Love Letter to the Weights in my Living Room
Love can be heavy sometimes
To the weights in my living room...I don’t hate you. I want us to be friends. I want us to hang out everyday and have a good relationship like we used to. Whether you mean to or not, you remind me daily of everything that I am not doing. I am not working out, I am not getting stronger. I am not taking care of myself the way that I should. You sit there so patiently, waiting. Like a well behaved kid, watching me, just waiting for me to get your juice. I see you, I see you watching me. You don’t judge me, but you make me judge myself. When are we going to get past this awkwardness? Everyday I think to myself, today is the day that I will do it. I will pick you up, flex and pull, lift you high above my head and feel so accomplished when I am done. I will become the badass b*tch that I aspire to be. But then the day comes and goes and you sit there. I go about my day and my night. Cooking unhealthy meals, cleaning (well actually the husband cleans), washing the laundry but never folding it, working, taking care of the kids, the needy dog, scrolling on my phone for hours watching mom tik toks and sending them to everyone, watching meaningless tv, eating everything from healthy to junk food and going about my everyday habits of which you are not a part of. The seasons and the holidays pass, month to month, year to year and rarely do you move except for the occasionally dusting. Maybe I am being dramatic. This year 2021 was pretty good at the beginning. We started off well and I was beginning to notice a difference but now, here we are in November and it’s like we don’t even know each other. You’ve grown so cold, what happened to us? What is it going to take for us to connect again? I think about you daily and how happy we could be together if I just made you a priority. I know you would return the affection and things would continue to move in a positive direction. Maybe it’s the fear of failure, because so many times we have started and then faded out. Maybe I just don’t know where and how to start again. But it’s up to me, you are only there for me, literally doing nothing but waiting for me to make the first move, again. The possibilities with you are endless and maybe I should think the same about myself. I really like running and writing and I do those things. So why is it so hard to make time for you too? I will make this my declaration. From this day forward, I will clear my calendar out, get all the pretty markers to decorate and create a plan! I will put you on my calendar 3 to 5 days a week. We can’t fail again. I can’t wait for motivation, I am motivated as strange as that sounds. I am motivated and I want to put it into action.It must be discipline that keeps me going. I have heard that so many times and I know that it is true because I have done it before. But by before I mean, before kids and before aging so much. Before my bladder started leaking and my bones started aching. So, here we go. Are you ready? Are you with me? I am going to get my fancy water bottle, fill it up, throw my hair into a pony and it’s going down! YOU and ME, unstoppable baby! But right after my nap. Kidding, I'm kidding. LET'S GO!
About the Creator
Shanon Canuto
Originally from the mountains of NC. I enjoy writing, running, cooking, naps, traveling and spending time with my family. I love a good thunder storm and outdoor yoga.:)
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La Vida Colorida
She lived such a colorful life. I didn’t see it all first hand but the stories she would tell were full of adventure, humor and excitement. From singing at restaurants in Mexico, owning a bar in California and even a cab driver in Arizona, there was never a dull moment. When I see the Scarlet Macaw, I think of her. Just like the Macaw she was sociable and loud, love you Abuela! She has been gone for years now but she, and her language, were as colorful as the bird. Beautiful, graceful, smart and sassy, just like the Scarlet Macaw, she is my grandmother. Once someone is gone from this earth, they continue to live in us through memories. My grandmother was a fierce and beautiful light in the world eerily similar to this magnificent bird. I like to think that all the sassy Latina grandmothers come back as Scarlet Macaws. The colorful feathers are a reflection of their colorful lives, Vida Colorida. They are admired by many for their intelligence and beauty. They are elegant but will defend their families. Macaws, unlike other birds, will stay with their mate and together they will take care of the hatchlings. My grandmother had her own hatchlings, my mother being the eldest helped to take care of the younger ones while the parents worked. My grandmother was a master at any job she had but she would get bored and move on to something else. Incredibly intelligent and loved learning new things, like the Macaw, she never stayed in the same place for too long. Life is to be lived and enjoyed, she would say. She loved playing cards and any game really, where money was on the line. She lived dangerously and risky some might say, but it was calculated risks and she always came out on top. She showed my mother and other women in the family what it meant to be a strong, determined wife and mother while keeping her feminine elegance all the while. Like a scarlet macaw preening itself, Abuelita always had her hair, nails and makeup done. Grandmother always dressed to impress regardless of where she was going that day, or even if only to stay at home. She made sure that the house was tidy and clean, that the children were dressed and always doing their best, as expectations were a huge part of her successful mindset. Grandmother always knew her worth and expected fair compensation for work and services, just as a macaw learning new tricks would expect a reward each time something new is mastered. It is a marvelous thought to think all the Macaws are someone’s beloved grandmother, bold and full of spirit, flying over us to watch us and take care of the land. However, Macaws are endangered due to the declining rainforest and because of their brilliant colors and looks, they are being poached. We should protect and honor the birds and the land the way our grandmother’s protected and honored our families. I pray that I have made my grandmother proud, she certainly wasn’t afraid to tell you otherwise if you didn’t, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way. The Macaw is a reminder to me to keep living life to the fullest, to be bold and bright, don’t fall into being like everyone else. A reminder to be an individual and don’t compare yourself to anyone else. All of the birds are unique and fascinating in their own ways. Fly freely everyday and make the most of your colorful time here on this beautiful earth.
By Shanon Canuto4 years ago in Fiction
The Girl Who Blinked: How a Sixteen-Year-Old Stopped a Massacre by Trusting the Knot in Her Stomach
The true story of Emily Carson, the Colorado high school student who prevented a school shooting by noticing a subtle detail and reporting it, highlighting the power of situational awareness.
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