Loneliness

You know me. Sure, you do. I’m the woman at work. The one who is there, faithfully, every day. I do my job and do it well. I help you with your job. I pick up the slack where others have failed. I help my co-workers every time they ask, and sometimes when they don’t. I don’t join the office politics and I’m certainly not politically connected. I just do my job (and sometimes your job) and hope that I at least will still have a job. Mostly, I’m invisible, until you need me or until something didn’t get done.

You know me. Yeah, you do. I’m your close friend. I’m the one who is always there for you. Who remembers your birthday, your husband’s birthday, your kids’ birthdays and your grandkids’ birthdays. I support you in everything you do. I’m happy for you when you lose weight or get a new job. I cry with you when your heart is breaking. I check on you when you’re sick and bring you care packages. I drop everything when you need to talk. I never ask for anything in return. I don’t exist to you, though, until you need me.

You know me. Yeah, that’s me. The bubbly “friend” who organizes all the team sports and other outings, and takes on the responsibility of managing everything, making sure the fees get paid and that there are enough people at every game, that the restaurant serves gluten-free options for your special diet and that allergens are well posted. I stay positive and encouraging and make sure everyone gets a fair shot. I always invite you to play on my team, attend an event, or have a drink, even though you never return the favor. I’m a nobody, until you want something.

You know me. Yeah, it’s me. I’m your mother. The one who supports you in everything you do. Who drops everything to help you, anytime, day or night. I’ll give you my last dollar or the shirt off my back if you need it. I would do anything in the world for you. I’ve already given you my heart. I’d give you my life, if it meant you would live or if it would make you happy. I check in, just to see how you’re doing. I make time for you and make you a priority. I don’t judge or nag. I don’t ask for anything, except for you to take care of yourself and be happy. I don’t even cross your mind, until something goes wrong.

You know me. Remember? I’m your wife. I’ve stood beside you for over 35 years. I’ve encouraged you and cheered for you. I’ve been there for you through thick and thin. I encourage you to do the things you love and I always put your interests ahead of mine. I’ve loved and cared for your parents as if they were my own. I’ve helped your siblings, talked to them when you couldn’t, and showed them faith and hope. In return you belittle me, tell me not to start with you, tell me to stop my crying and suck it up, ignore me, and take away the things I love because they don’t fit your plan on how things should look. You care more about what everyone else thinks than about what I think.

You know me. Your actions make me feel like I’m nobody. That I don’t matter. That what I need or want is not important. As long as you get what you need from me, then I’m out of sight, out of mind. Yeah, you know me. But do you really?