Let Love Be What You Make It

Valentine Day: A tender Meditation on Love in Its Every Form

Every February, Valentine Day returns with a fair dose of pinks and reds. The shops are crowded with roses, the shelves are stacked with boxes of chocolate and social media feeds start to become flooded with romantic odes. It is an event that a lot of individuals anticipate- a day of love and bonding. However, to some, it is a complex symbol of something missing, stress or desire.

No matter which end of the spectrum you might be on, there is one constant that stays the same and it is that love is a very human thing. And even commercial-minded Valentine day is a call to stop and take notice of it, not only romantic love, but love in all its varied forms.

This day has a history that is a combination of legend and cultural layering. It was named after a Roman priest called Saint Valentine who went against the decree of the emperor which had prohibited marriages and was later killed because of his silent resistance. With time, his tale was combined with more ancient festivals of fertility and of spring, and now we have what is known as Valentine's Day. The historical facts may have been blurred, yet the theme has remained the same: to choose love, even when it is not easy.

Nowadays, Valentine Day has a risk of turning into a show. It has pressure to go on the best date, give the appropriate gift, or share an immaculate moment on the Internet. But on a deeper level, what actually counts are those gestures that can not be bought with money- words that make a person feel understood, the heat of a small embrace, or the reassurance of just being there.
The good thing about this day is its flexibility. Others use it with someone special, surrounded by candlelight and talk. Others spend time having a meal with their friends or give each other small gifts. To others, it is an opportunity to pay respects to the family or have some silent time with a book, a bath or a solitary walk.

In recent years, self-love has also taken center stage during Valentine -Day and quite appropriately too. We live in a busy world where we tend to be our own worst critics, so a simple act of being nice to ourselves can be extremely empowering. It can be as simple as a word no to the things that exhaust you or as delicate as talking to yourself the way you talk to others with care.

Naturally, the holiday is not met by everyone. Others are opposed to the commercialism altogether. To others, it is agonizing or lonely. And that is alright as well. Nobody needs to be pressured to celebrate something that is not in their hearts. However, should you wish to celebrate the day, you can do it in your own special manner, at your own time.

Perhaps it is a letter to somebody you love. Perhaps it is a message to an old friend that you have lost contact with. Perhaps it is doing nothing whatsoever and being happy with that decision.

At its finest, Valentine Day is not about perfection. It is something to do with intent. It is stopping in the midst of our hectic lives, to say, “You are important.” And whether that message is pointing outward or inward it can make the world seem a little softer.

Then this year, celebrate the love that is real to you. Whether large or small, whether noisy or peaceful--count it.

But remember that there is no truth to this in Islam, nor does Islam promote such things. Islam has instead made marriage a norm.

💬 What does love mean to you right now? I'd love to hear your thoughts, your traditions, or even your Valentine’s Day rituals—feel free to share your story in the comments.