MAGA at the Pearly Gates

MAGA AT THE PEARLY GATES

Maga: Praise Jesus! I'm so glad to be here.

GOD: It’s preliminary. I’ve got some questions for you. Did you attend church regularly?

Maga: At least once a month, plus holidays.

GOD: Did you pay attention?

Maga: Absolutely, praise Jesus!

GOD: Did you regularly help the poor? Give money to beggars? Donate weekly to food pantries? Offered warmth and love?

Maga: Well, I think they need to learn to stand on their own two feet instead of taking advantage of others. So, I did regularly donate to charities who saw that my hard-earned money was used appropriately. You know, not given to those people take advantage of the system and don't deserve it.

GOD: How did they take advantage of you and the system?

Maga: They used my tax money to buy frivolous junk food, yet I saw them driving fancy cars and using expensive smartphones. Clearly, they were irresponsible.

GOD: Okay… You do realize that I mentioned several times in the Bible that you're meant to help others and not judge, right?

Maga: Yes, but surely you didn't mean those people.

GOD: Those people?

Maga: You know, the ones who are lazy and exploit the system.

GOD: So, you judged them?

Maga: Well, someone had to. They were clearly taking advantage.

GOD: Hmm. How do you know this for sure?

Maga: It was obvious, like a neon sign flashing “look here!” Gimme. Gimme. Gimme. They were all drug users, unwed mothers and prostitutes.

GOD: Jesus did not marginalize prostitutes and other sinners. He helped them. So, your argument holds no water. We’ll just note here in your report that you felt justified in playing my role as judge. Sound fair?

Maga: No, no, no! That’s not what I meant!

GOD: Sorry, but I’m the final judge here, and I see you didn’t treat others the way I distinctly instructed you to.

Maga: No, you don’t get it!

GOD: Do you really think you can tell me what I do and do not "get" or understand? You are not my equal. That’s a clear violation of the First Commandment: “Thou shalt have no other gods before Me,” which includes thinking you’re on my level. We’ll mark that down too.

Maga: I disagree with that.

GOD: I couldn’t care less about your disagreement. It’s not your place to challenge Me. I am the ultimate judge. Now, let’s move on. Did you slander or speak ill of others, perhaps enjoying the damage it caused to their reputation?

Maga: No way, not me!

GOD: Really? You might want to rethink your truthfulness.

Maga: Well, I might have ribbed them a bit... just for fun!

GOD: Fun? Slander is a wicked game, brimming with malice. It’s no laughing matter.

Maga: But others laughed! Why is that on me?

GOD: The reactions of the crowd are irrelevant. They do not give you a free pass. This is about YOUR transgressions.

Maga: Okay, but let’s be real… they totally deserved it!

GOD: Deserved? They were a mirror, reflecting your own capacity for compassion and empathy. Instead of embracing the divine lessons of kindness and love that my son and I have been tirelessly teaching you, you chose to mock and humiliate. And now you think that gives you a right? I’m afraid that’s a bold miscalculation. Another strike against you.

Maga: No way, that’s not fair!

GOD: Do you understand what I am saying? I see a distinct pattern here where it looks like your personal interests, and self-righteous judgment overshadowed My commandments regularly. Is that right?

Maga: No, I was faithful!

GOD: The evidence tells a different story. Now, let’s shift gears. Have you ever lied or twisted the truth with the aim of hurting someone?

Maga: Well... maybe. But you don’t get it! My parents had issues—my dad was a monster, and my mom? She was no saint either. They left scars on me!

GOD: And how did you respond to that pain?

Maga: I guess I let it fester!

GOD: So, instead of rising above, you let their darkness seep into your choices.

Maga: I didn’t know any better!

GOD: But you actually did. All humans are given the choice of following free will or God's will. Self-pity and unaccountability are free will choices. So again, did you ever lie or spread harmful mistruths?

Maga: No way! I always told the truth!

GOD: Are you really sure about that? Because I've got a mountain of evidence here—your social media posts, which are overflowing with half-truths and outright fabrications. And when facts called you out? You resorted to name-calling of the ones I sent to guide you. Do you want to take a look? (offers a towering binder) And trust me, I’ve got a lot more where this came from.

Maga: Look, some of it was just... partially untrue! Those scenarios could have happened, even if they didn’t! They had the potential to happen even if they didn’t!

GOD: But you sold those wild tales as absolute truths! That’s classic lying, my friend.

Maga: But they could have happened! Just like the fables in the Bible!

GOD: Fables are crafted to impart wisdom, not to deceive. They inspire and elevate humanity, while your stories were weapons designed to inflict pain and create chaos. You turned false potential into poison! What’s your excuse for that?

