Love, The Vaccine & Other Drugs, Part 3

The pandemic has bridged us both together and apart in many ways. The biggest divide besides social isolation, death, and distance is that of moral values. The following story reflects how the moral dilemma between freedom and social responsibility has interfered in our intimate relationships.

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A Shot In the Dark

Year 2021; August. Tim, 35, scheduling Covid vaccine on his phone. Olivia, 32, rolling up yoga mat and getting water from kitchen.

Olivia: Why am I going to inject myself with something that hasn’t even had the time to be properly tested yet? I’m perfectly healthy. In fact, I can’t even remember the last time I was sick. I’m pretty sure that if my immune system managed to stay afloat during a pandemic, that I don’t really need any vaccine to protect me.

Tim: Yes, you are in fact the incredible Hulk. She who cannot be destroyed.

Olivia: It’s a question of choice Tim. Take care of your body, stay healthy, and you won’t need to depend on all these artificial substances. Which, by the way, are probably responsible for all these ‘new variants’ out there…

Tim: You do realize not everyone has the same opportunities and access to a healthy lifestyle, right? Also, really? Did you just suggest that the vaccine is responsible for the virus mutations?

Olivia: Why do you always have to make this political. It’s not always political, you know. Sometimes it’s just simple. Eat clean. Move your body. Stop binging on fast food. Easy.

Tim: I’m not even going to begin to deconstruct how not “simple” and “easy” that is. Do you think your rich vegan diet with extra supplements is cheap? Do you think people working 3 jobs come home with time and energy to cook up a nutritious and balanced meal with fresh and organic produce? Do you really think —

Olivia: Fine! I get your point! But that’s not my problem Tim. That came off wrong… What I mean is I can’t be constantly worried about all the shit that goes on in the world. I have enough anxiety as it is. The world isn’t fair. I’m just trying to do my part and stay healthy.

Tim: And you realize that healthy people get Covid too, right? Healthy people who are young and don’t have any pre-existing conditions.

Olivia: What proof is there that they were really healthy though? That’s what the media reports, but I bet you they had some undiscovered debilitating condition, or they were overweight, or something.

Tim: So anything that I say I need to substantiate with multiple sources of proof, but all your conspiracy theories need no credible backup because you are just right?

Olivia: (pours more water into glass) I feel like I can’t talk to you. You just manipulate every word I say!

Tim: Yes, that’s it. I’m the bad guy. The manipulator. The one who strips you of your individual rights to believe what you want. The one who doesn’t respect your feelings.

Olivia: And now you’re a victim, you poor thing! Seriously Tim…

Tim: You know what your problem is?

Olivia: No, what’s my problem? Enlighten me oh wise one… (rolling eyes)

Tim: You only think about your damn self! It’s all about your rights and your freedom. Who cares if someone gets Covid, who cares if you get Covid, who cares about the health care professionals who have been burned out and overworked since this whole thing started! None of that matters, right? Because it’s all about you! Your choice. Your feelings. You. You. YOU!

Olivia: (throws remaining water into sink) Oh well that’s just great isn’t it!? Gosh you’re just so communal and liberal, aren’t you? Going on marches and supporting the whole “my body, my choice” movement, but now that I say “my body, my choice” you don’t want to hear it! Such a fucking hypocrite!

Tim: (shouting) How is that even the same thing?! Not having a baby doesn’t put people in danger!

Olivia: Not getting vaccinated doesn’t either! Other people can get jabbed if they’re concerned, but what does it even matter if I don’t? The only person at risk is me! I’m not hurting anyone, fucking hell!

Tim: But you are! You can pass on larger amounts of the virus if you’re not vaccinated. And the vaccine is not some miracle potion, it just decreases the risk, so your decision still affects others. If anything, your getting the virus and needing to be hospitalized will be a burden for health care professionals who have barely seen their families for over a year, let alone the light of day! Can you not find some common ground and see the bigger picture here? Why do you have to be such an extremist?!

Olivia: Oh I’m the extremist?! You’re basically saying that if I don’t get vaccinated that I am an asshole. You don’t care that I’m scared, or worried, or have doubts. You just care that you’re right, and I’m wrong. That you’re this martyr and I’m this rotten person who doesn’t care about anyone but themselves. It’s like you don’t even know me!

Tim: I really feel like I don’t. We’ve been together for 6 years, and you were the last person I expected to be having this argument with.

Olivia: That’s the problem Tim — this shouldn’t be an argument. It should be a conversation. How can I talk to you about my feelings if you just put me into a box because I don’t feel what you feel? I feel like I don’t recognize you!

Tim: Babe, I’m not putting you in a box. I’m sorry if I made you feel that way. I’m just tired, angry, confused, and upset. I want to hear you out, I really do. It’s just that I think this is bigger than us. The whole world is going down in flames.

Olivia: I know it is. It’s a whole fucking moral dilemma every day. Where does my personal freedom end and social responsibility begin? Do you think I don’t ask myself that every day? I do Tim, I really do.

Tim: But you never talk about it! You just tell me you’re sick of this and that you don’t want to be forced into doing something you don’t want to do. How am I supposed to know about your inner dilemma if you don’t tell me about it?

Olivia: Well don’t you trust me? Don’t you know me enough by now to know I’m not a bad person?!

Tim: Oh don’t fucking go there! You know that is a shit excuse. If you want me to know something about you, tell me, don’t expect me to guess and assume. I won’t do that.

Olivia: So what’s the point of this relationship if you don’t even know me?

Tim: Really? Is that what I just said? That I don’t know you?

Olivia: Basically… I mean in other words. The bottom line is you don’t trust me, and I don’t know if I can be with someone who doesn’t trust me.

Tim: Wow. Way to twist shit into something else. Just stop being a coward and tell me how you really feel already! What is it that scares you about this fucking vaccine? What are you so afraid of that every time I bring it up it turns into this same fucking fight?!

Olivia: (sobbing uncontrollably) I don’t want to lose my independence okay?! I’m terrified of not knowing what’s in my body! I don’t want to fucking DIE Tim, okay?! Happy now?!

Tim: (holds Olivia in arms) Babe I don’t want to die either. I don’t want to lose my independence either. My freedom is important to me too. But fighting the system is not the answer. We are all fighting the same battle here, and the more we think we are all against each other the worse this will be! Can you see that?

Olivia: I can but it’s hard Tim! This is just so hard! People have died from this vaccine! I’m only 32! I’m too young to die!

Tim: Babe you’re not gonna die. Most of those statistics have nothing to do with the vaccine, they are just of people who happen to have died of other causes after haven took the vaccine.

Olivia: How can you be so sure?

Tim: We have to trust something babe. And I’d rather not wait and have you get Covid. You could wind up in the hospital and I could lose you. I don’t want to lose you! (throat constricts) We don’t know the side effects of Covid either. I just want us to be safe. I want us to be okay.

Olivia: (sobbing) Me too. But I’m scared Tim.

Tim: I am too babe. I am too.