Leather bound

Ever since I can remember, every night before bed I would walk outside, whether it was cold and snowing, or a warm night with clear skies. Every night I would go outside, and look up at the sky, and silently I would wish for my big break as a musician. Every night, I would wish on every star, I would wish on the moon, and if I couldn’t see them I would say a silent prayer to God. You see, that was my biggest flaw. Desire.

When you want something so bad, you’ll do almost anything to get it. The world knows this about us, the world thrives on this. It’s part of our human nature, we are greedy, we want and we take. And sometimes that greed gets too out of hand. Be careful what you wish for, a saying always told, but never truly explained. I thought I knew better, I was wrong.

It all started with an envelope. I was just out of high school, barely even 19, at the time I was living in Woodburn, a small town in Indiana. Although town wasn’t really the appropriate word for it, mainly because it consisted of one main street and a disorganized spacing of homes and farms surrounding this one street. I was still living with my family, in a small three bedroom house, not nearly big enough for my parents and my two younger sisters.

My family was content with their lives. My dad worked at the tire factory in town, my mom ran a daycare. Both of my little sisters wanted to be teachers and eventually work at the school they were attending. My family was happy, they didn’t want anything else. But not me, I wanted more. Every weekend I would take my guitar and my song book and catch a ride from the neighbors into Fort Wayne, the second biggest city in Indiana, that was conveniently not too far from where I lived.

They always dropped me off right in front of the Art Museum downtown, and from there it wasn’t too far of a walk from this fountain with a horse sitting atop a pedestal, that sat right in front of the courthouse that looked very similar to The Capital, only smaller. I always went and put my torn, faded blue fedora on the ground next to this cement bench that was positioned on the left side of the fountain. I would then prop open my old black leather guitar case that was more duct tape than anything else. I would always put up a small sign in the case that read in purple marker, The One, The Only, ZELLA! Tips Welcome! Then I would start stinging on my guitar and sing popular songs, my favorite songs, and songs that fit my mood that day.

Now usually I would do this up until about lunch, then I would take some of the tips I made and go find something at the farmers market. After eating I would return and continue until 8 when I would take a bus back home. However, this saturday was different. It was right after lunch, and I was singing a song by Dolly Parton, when this man came up to me. He was tall, he had an olive complexion, black hair, and a scar on his lip. He wore a black suit, with a red undershirt and he wore a pair of black Ray Ban sunglasses. He sat and listened to me play for a few songs, before he took a big orange envelope out from his pocket and put it in my guitar case. He smiled at me, which for some reason gave me chills. Then he walked away.

Me being the curious person that I was, I immediately stopped and opened up the envelope. In it was a small black leather book, with an engravement on a serpent with wings around it. When I opened the book to the first page a small business card fell out. The card was white, and written on the front in beautiful black cursive were the words: Fill the pages, then call me at this number 202-555-1211 When I turned the card over there was the same serpent with wings logo, with the words Serpent Studios written underneath in green ink.

My eyes lit up and my heart began to flutter. This was it, this was my big break. From that moment forward I played around with cords on my guitar, I played tunes in my head, I downloaded music box apps. I spent weeks with this leather journal. I didn’t waste one second, and once I finally filled every single page with music ideas, song lyrics, costumes, choreography, everything I thought I needed I grabbed my cell phone and pulled that card out from the back of my book. I quickly typed the numbers on my phone, my thumb hesitating over the call button. My heart was racing, what if I wasn’t good enough? What if it was just a joke?

I took a deep breath, and hit call. The line rang three times before a man with a deep voice answered the phone.

“Serpent Studios, how may I help you?” the man said.

“Hi, my name is Zella and I received instructions to call this number once I filled out a journal, well I did so here I am” I said, sounding completely foolish.

“Ahh, yes Zella from Fort Wayne right? I remember you, you left quite an impression. You filled the journal, every page?” he asked.

“Yes, every page.” I say quickly, too quickly.

“Great, I’d like to arrange a meeting with you. I’ll be back in Fort Wayne tomorrow, would you mind meeting me at the Courthouse.”

“Absolutely, what time?” I askes, trying my hardest not to scream from excitement and joy.

“How does 5:30 in the morning sound? I have a standing appointment for the rest of the day” he said almost nervously.

“Sounds perfect, I will be there!” I said I was overjoyed, I knew I was going to have to get off the phone soon, otherwise this poor man would hear me shriek.

“Awesome, see you tomorrow” he said and then hung up the phone. I was so thrilled, I couldn’t stop smiling for the rest of the day. I made arrangements to borrow my mom’s car, and I spent three hours picking out the perfect outfit. The morning couldn’t have come fast enough, but eventually I was jumping out of bed to my alarm, and scrambling into my mother’s beat up red Monte Carlo.

Once I arrived I began to get nervous. I sat there for ten minutes before the same man I saw last time appeared as if out of thin air right in front of me. He wore the same outfit, but this time without the sunglasses. His eyes were a beautiful amber color that almost created the illusion of fire when the street lights hit it.

“Hi, I’m Zella,” I say, offering my hand, which he hesitantly accepts.

“Hi, I’m Luc. Zella I came here today to talk to you about possibly signing with my company as a recording artist” he says

“Well obviously I’m interested” I say a little out of breath trying to contain my joy. Luc smiles softly before continuing.

“Zella I can make all of your dreams come true. That book is only the beginning, anything you want, you can have” he says, and suddenly I lose my excitement. I didn’t know why, but the way he looked at me, the way he talked, it made the hair on my skin rise.

“That sounds amazing, but what’s the catch?” I ask. I’m not stupid, nothing in this world ever comes for free.

The man smiles and waves his hand and a big black leather book appears between us. The book has an engravement of a serpent with wings on it. “All you need to do is sign your name in your small little journal. Sign your name at the top, then when my promises are made to you I will have you sign your names in this one” he said as calm as can be.

My heart was pounding, my breathing was erratic. How did he? Where did that book come from? What is going on? So many questions were going through my mind. But above everything else I kept looking between him and that book. Everything I could ever want, right there at the tips of my fingers.

“And what were to happen if I refused?” I ask, taking a few steps away from Luc.

“I move on. Zella I only make this offer to people who I think can truly make it. I never break promises. You will get fame, fortune, and above all else you will get to make music as a career. I can make that happen. All you have to do is sign your name.” Luc says, pulling a pen out from his corner pocket, usually where a handkerchief would sit.

Now normally I don’t make rash decisions but I did. I should have seen the red flags, but I wanted this more than anything, and so I took the pen, pulled out my small journal and I put my name on the pages. I also made a promise to sign my name in the bigger book later on, when I got what I was promised.

Luc did not disappoint. Within mere weeks he had me fly out to L.A. to begin working at a recording studio. My parents were proud, but they didn’t trust Luc, and quite frankly I didn’t blame them. Within a year of making the deal I had sold over a million CD’s, I had two music videos, and I was up for a Grammy Award.

And then that's when I signed my name. After that Luc became more involved with my work. Everything had to be approved by him, he wanted me to do things a certain way. Say certain things, dress to reflect his image. I also quickly began to realize I could never escape him. I began to see his black leather books all over the place. His logo was in movies, on billboards, in stores. He was everywhere. I found out too late that I sold myself to the devil. I realized too late I was trapped.

I didn’t need Luc, he needed me. All I needed was the confidence to do something. He gave me that book, but I did the rest. Be careful what you wish for, sometimes what you want isn’t what’s best. My family was content, happy. I wanted more, but in the end, I received less. You see all of our names are on his list. All of our stories are made out. We are all bound by leather, but your name is yours. Never sign it away.