No, Not Yet

He's always on time. Everywhere he goes, he's always on time. I looked at my watch, just knowing in three minutes, he will walk through that door. I had the right night, restaurant, and table ready. I knew in two minutes, and seventeen seconds, he would walk through that door.

"Hello Natalie, is tonight the night?" the waiter inquired as he filled my water goblet and placed the menu on the table. "Maybe Lamont, maybe. You know how first dates are." I said. Lamont shot a surprised look and smiled. "First date, huh? Yes, I sure do honey, I sure do. Well, good luck tonight." I returned my gaze to the front door in time to see you walk in and take your seat with one minute and eight seconds to go.

He's always on time.

As you sit across from me, I can't help but admire you—the epitome of man, dashing, strong, smart, hard-working, and caring. I imagine our babies would be beautiful and glorious. I've drifted off into my thoughts when I realize you have been speaking this whole time, and I have not been listening.

Good job, numb-nuts. Great way to start the night. You have no clue what he said. Just keep smiling and try to pay attention!

I smile, staring deeply, adoringly into your eyes, as you turn your attention to speak to the waiter, I sit and watch, trying to pay attention to your words, your movements, but I'm distracted terribly by you.

So much time watching and waiting, and now I'm finally here. I can't mess this up.

"Natalie. Natalie, he ordered. Do you know what you will have tonight?" Lamont asked, looking concerned. I scramble to choose a meal that would show you that I have class and taste, but nothing is grabbing my eye.

This is what I get for not listening. I will order the same meal as you did, then you will see we are meant to be.

"I will have the same." Lamont tapped the pen on his pad and proceeded to the kitchen to place the order. Once again, I focused my attention on you. I could tell tonight was important to you. You were dressed in a dark suit and tie, not too fancy or casual, just enough to set the mood. I could tell you just had a fresh shave, manicure, and haircut. Who knew you would go all out for little old me? I look up at your beautiful face, and you are laughing. Did I miss a joke? I smile and let out a complementary giggle to let you know I think you are funny.

If I don't pay attention, I won't learn anything. I have to PAY ATTENTION!

I nod slightly in agreement with myself to pay more attention as Lamont returns, placing a dish in front of me. "Alright, here you go, fillet mignon in mushroom wine sauce." Lamont leans in a bit closer "You good Natalie?" he asked, picking up my wine glass. "Oh yeah, I'm- ooh, is this merlot?" I asked as he poured the deep red, fragrant liquid into my glass."Yes, you know your wine, don't you? You know, your meal was also made with merlot." I slowly take a sip from the stemmed glass, inhaling the sweet scent of dark juicy fruits. The smooth taste of the merlot dance on my taste buds, elevating my courage. As you began to eat, I follow, mimicking your moves. You sip, I sip. You take a bite; I take a bite. We're almost in sync, nearly finishing together.

I close my eyes, entertaining the thought of you and me making love, entwined in pleasure, finishing together. I'm cradled in your arms on a warm summer night with a chilled glass of merlot, the same merlot from our first date. The lights are low, and the music sets the mood. We kiss passionately, making love into the night.

"Uh, Natalie. Sweetheart, he's gone." Lamont's voice ripped me from my thoughts back to reality. "I'm sorry, Lamont; what did you say? I asked.

"Natalie, he paid the check and left about five minutes ago." I looked at the table across from me near the restaurant's center, and you were gone. Your table cleared, already being prepared for the next guest.

No, not again. NO.

Lamont saw the look of disappointment on my and face and tried his best to console me.

"You know if you hurry, you could probably catch him outside, meet him, and well...you know, get his name."

I grab my coat, placed a few bills on the table to pay my check and a little extra to thank Lamont for holding the table.

"No, not yet. Perhaps next time."