Last First Date

Olivia had never seen so many sharpies in her life. As she stared at the glass jars, holding every shape and size imaginable, she felt the cold press of the night air against the damp nape of her neck, the breeze passing through the front door which swung open and shut at an alarming rate as the restaurant filled with desperate singles. She knew that meant she should hurry up and pick a sharpie, sign Olivia under the Hi! My Name Is: adorned on the sticker below her. The hostess had ripped it off the roll and waved her on at least five minutes ago.

She picked up an orange, thinking maybe it would make her seem more welcoming, before thinking yellow would be a better choice to seem more friendly. But yellow would be harder to read, and so many people hated orange anyway. Red seemed too aggressive, even if it was the color of love, and blue too moody for a woman in her 30s.

“Alright everyone, we’ll begin the first round of dates in five minutes.” A balding man said from the stage which usually hosted live music during the restaurant's usual hours.

The restaurant would never have business as usual again after tonight. At the last minute she’d decided she didn’t want to go through it alone and had stopped by her favorite italian restaurant down the street from her apartment. Hilariously, the restaurant was hosting a speed dating event for the end of the world.

Olivia settled on pink, as it seemed like a tamer version of red. She popped the cap off with her right hand, her left grasping the pen and hovering over the glossy paper.

Liv or Olivia?

“You forget your own name?” Said a grinning redheaded man who was leaning over her to grab a sharpie from the same pile of pink pens. “Mine’s Clark if you need to borrow one.”

Her cheeks brightened up immediately and she let out a laugh in lieu of a response. His suave grin stuttered as she continued her non-response, and he quickly scribbled his name down and walked away.

She decided on Olivia after that, as she cursed herself with her full name in her head over and over. He’d been cute! What if she could have simply introduced herself and gone off on a normal date and had all the fun she could before the sun swallowed them whole?

As she continued ripping herself apart internally, she tore the sticker from it’s backing and smoothed it over the front of her cotton blouse. Her shirt was cute, with a pattern of daisies and her hair was done. She’s glad she’d wanted to go out in style.

Looking around, she searched for an empty seat, and found one near the back of the dining room. The restaurant was beautiful, having been built up right after the great depression, with chandeliers and glossy wooden floors.

She attempted to size her companion up, a sturdy man who didn’t look much older than her. His hair was going salt and pepper at the edges, but his eyes maintained a youthful glow.

“Hello, I’m Matt.” He said, extending a deeply tanned arm. She shook his hand, feeling the roughness of callouses.

“What do you do for work?” She asked, just as the bell rang signalling that their time had begun. He worked in construction, she found out, and he’d spent his entire life doing it since he was a teenager.

“Yes, and I’m wondering as we all probably are, did I make the right decision? Will I regret putting so much time into a job that gave nothing back?” He spent the rest of their five minutes pondering the potential mistakes of his life, only being steered away from his reverie as the bell rang.

“Oh-what was your name, by the way?” She didn’t even dignify it with a response.

“Hi.” Her new companion smiled at her, a sandy blonde with red lipstick.

“Hello.” Olivia said back. She didn’t know what the etiquette for a very quick first date was, but as the blonde’s smile widened, she noticed a smear of the pretty red lipstick on a pearly white tooth.

“You have a bit of lipstick on your…” She curled her upper lip back, pointing to her own teeth, tapping her right incisor to let her know exactly where. Almost immediately, the blonde’s eyes welled up, her lips pressing together in a thin line. She covered her mouth with her hand and headed off in the direction of the bathroom with only a small squeak of distress leaving her as she made her exit.

“Uh-” Olivia said, watching her leave.

“Everyone ready?” Called the host. The sweat quickly returned to Olivia’s brow as she glanced around the dim venue. A few suitors were sitting along the walls, twiddling their thumbs or quietly chatting amongst themselves. Her eyes quickly landed on the redhead from earlier-Clark. As they locked eyes, he raised an eyebrow quizzically. She waved at her empty chair, just as the host rang a bell, signally the start of the first round.

Clark took several measured steps over, easily wasting half of their first minute and Olivia was glad they’d already had half an introduction.

He was wearing a blue top, and looked extremely boyish with tousled bronze hair and clear blue eyes.

“Nice to make your re-acquaintance,” Clark smiled, glancing down at her nametag. “Olivia.”

“Liv.” She blurted, her eyes widening. “It’s what I was debating on. I really enjoy when people call me Liv, and they rarely do because I rarely get close with people and tonight was kind of the last night I might hear people say it.”

“Hmm.” He hummed in response. He glanced at the wine on their table. “That’s a bit expensive to be for free.”

