No Longer Embracing the Smudge

August 13 was Left Handers Day and as a lefty I have to say that as “cute” as the “embrace the smudge” thing may be, I find it rather lacking in taste. Obviously that saying was thought of by a right-handed person.

The smudge on my hand after writing isn’t the worst thing in the world. Looking at the page is. Oh I just loooove not being able to read my own handwriting. My teachers must have loved it too. Maybe that's why I didn't do so well in handwriting. Do they still teach handwriting, or do kids merely tap on screens and keyboards nowadays? I do know that no kid writes in cursive anymore, but I digress.

The thing about being a person of my age being left-handed is that we endured having to look for the left-handed desk in the classroom. A classroom with 20 something kids, 2 lefties, and 1 lefty desk. Not being able to use scissors properly as a kid so I avoid using scissors as much as possible. Can openers? Oh don’t get me started. Playing basketball, I shot with both hands (like literally at the same time) because I was too ashamed in exposing my left-handedness, not knowing it was an asset.

We live in a right-handed world. It's difficult to find one of those "cute" coffee mugs for left-handed folks. A tool as simple as a pen is a challenge. Regular pens are awful because of the flow of the ink. As a right-handed person, you’re pulling which allows the ink to flow. As a lefty we are pushing the pen against the flow of the ink, which is why some pens don’t “work” like they’re supposed to. So watching a lefty try to sign a receipt or whatever and seeing that person shake the pen is basically the same as watching a salmon without fins swim against stream. Have you ever seen the signature from a lefty? You know, the one where it appears that the person gave up halfway then there’s a sudden gush of smeared ink? That’s the average day of a lefty having to sign things at their local bank/business.

I’m very particular with my pens because of this. As I push my hand through the paper, I want something that glides as smooth as Kristi Yamaguchi on ice but dries quickly. These pens are difficult to come across, but they are out there...I just won't reveal my source merely because I don't want my pens to vanish the next time I go shopping for them.

In closing, I’m glad that we lefties have 1 day out of 365. But I’d like to propose that since we are about 10% of the population since the beginning of time, we should get about 10% of the year. That’s right, I’m talking 36 and a half straight days of lefty madness.

Beginning midnight July 9 until noon August 14, we will celebrate left-handed folk. As lefties, we deserve a taste at seeing the 90% look and feel as awkward as we do on a near daily basis. Daps and handshakes will be dominated with the left hand. For those double doors, open the left door with the left hand. Wear your watch on your right wrist (because that’s how lefties roll, and it's a shame that the only thing righties do is wear their watch on their left wrist). Those are mandatory. Other activities can include trying to use scissors with your left hand to feel that oh so awkward feeling. Try a can opener. Students can write in their notebooks from back to front like I did in order to avoid the spiral indention on your left arm. I'm not going to force you to write lefty but if you try for 36.5 days, you might end up being good at it. Give it a try and stare at that smudge on your left hand and embrace it!