Men

To every toxic man in my life,

Thank you for making this easy for me.

From very early on, you showed me who you really are. When you bullied me in high school, when you held me against the wall and pelted me with slurs, when you screamed "geek" in my face, when you humiliated me, when you tried to shove writing utensils up my ass and called me queer—it created an opportunity for me to define myself by opposition to your world. After all, you have so few options as a young man. You can either drink that toxic Kool-Aid, swallow that pill, make yourself a part of the disease like a self-replicating virus, or you can fight it. Thank you for making the boys' club so unappealing and unwelcoming from the start.

Thank you to all the boys who witnessed the bullying and joined in. You can all fuck yourselves.

This part isn't for you. (Thank you to the girl who tried to stand up for me in PE class. You were the only one who did. I remember how vehemently you told off a boy twice your size. The image of you screaming at him with your finger in his face will always stay with me. Few things inspired me more from a young age to be a better man than your moral outrage and courage. Thank you.)

Thank you for talking shit about the girl who stood up for me from the safety of the boy's locker room. Swaggering braggadocio might have been your intent, but no amount of bluster could veil your cowardice. Thank you for showing everyone exactly who you are.

And speaking of people I love and respect, thank you for using the word feminazi to describe powerful, vocal women. Every time you did, standing tall on my side of the line you drew in the sand meant standing for gender equality. It meant standing shoulder to shoulder with badass women, and I regret nothing.

In a similar vein, thank you for demonizing the women who have the courage not to make themselves feel small so you can feel big. It helps the rest of us know who the real heroes are. And I know you hate them for making you feel small, but frankly, you are small. An invertebrate little shit—that's all you aspire to.

Thanks for never picking up a book unless it was written by Jordan Peterson, dumbass.

Thank you for all your stupid, laughable flexes. Your machismo has, at times, brought me immense joy (I'm laughing at you, not with you, just to be clear).

Thank you for blaming the victims of sexual harassment and sexual assault. Never has it been more clear whose side your are on. Never have I hated you more. You make it so easy for me to want to be nothing like you. Then you have the nerve to turn around and claim you are the one protecting women and children. You're the one they're afraid of, asshole. And for good reason.

Thank you for voting for Donald Trump all three times he ran for president, moron.

Speaking of which, I remember back in 2017, when the footage of the Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville hit the news. The KKK had rebranded itself as the "alt-right." There are always those willing to carry the flame (in this case, tiki-torch) of prejudice and hatred. You have always been among them. An angry face in an ignorant crowd.

I remember, shortly after the Unite the Right rally, sitting across from you, having a conversation about civil rights. I remember how passionately you defended the alt-right's freedom of speech and freedom of assembly. Even though they're the ones who plowed through a crowd in a mustang, killing and injuring anti-fascist protestors.

Sure, dude. You're a real patriot.

By the way, thanks for making it easy to take a stand against fascism and intolerance. (To anyone else reading this, don't ever feel bad about punching a Nazi right in the face; it's one of the few things Indiana Jones did right.)

Thank you for showing me so often and so clearly that your version of masculinity is not for me. It has truly helped me define myself.

Thank you for your degradation. Your violence. Your selfishness. Your abuse. Thank you for making it so fucking clear that your brand of masculinity is the last thing this world needs.

Thank you for starting literally every war ever.

Thanks for nothing.

Now, fuck off. I hope your kind goes extinct. You have no power.

Sincerely,

An every-day, ordinary man.