“It’s the recommended wine here. My favorite merlot. Reasonably priced. They always have cases and cases but since they wont need to stock.” She shrugs to punctuate her sentence. Everybody had been talking about the end of the world, but it hung in the air during the last few hours. Everyone wore the knowledge of impending doom the way seniors in high school wore the graduation they’d worked their whole life towards-but now they had on caps and gowns and the stage looked a lot different right before they step onto it.

Everyone knew the sun would theoretically swallow the earth, they just didn’t know it would be their lifetime until a decade ago. But a decade was such an awful length of time. Just enough days to get used to the idea, used to it enough that you didn’t change anything about your life in that timespan that seemed so short but to stretch on forever. It’s how someone like Olivia, so young and full of life when the news had landed, had ended up thinking she was satisfied but on this final death day felt so alone. She’s always been so bad at making decisions.

“That makes sense.” Clark said, responding to her earlier comment about the wine. He was young.

“How old are you?” She asked.

“I’m twenty-three.” He responded, his tone balanced. He seemed like he knew she wouldn’t be who he ended up being with tonight, he’d made that decision at the pen table. But what about her decision?

“Exactly ten years my junior. What the hell are you doing here? I heard everyone your age was throwing, quite literally, the wildest parties the world will ever see.” She replied.

“Yeah...I don’t know. I was actually just walking to my job, I was supposed to close up the supermarket down the street. I’ve done that every single day, because I couldn’t find a job in my field. Archeology. A lot of that slowed down a few months back, as funding was redirected to STEM. I don’t know. I just kept doing the same thing. I was walking by and saw this. Thought there were worse things to do than find someone for the end. Whatever that means.” He said, and Olivia nodded.

“I was going to do the same thing. I come here for dinner a lot and then head home and watch a movie. I mean I guess I think about how alone I am sometimes, but it never occurred to me how hard it is to be scared by yourself. Or to admit that you don’t want to be scared alone. Was I just supposed to watch a movie I knew I’d never finish? Act like this once in a lifetime, life ending event wasn’t even important enough to do something to commemorate it? Or commemorate myself?” It felt weird to speak about it. Like everyone had thrown dirt on their own coffins years ago and some taboo had surrounded speaking on the terror of it all. Something in Clark’s eyes told her he agreed. The decade between them, he’d been a kid when this had been announced. It had been his whole life, knowing he’d never get to rent a car or get a PhD. She’d had those first few years to understand what it all ending would mean, but what did that mean for someone his age?

“Are you scared, Clark?”

“I’m terrified.”

“I don’t care if you regret your job. I don’t care if there’s lipstick on my teeth, or the color you chose for your pens nametag. I just know that this is my favorite wine, it’s a very nice night, and I have access to the roof of my apartment. I’d like to sit up there, being terrified and free. I don’t want to sit in this restaurant in my final hours hoping someone might take me home. I want to hope for a quick glance of the stars blowing out and the breeze in my hair. But I wouldn’t mind doing that, not alone.” Olivia was standing up, grabbing the bottle of merlot off the table, and the one next to it. She heard Clark get up behind her, swiping a bottle and grabbing her by the wrist as they ran past the other singles still at their tables. The bell rang for the next table as they pushed through the front doors.

“Where do you live, Liv?” Clark asked breathlessly, a grin splitting across his face. Olivia nodded at the apartment building at the corner.

“Very close.” They made it to the roof with exactly twenty minutes until d-day. They’d stopped at Olivia’s apartment for blankets and pillows. They laid out, staring straight up at the sky and drinking out the bottle.

The stars had grown slightly more muted, like the night was just an idea of itself as time had moved on. But they were still there and still real and they reflected in the blue of Clark’s eyes.

“Is there anything you want to know about me?” Olivia asked.

“No, Liv. Not unless there’s anything you want to tell me.” He said.

“I went to that supermarket all the time. I’d seen you before, but didn’t realize it until you mentioned.”

“I’d seen you before too. You’re very beautiful. Hard to forget, unlike me.” He said. She laughed, snorting and having to roll over so she didn’t choke on her own spit. He laughed with her, patting her back.

“Thank you.” She said, after her coughing had calmed. “I didn’t forget you because you aren’t beautiful, I’ve just spent my life so preoccupied I think. With decisions, with how I look and what I’m doing. How people will perceive me.”

“Do you regret that?’ He asked.

“At this moment, I don’t think I regret anything.” She turned to look at him, and they stared at each other for a moment. He reached out, his cold knuckles pressed against her wine-warmed cheek.

“Do you kiss on the first date, Liv?” Clark asked.

“Not always. But since this is also our last date, I think I’ll make an exception.”