My life has stopped

"Boss, please tell me whether to leave as planned next Tuesday? Or should I postpone the schedule?" This is a letter I sent to my boss last Thursday. If there is no surprise, I will receive a call tomorrow. I don’t know how many times this is the first time I wrote to ask about this kind of thing.

When I checked in in late February, the boss kept urging me to buy a ticket and set off, even asking me to fly at 228 consecutive days. Before I set off, my boss told me to stay here for a month for training, and then I could go directly to Wuxi to install the machine. At that time, I expected to go home in May, but the moment I stepped into the company and saw the machine, I was stupid.

When the recruitment was held last year, the Taiwanese business executive told me the company’s plan:

In the first half of 2021, I will install the machine in Wuxi. After the completion, I can prepare the third quarter demo at one of the two major packaging and testing plants in China (one of which is my former owner), so that I can stay in Taiwan without running around. I thought to myself: "If you can talk to my former boss about Spec, basically it must have reached a considerable level, and it should be no problem." In addition, the salary is very good, so I joined this company, but as I said Say, I knew what would happen the moment I saw the machine.

In the first week I came to Boston, some components of the machine were not assembled at all. It was about the second week that I started to help with the assembly of equipment accessories, and then I continued to remove, modify, install, calibrate... this cycle. At that time, I didn't know how many OSs like WTF were in my mind. After reporting the situation to the Taiwan business executive, he was also taken aback, because he had only seen some fragments of the machine from the data. Because of this, I extended my stay and car rental at least three to four times from March to May alone. Until the beginning of May, I didn’t think it would be a way to go on like this, and my blood pressure medicine had been completely taken, so I asked the boss to find it. A reason to return to Taiwan. To tell the truth, I can't leave again, because the last date for departure approved by the customs is 5/20.

I was quarantined on 5/24 and stayed at home for two weeks (one week I could not go to the store or crowded places). During this period, I read my master’s daily newspaper every day, and I wanted to know with my toes that the client could not accept this situation. But he was urged to go to Shanghai. I originally wanted to talk to my boss, but the departure date he booked with the client was a "very reasonable" date, which made it difficult for me. So on 6/6, I set my head and set off to Shanghai, and then I was imprisoned for two weeks. . In Shanghai for a month, I read the daily newspapers every week, and I saw that the flight was delayed every week, which made me doubt my life... Until the end of the month the boss told me to fly to Boston. There are some updates, so I can get acquainted with them, but after two days he changed his mind and asked me to return to Taiwan. I booked all the air tickets, and the UA ticket rules are non-refundable, and I can only retain the qualification for one year, so tens of thousands of dollars have been lost (although it is not my money).

I returned to Kaohsiung on 7/2 and was closed for another two weeks. After 7/17, I started the autonomous management of +7, but the +7 was not over yet. The boss asked me if I could fly to Shanghai before 7/24? Of course not! I found some reasons for Tangsai to leave on 8/2, but at the end of July he told me not to move, first to 8/6, then to 8/10, 8/12, 8/15, and finally simply Tell me to wait for notice. At that time I guessed that he would call me to the United States, sure enough! So I continue to write "Boston Survival Notes", and then continue to write "Shanghai Survival Notes" or even "Wuxi Survival Notes".

Then what? There are still a lot of problems at all. I will start to do some experiments tomorrow to see my luck.

In the past about 200 days, I spent about 54 days at home, only 27% of the time, but 73% of the time people were not at home (Huh? I heard that the work requirement is 40% International Travel). The actual condition of the machine, poor project progress, and schedule management (I will say this because... even my colleagues say the same) are completely different from when they were recruited.

Calculated by 365 days a year, 40% is 146 days, which is about 4~5 months. If you look at it in a year, it is absolutely acceptable. But from February to now, I have been outside. It’s been 146 days, and in the next few months I should not be able to return home. From the time of registration to the end of the year, it is about 306 days. Then I only have 17% of my time at home. The burden of caring for Michelle these days is completely on The queen mother is really a great burden for an elderly person in her 70s. What's more, she had forgotten during the Chinese New Year this year. The oil pan was burned and the range hood was burnt... That time Michelle was scared to death. Me and the Queen Mother extinguished the fire inside and told her to go outside. She was crying outside, worried that the Queen Mother and I would die. I think this is because she does not have 100% confidence in her grandma.

