Met and lost

It's been a long time since I've been in touch with you, and I'm taking the liberty of writing to you this time.

　　I remember when you and I were together, you always laughed at my pedantry, at the fact that I was always living in the memories of the past. I always laughed at you for living in the future and not really paying attention to the present. The future is after all too unreal, like a mirage, unattainable. Today, with modern communications so advanced, I still write to you in the oldest, most primitive way with my pen in my hand, and this time I hope you won't laugh at me anymore. Perhaps, as you said, a person like me is too drunk on the past, too fixed on the past that sentiment, will eventually be abandoned by the tide of the times. I'm sorry! In fact, how can I not complain and blame myself?

　　I remember telling you that something in my bones has seeped into my soul, and I can't escape it for the rest of my life, and I can't be as dashing and carefree as you. I always feel that reality is a big, big net, wrapped tightly around me, so I can not breathe. I struggled hard, helpless, this may be destiny, destiny is unable to change things.

　　This is also like although your life is not that perfect, but you always face your life with a smile, because you know how beautiful your future, your future how bright, maybe there is a person destined to beckon to you in your front, waiting for your response. Your hope is in the future.

　　And what about me? And where is hope? The greatest sorrow in this world is to stand in the present, but can not see the future, do not know which direction to go, and where the road is? I don't like to moan, don't like to express myself too much, don't like to sell my cheap emotions, just a person silently guarding a loneliness and solitude, without words to go on. I always recall the past years, when a person's blood and passionate days, reading poetry, writing associations, reading become the most important things in life, ideals, values, meaning, the future often inadvertently slipped out of the mouth. How much I hope that one day I will be the center of attention of all the people who will respond to my call from the top. I thought I could travel all over the world with my ideals and achieve a perfect life, but I was wrong, the tragedy of Don Quixote was repeated in my body.

　　The passage of time does not transfer with the will of the person, time is long, like flowing water, soggy everything, polished everything, all the angles, hideous become smooth and shiny. I've forgotten the promises I made, I've forgotten the dreams and hopes I had, and I'm left with an empty shell wandering with the wind that doesn't know the direction, while the soul is looking at me in the sky, laughing dementedly, laughing at the cynic who used to be so proud and unbeatable is slowly falling, slowly coming to an end, slowly being buried by the years.

　　I know you have a lot of anguish in your heart, but I appreciate your attitude towards people, as long as I think of the time with you, I will be infected by your happiness and optimism. Remember I once told you that God will never treat a person who takes life seriously, when God closes a door for you, he will always open a window for you, your hope in the future, perhaps the road to happiness, need to go through the test of purgatory, you also said "the sky will come down on the people also, must first suffer its heart will ... ..."? ..."? The sun always shines after the storm, the clouds will never cover the sun, yes, they can't!

　　You and I met by chance, from a casual encounter you gave me so much, every day I have a grateful heart and your relationship, I have never in my heart silently bless you, no matter how things change, my a sincere heart will never change. Imagine your smile, imagine your naughty look, imagine you sometimes deliberately take me happy, angry, my heart will have a kind of inexplicable touch, sometimes deep inside will flood a trace of pain. I like the kind of wife and children hot bed life, you are sometimes very unimpressed with my way of life, perhaps this is after the vicissitudes of a most reasonable and simple way of life, but also perhaps in front of life I have lowered the proud head, have been accustomed to compromise, comply with. I already have everything I should have, life has loved me a lot, I have a beautiful wife who loves me, a lovely and healthy daughter, perhaps the biggest dream in this life has become a past tense, was completed by me, what can not be satisfied?

　　For the future, you once naively asked me what to do, I did not answer you, in fact, I have a heart like water, simple living, ordinary life! Although sometimes there is a little uneasiness and resentment in my heart. I am always so contradictory sometimes, this may be the nature! I often ask myself: who are you? A lot of people are living the same as you, what are you not satisfied with? Perhaps, life has not treated you well, but you have failed life!

　　You know what? My daughter is almost a month old, how I hope she is not always thinking like me in her future life, because that would be very unhappy and uncomfortable. Live heartlessly, live happily and live healthily. Asking why about everything will only bring you endless worries and troubles, live a little more real!

　　I don't know why I always delay in fantasy, maybe I really old reason, I know I may have brought you a lot of trouble, of course, there is also a lot of joy, no matter how met, met, mutual appreciation, always in their lives left a lot of traces, this is enough. For the future, we have no promises between each other, everything to the future, let time to test it! I hope I don't bore you with the ordinary passersby in my life. I hope it doesn't make you feel worried, confused and annoyed! No too many promises, but I know a lifetime will never forget you, somewhere inside forever leave you a place, an important place!

　　Putting aside this pen, I wish you peace, prosperity and joy from afar! Hold your hand!