better with my experience. I trained the team thoroughly, left resources behind, and made it clear my door was open if anyone needed support. I wanted the practice to succeed. I believed my friend did too.

After I Left

Things fell apart quickly. The staff ignored the training, systems dissolved, and the day-to-day became a mess again. It was frustrating to hear, but at least I still had the friendship with the assistant. Or so I thought.

Before I left, she made a big deal about staying close.

“You better not forget me.”

“We’re still going to hang out.”

“Don’t disappear on me.”

I took that seriously. I kept in touch. I responded to calls and messages. I helped with work questions and personal ones. I showed up when asked.

Then the requests for money started. I helped a few times. She paid it back every time, so I didn’t think much of it. But as the months passed, the pattern became clearer. She would reach out only to make plans she never followed through on, or to ask for something.

Six months of empty plans. Six months of me showing up while she didn’t. Six months of realizing the friendship was being held together by obligation, not intention.

I eventually asked her directly, “When are you going to come through?”

And then I said something I should have said much earlier:

“I’m never giving you money again, so if that’s why you still keep in touch, you can forget that.”

Her response was immediate:

“LMFAO not even why. WTF. Okay cool.”

And before I could respond, she blocked me everywhere.

What I Learned

Looking back, I could have ended this much sooner. I always believed in giving people the chance to show their intentions, because I value being someone others can rely on. But reliability only matters when it is mutual.

What I learned is simple: never be passive about discomfort. The moment someone’s behaviour makes you question your worth, your boundaries, or your value, address it. You save yourself time, energy, and emotional strain by being honest early.

Some friendships fade because life moves on. Others fade because they were never friendships to begin with. If someone consistently makes you doubt your good feelings, or if the relationship only survives through your effort, it is not worth holding onto.

The people meant to stay will stay without being asked. The people who are only there for convenience will leave the moment you stop making yourself useful.

And honestly, letting those people go is the healthiest thing you can do.