Michelle has given up diapers for a while, but suddenly started to wet the bed every day before I went back, even before I left. Tell the children that it may still be in the adaptation period, but we also doubt whether it is the so-called "behavioral degradation"? For this reason, I thought about helping her find child psychological counseling, but as far as I know, even the counseling needs my company to be effective.

In addition, Michelle is a very restrained kid, and many things will be hidden in her heart. She knows that grandma can't drive, and riding a motorcycle to school is not as safe as taking her to school, and grandma is also tired, and there is no way to pick her up when the weather is bad, so she is considerate and willing to let the principal who lives in the same alley. Helped her to drive her to and from school, but because the principal went out early and returned late, she had a lot of lonely waiting time. Last time, she told my classmates that she was boring before coming. In the past two days, she told her grandma that she would sometimes hide and cry by herself. ..

What really knocked me out was what happened yesterday.

In order to help Michelle celebrate her birthday, the Queen Mother asked me to help order pizza across the sea. The Queen Mother didn’t tell Michelle beforehand that she wanted to give her a surprise, but she didn’t expect that after the pizza was delivered, the Queen Mother asked her to wash her hands, so she ran into the Japanese room. The queen mother went to find her out, but Michelle cried...she said that she was so sad that Baaba was not by her side...this morning I went out for a bike ride and received a text message from the queen mother. After I came back, my heart was broken after reading the message. .., Michelle is eager for her parents to participate in all kinds of occasions and activities. There is no mommy anymore, at least there is a bail, and now I don’t even have a bail...I let a five-year-old child bear it Such a pain!

Back to myself...

Since Empress's death, I have not been able to be alone in the field by myself. At that time, when I returned to the rental house from get off work every day, I turned on the TV to make the room sound, and even slept at night. I used to sleep with all the lights off. After that, as long as I am alone, even at home, I will leave a small light when I sleep. Later, I quit my job in Taichung and returned to Kaohsiung to accompany Michelle. During that time, we repaired each other's broken hearts. Everything seemed to be getting back on track. But since I arrived in the United States in March, I seem to have started the habit of being in Taichung again ( But I didn’t know it.) It’s the same when I arrived in Shanghai in June. The TV was on all night, even now... and I only remembered it these days. Isn’t this the same as when I was in Taichung? The difference is that I can’t go back to Kaohsiung when I want to go back to Kaohsiung...I used to feel a little stuffy in my chest when I was alone. I thought it was just missing me, but I realized it these days... Miss, but panic!

I am free here, but I have nowhere to go. The unicorn has to be left at home for a few months. I have to ask relatives to help me start it regularly. I can’t do anything I want to do or where I want to go. I can’t participate in anything with my daughter... ...I really feel that my life has come to a halt. Even though I am abroad, I don’t have the time and energy to go or even the mood to go somewhere. The only thing going forward is the number on the deposit, but ...Is that all? If my daughter suffers from this, what if those numbers continue to increase?

There is one thing I haven't mentioned to my colleagues.

Last week, I chatted with a director of the company in the company cafeteria, and talked about the itinerary in the past few months. I was constantly quarantined and called out... At that time, an engineer from another department was sitting there for dinner. , He heard all the conversations between me and the supervisor. After the supervisor left, he said a few words to me, but because he had food in his mouth, I did not hear clearly, but I heard one sentence... .

"It's not too late to leave", I didn’t hear the next sentence clearly, and then

"Good luck"

I actually didn't react right now, but when I walked back to the machine, I kept wondering if he really said that sentence? If it is... it seems that he is very clear about the style and operation of this company, and he should also be very clear that my future life will probably be like this. Yes, it's the same as what I have evaluated over the past few months! Generally speaking, it is difficult for American machines to enter the Asian market. Usually, Japanese, Korean or Taiwanese machines have a relatively high market share. In addition, the manufacturers I managed before have also developed similar functions. Just upgrade on the old machine. How do our machines compete with them in the Taiwan market? In addition, the few cases that the business executive recently talked about are either in Singapore or South Korea, I really will fly to the end!

A friend of mine used to work here as a business manager. He said that he went to Singapore for a month and then returned to Taiwan a day later and was called to Thailand...WTF!

I went to work overtime at the company on Saturday, and I asked Master how long is his longest business trip?

Three weeks.

I clearly remember that Michelle told me before I set off that she felt it was not safe even at home, because Baaba was not at home and she felt 100% safe as long as she was around Baaba.

I clearly remember that Michelle also hugged me and told me: "Don't go on a business trip, don't leave!"

So I have decided, I want to end this farce! After completing this task.