Married. And Single.

I've been hearing a lot these days about married men who cheat. That’s not news to me, but there are some who apparently have been under a rock and have never heard of such a thing. Well, the story usually goes like this: The husband gets caught. Then the wife usually gets on social media claiming how the woman he cheated with is a hoe, slut bucket, and numerous other things. Her follower’s then cheers for the wife, because how the hell did she get cheated on? They bash the woman he cheated with and wonder how she could do such a thing. According to social media, you have a perfectly happy family and which you have declared that your husband is King, all for us to see and he cheated with a young, beautiful tart? Say it ain't so. I do not mean to make light of a situation that has the potential to change lives, create loss and make you reconsider ever getting married, however, let’s not pretend that cheating does not happen and many times the culprit is a married man.

Then boom! You find out not only has he been cheating, but he has financed this miscellaneous chick with a condo, car, and access to the same funds you get. How dare her to enjoy the bulk of our earnings! Ok, maybe you spread your legs a little further than she did in order to attain your status as a wife. But she is still getting the best of your husband, with little thought to a family life, bills, or any kind of responsibility that your hubby makes out to be a tedious chore with you. It's the everlasting party filled with great sex, drinks, and an incredible payment of time and attention that he no longer gives you.

So, who's fault is it really when your husband decides to step out? When a man steps outside of his marriage, it is either has something to do with the home or nothing at all. Maybe he is just an asshole and liked the fact that someone else is showing him attention. A man’s ego can be tamed with a compliment, smile and some cleavage. Married men are the easiest of prey, especially if he is not happy. But with certain men, he will cheat even if he is content in his relationship or marriage. If he likes variety, he can have it; especially if he has the currency to create illusions. Those women who are married to men who are subpar that nobody wants but you, no need to worry, you are in no real danger. It's the husbands with money and power that attracts the cleverest of concubines.

From the young naïve girls to the old experienced brods, they all are making it amazingly easy to access. From the lowest of the low, to the highest of the high, they all have a common goal. A cheater with millions is apparently hard to say no to. A woman is usually not the one that does all the chasing. It’s more than likely that your husband that is cheating, did the pursuing, just like he probably did you. He tells her the same lies that he tells you. He feels her head with all the things that makes you look like the enemy and makes her seem like the hero coming to save him from, guess who? You. He makes her feel comfortable with laying with your King, so what he pays for her silence, is she really the blame?

We all want to feel something with our connections, it's part of the human experience, but at what cost? I am in no way condoning cheating on anyone's part, but we must be clear about the source of the demise. How we define relationships is not the same as it was 10 years ago, and in another 10 years, it will be something else. Maybe you are ok with him having variety, as long as your black card doesn’t turn red. What I do know is that it is more human to be attracted to several different things, than just one. Put the blame in its proper place when you are faced with a cheater in your relationship.