Mark Manson's Models Vs. Ben Yareem's The Last Game

I’ve read countless books about seduction and dating for men. Been there, done that with all things men related. The pipeline of young men who need advice to navigate the world of relationships is everlasting, and the market is evergreen. It’s really difficult to navigate through the noise and find solid advice instead of total rubbish. Most pickup artists’ techniques, tricks and ideas are rubbish. Let’s not even begin with the toxicity you’ll encounter in some male spaces.

Amidst the noise exists two pieces of work that stand alone, and which offer a new perspective on relationships. The very well-known and established Models by Mark Manson and the less known and dark horse of dating, The Last Game by Ben Yareem. The intriguing thing is that these authors offer two directions that exist in diametrical opposition. So what are the points of agreement and contention between the two authors.

Models on Amazon

The Last Game on Amazon

POINTS OF AGREEMENTS

1: Don’t try to be someone else

Mark Manson: “Until you learn to trust your own actions and learn to pursue women with your own unique style and personality, you have learned absolutely nothing.”

Ben Yareem: “You don’t have to follow the typical image of the extroverted man with charisma to get laid or get caught in this idea that you should talk, behave or dress in a certain way to attract women…. Even if you look like Sponge Bob or you are going to buy lemonade with your sleep clothes, there is a woman there somewhere who thinks you are intriguing. She sees something valuable in you, even when you don’t see it in yourself. Value is relative to the woman. The varied criterion is the reason why you probably know a relationship between two people — a relationship that simply dazzles you because if you believe that only a certain type of people get to have sex or to be in relationships; those couples should not exist.”

2: Be Responsible

Mark: “But when you practice taking responsibility for everything that happens in your life, you stop blaming others. It becomes less a question of blame and more a question of sacrifice. It’s no longer their fault that you’re still single because they’re all cold bitches, but now it’s your fault and a question of whether you’re willing to sacrifice the extra effort or not to find a woman who isn’t a cold bitch. Taking responsibility and morphing blame into sacrifice empowers you.”

Ben:“ Responsibility is the existential burden of men”

3: Don’t be needy

Both Mark and Ben agree on being secure and not needy, but they disagree on how to achieve that.

Mark: “The key to non-neediness is to have both: respect for both oneself and for women.”

“Hopefully, you’re catching on by now: it’s intention. What is your intention? Are you trying to impress her (needy) and therefore bragging? Or are you sharing yourself (vulnerability) and therefore polarizing her?”

Ben: “If your emotional jar is lacking some elements of relational needs (validation, acceptance, appreciation, etc.), you would seek nurture from women and end up usually hurt. You read everywhere the motto “don’t be needy” but how do you exactly become “not needy”. You become sufficient by fulfilling your unmet needs from different sources. It is the simple adage of “don’t put all your eggs in one basket”. Form good relationships with social circles, build good routines and habits and socialize with new people. Be ready to experience life, cherish every moment of joy and keep hustling against every moment of pain. Pop your bubble of comfort and always enrich your perspective. You have skin in the game but without nothing to lose. You will become mentally strong and fearless. You will become unblackmailable and that is my friend, how you get pussies wet for you.–

POINTS OF CONTENTION

1: Vulnerability

Mark: “Vulnerability — Being unguarded or undefended in expressing one’s thoughts and emotions. Most men hide the thoughts and emotions they believe will make them less attractive. This forces them to behave conditionally and base their behaviors on the beliefs and perceptions of those around them. This is unconfident behavior and ultimately makes them unattractive. Paradoxically, making oneself vulnerable and surrendering to criticism and not expecting anything in return from others causes one to build self-esteem, become more confident and more attractive.”

Ben: “Women hate a complaining, whining man. Telling her your problems will only bring more problems. She cannot handle all the stress and negativity; she will be supportive at first. However, with all the negative energy you are bringing she will bounce — she will leave, even though you were there for her in the middle of her many problems. When men face stress, they prepare for a fight or flight situation, and once the danger fades, they calm down and move on. Women in stressful situations seek emotional support and bonding. Tending, befriending, and letting all out. In other words, if you are the stressor, she will avoid you and seek external support.”

What Mark says is, don’t be afraid of being an emotional being because you are indeed. Whereas Ben says, the woman you intend to attract is also an emotional being and there is a limit to the amount of vulnerability she can tolerate. Too much vulnerability is counterproductive.

2: Positivity Vs Realism

The main difference I noticed the most is that Mark Manson’s Models is a cheerful, positive read which makes it more digestible for the taste of the mainstream while The last Game is a more based, complex read. The Last Game covers seduction and dating from the angles of history, pickup artistry, psychology and socioeconomic. But in a casual tone.

Summary: I personally slightly prefer the last game. It suits my dark truth seeking nature, but models isn’t far behind because both the authors agree that what makes a relationship work eventually is Trust, Compatibility and Respect. Both Men and women alike seek to find a partner who share those values.