Marriage entails sacrificing your comfort

Fred got married to Anita on the 30th day of March 2018. The wedding was graced by individuals across all strata of classes in society.

The new couple was sprayed money and presented a lot of gifts.

They were so excited and recounted moments before that day to each other in the classical gossipy dispositions of celebrants before the gaze of a crowd.

The day was a success. It was a scene of 'a happy life thereafter.'

Meanwhile, an uncertain 'thereafter' had just commenced.

As usual, the life of marriage started well as Fred and Anita were always together as they visited families, friends, and neighbors and graced weddings, naming, and other ceremonies in like spirit.

Eleven months into the marriage, Anita gave birth to triplets as the same was greeted with a lot of pleasantries, prayers, and well wishes.

As the period of incubation of the triplets lasted in the hospital, since they were delivered in their seventh month and were still fragile, the exhaustion of hospital stay, expenses and care for the children started taking its toll on husband and wife.

Fred started complaining of driving the long distance from home and having to contend with preparing meals and bringing over toiletries and clothing's over to his wife and the growing infants.

Anita was equally complaining of Fred not being around to assist her with caring for the infants while they are being breastfed or needing attention.

Situations got worse as at times, Fred would intentionally make late returns to the hospital to exert how important his schedules to the care of Anita and infants were and Anita would reciprocate similar exertion by reminding Fred about how important she stay in the hospital is to the survival of the children.

The same trend continued until the triplets were strong and well - developed for home care. Hence, they were eventually discharged.

Following up on the already soar relationship, as a reason for trying to exert themselves and failing to make sacrifices for each other, Fred and Anita started to gradually become two strangers habiting the same house.

When Anita would struggle to take care of the kids, she expected Fred to help with some home chores and run errands for the family.

Fred on the other hand felt Anita's demands of him were preposterous and out of place for a man to carry out.

As this coursed on, Anita was able to buy an SUV from the savings she has been putting up to help them with getting a befitting car for their conveyance and those of the triplets.

She then pleaded with Fred to help out with getting papers for the car from relevant particulars and registration authorities; this he helped out with but had his name on the registration papers.

This act sparked a big quarrel between the two and brought about divorce being threatened by the couple.

Thereafter, little issues would cause reactions that are not reciprocal to a wrong done by either Fred or Anita.

Fred now started staying out late, not caring for the family, beating up his wife at any slight provocation, having extra-marital affairs, among other unsacrificing tendencies.

Anita too would lock him out of the house when he stays late, refuse to cook for him, won't greet him, refuse him using her car, among other acts that amounted to her being unsacrificing.

As this continued, family members, friends, and work colleagues tried all they could to make Fred and Anita's marriage work to no avail. This went on for up to a year and the situation was not abetting.

To make the marriage work, Jeremiah one day called Anita, who is a sister-in-law, and advised her to see a clergyman, whom she and Fred both respect, to help them solve their marital issues.

He made her understand that, except for the clergy, it would be difficult for anyone around them not to try to help without having some level of bias in their compounded issues.

But where the mediator is a clergy, they have the tendency of hearing from an unbiased umpire, who after they pour out all their grievances, would help them out.

After being reluctant for up to three months, Anita decided to give the advice meted by her brother-in-law a try by visiting the Pastor of their church to relate their marital problems to him.

Eventually, the Pastor invited them over to his house to counsel them out of their marital challenges.

In all that he discussed with them, the summary he recounted is that being sacrificial in marriage is what will help sustain peace in their home.

He stressed that when in marriage, the same deprives you of a lot of things that you would willingly want to indulge in, but for sacrifice, you stay away from such.

He stressed that no responsible man should keep very late hours outside his home for no genuine reason.

No man should lay his hands on his wife for flimsy, trivial, or even serious reasons.

The woman should learn to accept the fact that whatever is hers is also his and vice versa.

That respecting her husband is a responsibility that goes with marriage.

And the Pastor rounded up by encouraging them to always see praying together as a mandatory responsibility; no matter how aggrieved they are towards each other when faced with contending issues and happy moments

With this, Fred and Anita have been able to weather the first storm that almost wrecked their marriage.

This way, they have been able to appreciate the fact that being sacrificial in marriage goes a long way in making it work.