Maga: (Quiet for a change)

GOD: You don’t have an excuse, do you? Let’s move on.

Last March, you stopped to get gas at a convenience store in Houston. Do you remember a young woman with two children sitting outside in the sweltering 100-degree heat, with no food or water? Did you check if they were okay or needed anything?

Maga: I don’t remember.

GOD: No, you did not. I even sent you a gentle prompt to buy them bottles of water and hand them over as you were leaving, but instead, you laughed it off, dismissing it as weakness on their part. That mother and her children were angels watching, hoping you’d seize the moment to do something good. Can you explain that to me?

Maga: Well, I didn’t think they needed my help. There was a clerk in the store who could have called social services and didn’t.

GOD: This wasn’t a test for the clerk; it was a test for you. Why did you simply walk past that small family with no concern at all?

Maga: I couldn’t help everyone.

GOD: The thing is you never helped anyone. You had the means to buy three bottles of water, and to offer a smile with a kind word. That wouldn’t have cost a thing. It could have turned their day around. What was stopping you?

Maga: I just didn’t feel responsible for them.

GOD: But you were there, witnessing their struggle. Sometimes, being responsible means showing compassion to those in need, even when we think we can't help everyone. Every little act of kindness matters.

Maga: I guess I didn’t think it would make a difference.

GOD: But it could have. Small acts create ripples. You could’ve given them hope when they needed it most. Wouldn’t you want someone to do the same for you if the roles were reversed?

Maga: I suppose so, but in that moment, I just didn’t see it.

GOD: It’s about awareness and choice. It’s important to be mindful of the circumstances of others, to open your heart and recognize their plight. Think of how it would feel to receive kindness when you’re at your lowest.

Maga: You're right. I didn’t think about it that way.

GOD: It’s never too late to learn and grow. Every moment is another opportunity to change the course of your actions for the better. How can you ensure that next time, you’re more aware and willing to help?

Maga: I can try to be more present and considerate. Maybe I can challenge myself to act when I see others in need.

GOD: That’s a great start! Compassion can change lives—both yours and others. Remember, even small gestures can create significant impacts. Ready to seize the next chance that comes your way?

Maga: There is only so much a person can do to help before they start to harm themselves though. You have to take care of yourself.

GOD: My word is crystal clear: we are called to help one another and have faith in me to care for you. Yet, you seem to struggle with that concept.

Maga: I did help, I donated to the church and various charities.

GOD: Ah, yes, donations—complete with tax write-offs. So, as long as there’s something in it for you, you’re willing to give? That’s not the lesson I intended. I think I’ve seen enough of this. What do you believe I should do about it?

Maga: Just let me into heaven so I can be with my family!

GOD: And what makes you so sure your family is here?

Maga: What? Are they in hell?

GOD: There’s no hell like you imagine it. But there are consequences to our choices, and yes, like you, they are facing theirs.

Maga: What does that even mean?

GOD: It means your actions matter! There is a reckoning for every bit of selfishness and indifference. Your family may not be in torment, but they are navigating their own journey, just as you must. Are you prepared to confront the reality of your heart and the choices you’ve made?

Maga: I don’t deserve consequences! I’m a Christian!

GOD: That’s not how this works. You had countless chances to learn and grow during your lifetime, but you missed the mark. Think of it like school—you didn’t pass, so now you must retake the course.

You’ll return to relive your life, but this time, you have two paths to choose from. You can either embrace a toxic free will, where you’ll face the very challenges, you scoffed at … watch your children go to bed hungry, experience eviction, confront illness without care, endure mockery, and lose your job. This cycle will continue until you truly learn your lessons.

Or, you can return to your life with the same opportunities to be kind or cruel, helpful or hurtful, but here’s the catch: you won’t know which path you’ll walk until you’re in it. Choose wisely. You are excused.

****

I know this will seem silly, and maybe pretentious to some and childish to others, but ultimately our actions matter! We need to remember that God’s will comes first and we can’t rewrite his words to make our ego and self-importance feel relevant.

And although forgiveness is hard, (I struggle with this also), we must forgive others and forgive ourselves. That doesn’t mean we forgive them and allow them access to mistreat us again, but we let go with love to God.

I was going to back this article up with scriptures, but the lesson I am sharing here is that no matter what side of the political spectrum you fall on, it is not your place to judge others or make their lives more difficult because it makes you feel good.

We are here to love each other, be kind, be compassionate and be empathetic (despite Charlie Kirk’s heinous opinions).

God will judge us all.