Life-Changing

I never really like the beach, the sand is hot on your feet and gets stuck between your toes there is nothing fun about it to me. I still feel humbled standing on the beach looking out to the vast ocean that lies in front of me. Seeing the sun just coming out of the water like a beautiful majestic being slowly coming out of the water to touch all that sees her. I feel as she slowly starts to touch my face a sense of serenity that I have been looking for, the reason that I came to the beach. It had nothing to do with the water and the heat. I needed a restart, a place that will help me recenter myself and focus on the next steps I will be taking in life. When I look down the beach I see a large great object right on the edge where the waves are lapping over it but it is not moving.

Being curious and the only person on the beach right now I start slowly walking toward the object. As I get closer I see that it is a fish or some sort of shark. It’s not big and scary like I would envision a shark to be. There will not be any blockbusters made about this little guy. I feel as if I can relate to him. He looks hurt like he is where I am at in life, just about ready to give up. I keep moving closer, noticing the fishing line that is stuck all over his body tying him up and keeping him from getting back in the much-needed water. I start to reach out for the shark hoping that I can help him and walk away with all my fingers still attached. I see the hooks on the line yet I still try to release the shark from its mess of fishing line. The hooks keep cutting into my hands but it is now a mission and more personal. Looking into the shark’s eyes I just know I need to get him free I will not stop till this little guy is free and back to being happy in the water.

I feel a hand on my shoulder as I look up to see a man in swimming trunks bending next to me to help in the mission of removing the lines and hooks. Yet unlike me he was prepared and had a knife that made the process go faster and with less harm to myself. As the man is finishing I start to just rub the shark’s face between his eyes looking at him. I say a prayer in my head that this guy will be alright, that he will make it back to his family and that he will have the freedom he deserves. I convey it to the shark by looking into his eyes. I feel tears start to descend down my face as I know I am saying the same for me, that the cuts are not too deep and the pain will subside, and that I will come out on the other side like this shark, strong and free. I look around to see if I can find more sharks like loved ones waiting for him or her. I don't know how shark families work but I don't want him to be alone out there in the big ocean without anyone to be there and love him. That’s where I am at in life. I feel so alone in a huge vast world and yet I can not get unstuck. The man again puts his hand on my shoulder as the shark takes off into the ocean disappearing from our sight.

The man takes my hands in his “Your bleeding” he says looking at my hands where the hooks have cut the skin leaving the blood to drip mixing with the water. I just keep looking out to the water looking for the shark. He swam away so fast. I start crying because everyone leaves me so fast. I know it was just a shark but the reality that subsided for a few mins just came rushing back. The man returns with some towels to start cleaning off the blood. I finally look up with tears still streaming down my face. He looks at me and turns white with fear about what issues he may have to deal with now that the shark is gone and some strange lady is here bleeding crying on the beach.

“That was brave of you to just help the shark. Your hands will heal, the cuts are not too deep,” he says with tenderness in his eyes.

After I thank him for his help I get to my feet to start to walk back to my car. This is not even a public beach I decided to stop on. I keep my eyes on the ocean where the shark went back in the water. I still pray that he will be ok that unlike me the scars of the past don't ruin his future. That the scars that he has acquired today don't hold him back from being happy, from being a part of the vast world he now has a second chance to enjoy. As I am about to slide back into my car the hot leather is burning my legs again. The man stops me from shutting the door. I fear that he just realized that I don't live here and this is a private beach.

“Maam I hate to be nosey but are you okay?” The concern in his eyes is too much for me to fight and the dam of emotions that I have been holding since finding out the news of my brother’s passing hits the back of my eyes like a battle ram.

I open up to this stranger how everyone that I have ever loved has left me and that the last person I had in this world is now gone. I cry and snot and wail as I go through the events of the day I got the news and how I felt. I have since been in the car driving to find a place that I will be at peace. He takes my hand and leads me towards a beautiful home with large palm trees hiding the door from plain view. I will not lie. I felt this may be my end and that he was taking me with the intention to do me harm. At this point, I didn't really care anymore if that was what would happen. Yet he did not take me in; he brought out a bottle of water and just sat across from me. He let me cry and work through some of my emotions.

“Do you think the shark will be ok and live his life happy and healthy?” I asked the man, I may have been asking about the shark but in some ways asking about myself.

“The shark will survive, he will have scars that will show others that he has been through some things, yet he was a fighter and made it through. He will be out there making a life that he is happy to live, and that is because a broken woman saved him.” The man says to me sweetly looking to make sure that I understand what he is trying to tell me.

That even with things being so bad and the cuts feeling like they will never heal they will soon turn into scars that show the hard times that it took to get where we are and the fight it is taking to get where we are going.

I finish my drink and get up to leave. The man asks if I would like to come in and cool off before getting back on the road.”That is very kind of you but I have taken up enough of your time this morning.”

As I go to leave the man grabs my hand “I have scars too and I would love to help you heal yours if you would let me” He says holding eye contact with every word. This is not something that I would do I watch too many murder shows but something in his eyes makes me feel like I need to go through the door. I nod and follow him in, he takes my hand and the warmth from him makes the ache in me start to release. As I walk into the home I feel something I have never felt before; hope. I feel hope for now and hope for the future.

Now the beach home is my home, I have found the love of my life and someone that makes sure I know he is always there. We have helped heal each other in different ways for different reasons. The shark has never been seen again but I feel he did his job. He brought me happiness as I helped him get through his own struggling point in life.