Life is hard, so laugh.

So, this one time, at band camp.... I kid. Seriously though, this one time a few years ago stands out in my mind as something out of a sitcom. Time for a little back story.

The year was 2015, New York. My husband and I had been trying to get pregnant for roughly 4 years. We had tried naturally to conceive for over 2 years. We were now commencing with fertility treatments. I had already had a few tests done to check my tubes and ovaries, now was hubby’s turn.

We pull up to the Dr.s office. It looks a little different this time. For some reason it looks like such an intimidating place today. Perhaps it’s just our nerves. We go inside where my husband is instructed to leave a specimen in a sample cup. They show him to the bathroom. He promptly comes out empty handed. I ask him what’s the matter. Apparently he can’t do the deed in the bathroom. Not sure if he’s embarrassed or if it’s because it really is a very unsanitary place to be trying to achieve such a task by yourself.

Cue the parking lot. Now we sit in the truck and discuss our options of how to get this sample. Apparently he has stage fright. Option 1, we got back in and he can man up and does what he has to in that bathroom using whatever he can find on the internet as motivation. Option 2 we March back in there and we both go into the bathroom and he can use me as motivation. Option 3 we call the whole thing a bust.

Turns out he has no desire to watch anything pornographic while seated in a OBGYN bathroom where a bunch of pregnant women are seated outside the door. I as well, have no desire to be his muse within those same circumstances. That only leaves option 3 we call it a bust. We live too far away from the office to do a sample from home for all those wondering why that’s not an option. There’s a window that they need the sample in.

As my husband gets ready to turn the truck on, I see a look come over his face. He turns and asks me to help him while in the truck, while in the parking lot. As I flash him my best I don’t fucking think so face, I can’t help but realize this is our only option. I will have to help my husband jerk off into a cup in a busy parking lot. Now don’t get me wrong I have a sense of adventure, so I’m not sure if it was the timing, place or reason for me, that was so off putting.

So here we are, inside his truck doing the deed. Looking pretty suspicious if I had to guess. Our eyes darting every which way to make sure no one sees us, ducking every time we saw someone. I don’t know if it actually took forever or just seemed to because of the circumstances, but my god that took forever. Now we have it! The other equivalent of liquid gold, at least in this circumstance.

We Marched back in that office proud of our accomplishment. Slapped that cup on the counter, then ran out before anyone could ask us how old the sample was. We hadn’t thought about the fact it might have been more embarrassing to jerk your husband off in public than in a private bathroom and have to admit that to a stranger. Now we wait for a call to tell us if his swimmers can swim.

Turns out they could, not only that, there we an abundance of them and apparently they were like Olympic swimmers at that. Of course my husband was proud as a peacock that day. Nothing makes a man happier that him knowing his swimmers are athletes. Ever his parents were proud, but that’s another story for a different day. So that my friends is how you can take an intimidating situation and make it into something out of sitcom. Life is hard. You will always have things thrown your way. It’s how you chose to handle them that will determine whether life is good or bad. Humor goes along way in both good times and bad. We now have an almost 4 year old daughter and so many laughs about how she came to be. Laugh my friends, and blessed be.