Love in a critical degree

Geminis often get a rap for being “two-faced”, “players”, “flaky”, “unreliable”- and while for some this may very well be true... for others this type of energy is simply a “trompe l`oeil”, a mere distraction, from what’s really lying beneath a false exterior.

My love for people has always been, in my opinion, one of my more obvious qualities... and yet it has often been to my demise. However, as much as it’s been an undoing to me, this love inside has also become an entrance, a gateway, a channel for rebirth.

I guess one could say that this happens to pretty much everyone.

Yet for me I found that the process has been quite exaggerated.

And so with a look into my astrological chart- I found that my love sector Venus was placed in a critical degree.

I won’t bore you with the details on how I discovered this... all I know is that I’m glad that I did.

It made me feel, well, for starters.. less... doomed.

I think if we can admit it, we all feel that way sometimes.. don’t we? Well maybe it’s just me.

Anyway, when I first picked up on this seemingly minute detail I thought “oh, great... so love is here to destroy me”.

But when I sat and thought about it a little more I realized that it on the one hand the answer to that was a big “yes” but at the same time it was also a big “not entirely”.

Love was here to reshape me. And I was here to be reshaped by love.

Not merely to be defined by it, or to be cursed or plagued by it.

But to be realized by it. Actualized by it. To be authenticated by it.

Because let’s admit- everything in this life that has brought us the most pain has actually served to make us more tangible, more real, more dense and weighty, more “3D” if you will... more “in living color”, and well just more... alive.

So this Venus in Gemini placement has yielded me many lovers, and many different kinds of lovers at that.

And as I loved them, I took on each of their skin.

The Gemini bit often gives off a “chameleon-y” vibe. But it’s more of a reshaping than it is of a mere mimicking or putting on a costume.

It’s more of a shape-shifting, a wanting to know what’s its like to actually be in their skin. To take on their traits, to adopt them as my own.

To learn, to grow, and to expand my essence, my aura, my command, my presence. To add these things, their essences, their traits, their skills, their tastes- to my arsenal.

I’m not sure if it’s because the Gemini part is in a critical degree that makes me feel this way... but I do in fact, feel.

On the one hand we Gemini folk are thinkers primarily and not feelers- but the truth is that we do feel. Behind that breezy, distant face expression, a lot is happening.

So yeah, maybe love for me seems a bit like I’m taste-tasting different candies running on a conveyor belt.

And yeah sometimes it felt like I turned into a blueberry for being too demanding or sucked into a pipe on the chocolate river for being too curious or greedy... haha but eventually I found my golden ticket like Charlie did. (Willy Wonka references lol)

And the golden ticket... was me. I found me. In the midst of this chocolate factory of life- I discovered myself.

And I began to love myself.

Each time more shamelessly than before. Each time just as deeply and passionately as the next.

And the more I learn to love myself, the more love I have to give the next time.

More and not less.

Some become more frigid and bitter after experiencing what I’ve endured in love.

But each time warmed me more.

I learn to be more selective of course. But mostly because the next ones always get a more potent dose.

So I have to be selective to see if they can handle it or not.

Love is sometimes like medicine, and medicine can range anywhere from food to antibiotics.

Antibiotics is for more of a potent and short term use, whereas food we need everyday.

To some my love was an antibiotic, and to others it was food. And vice versa.

And with some, I simply vacillate between the each extreme. It all depends on the person and experience.

Whatever the matter, love is a necessity in this life. And to others it’s critical.

And I’m glad I have it in a critical degree.

Gives life a little more “zest”, a little more “bite”. If you know what I mean, and if you’re reading this- I think you know.

Till next time-

Xoxo!