Little Black Book

“I really do hope you “like” it, at the very least learn something!” Quipped the now young man standing in front of me.

I looked down at my hands which now look weathered and old, scattered with age spots and that damned little black notebook clutched in my fists.... why did I have to pick it off him? Now look what happened: he stole my youth and I have his old age.

I feel shorter than usual, only to realise that now I’m stooped over and oh the pain wracking my body, the stiff aching joints. Then as if from a distance I notice he isn’t cackling anymore but seems to be saying something of import, something about the terms of my “condition” and the $20,000 I live off of for the coming year as compensation for this life lesson. What...?? I’m so confused; too much is happening too fast and I can’t keep my thoughts straight and he’s walking off... what, oh what is happening right now? This has to be a really bad dream!! Me, an old person? I can’t even stand the looks of them - they should all be shuffled off somewhere, they’re always so slow and in the way, babbling about the good old days or whatever, like they are the only humans who ever existed that matter... please!!?

Wait!! What did he say?

“Stop!! What the hell’s going on? What did you say?” I hear an old raspy voice that seems to now be mine..? He keeps walking, seems so fast now as I try to keep up and catch up to him. “Stop, damn you!! Tell me what’s going on!!!?”

He barely turns his head as he rounds the corner and smirks, “It’s all in that notebook, “old man”. Maybe next time you won’t be so quick to discount someone. Boy am I glad my year is over!! I’ll never be so hasty to be so asenine again! You better learn quick or else this is the new you, mate! See you suckaaaa!?!?!”

“No. Wait, please!! Take this back! I learned my lesson, I won’t steal anymore!! Please!! I can’t live like this..!” I begin sobbing as I realise I’ve lost him in the crowd and I struggle over to a bench and slump down. I am so tired and winded... what the hell just happened???

The world around me seems to have come to a slow halt as I let this new reality sink in. I crack open the notebook with gnarled hands to see what’s in store for my new life and so, it begins. For all my dispassion against the eldest generation, I have to live as one of them and if I still harbor such dislike and disdain toward them when the one year is over, I do not regain my youth but instead have to live the rest of my now limited life as part of the aging population. If I do not learn to accept them as worthy human beings I can never return to my regular life as no one recognizes me, knows me as this “new version” of myself. If I still have no empathy or compassion this existence is my new and permanent reality.

I guess in retrospect it is a very apt lesson as they are my favorite people to pickpocket, to shove over as I’m in a hurry to my next appointment, they’re just so easy to blame as they’re too slow to escape that heated, bubbling wrath that overwhelms me whenever one is around.I can’t respect them as they let themselves become a shell of their former selves... or have they....?

I guess there is only one way to find out. I slowly ease myself off that bench and shuffle off home to see what life now has in store, but before I can even get to the street corner I get jostled by a young man in a hurry, nearly losing my balance on unsure feet and he’s shouting obscenities at me as he hurries on and oh that look of anger and disgust is oh too familiar to me. I sigh, gulp down some salty, snotty tears as I realised that young man used to be me. This is going to be a very long year. Only twenty minutes had passed since my own change. Just that one thought made me so weary and dispondent. I guess I better get on with it: 364 days 23 hours and 40 minutes more to go.

Sigh.