Just One Was Enough

As a younger child; I'd grown up mostly alone. Isolated from the world in my dark and glass haven. Sealed away from the outside world, and locked away forever behind what most would call a "computer."

Yes; that computer was my world, and the world, in a way, was my computer. I made friends on it, played games on it, did school on it- I basically lived on this computer. For many years, I was taken, forced into this world where all I knew was 1s and 0s. I had nobody on the outside; and those I reached out to never took my hand, to offer me my first, real physical friendship.

Companionship, I craved it. My dream was to someday have somebody come to me; to want to study with me, or laugh and talk like any normal school-aged children would. However, for me, it was an eternity without that. Seeing little children walking by- or older children flocking together with their parents, and their backpacks. Jealousy would always flow through my veins; nonstop, like a parasite rapidly feeding at my mind and soul.

It was then I got the idea of 'escaping'. To find someone's hand and grasp it; for that one kind person to say "Do you want to hang out with me?" as we happily made off into the distance, walking together with our backpacks. I reached my hand out to so many people; and those I did shoved my hand away with cold feelings, and no remorse. They had their own friends; why would they break their circle with this small, naive kid, who didn't even know what a locker was?

I felt hopeless, for a long time. Nobody offered that sweet paradise to me; not even the most kind gesture of offering to be my 'friend.' Every attempt in making one, well...led to heartache, and disappointment. Those around me only kept me around out of boredom, I later found out. The only thing I was to them was an annoyance, and a way to kill time. This ached at my chest; hurt it painfully, as I convinced myself that to be liked, I needed to be 'cool.' Fake friends; I surrounded myself with them. Nobody would give me the kindness; not the offering of true friendship.

I wanted to go to school with someone, to study and share meals- to laugh and go over frequently, and to become their family. All I'd wanted was to be invited out somewhere, for someone to think of me, and want me around...but maybe that was a selfish thought.

Then, suddenly, years flew by. Sure, I now returned to my original state, the place where my childhood friend resided...but even there, I wasn't welcome as 'family.' I was treated as a scapegoat; a burden, if you will. True kindness, true family- it was not offered to me. So, I kept my head held high. One day, just maybe- just the final chance...to escape my digital prison, the one known as 'cyberschool,' and to finally be invited somewhere. To finally be wanted; something I craved with all my heart.

Eventually, I was to apply to highschool- clinging to my only friend, we applied to the same school. However, I rushed my portfolio for this school; and focused my time into helping their portfolio. My friend...didn't get in either.

I was left to my musings; alone, destitute. I'd given up hope for finding more friends in the future- to be asked to go somewhere with someone. It was me who'd always initiated things, and it would remain that way. That digital world surrounded me again, and for a split second, I felt as though I would never feel a good deed; never would life bless me even once.

If you would skip a year further in time, though, my mother had found me a school. Finally, she who had locked me away in this 'digital prison,' was giving me a ray of hope, shining through the ceiling, reflecting from the end of the tunnel. I applied; fearful history would repeat itself, afraid that the chance to socialize with real, physical people, would never come. To touch the building you're in; or to see people your age every day and have the chance to befriend them.

Yet, it came. Like a strong spring breeze; carrying petals and flora within it, my eyes had been opened. Freed, as the prison bars lifted. This chance had come- I'd been accepted. For the first time in my life, I would be able to do what others did. To ride a bus, or to even have a locker- for the first time, I had the chance to help others study. What would it be like? The possibilities were endless; the school was my oyster, and I was freed from my cage.

So, like that, I spent the year trying to befriend people; trying to be talkative, and learn how people did things in physical school. I got to use a locker, and bring ramen to classes. To make friends; to hear people laugh at what I said, or smile. Truly, to even have a teacher say my name, and physically show me how to do something- to be freed from the era of digital learning.

So, how might you ask, does this all add into a 'Good deed'?

Well, one faithful day, I was standing in a room I'd traveled upstairs to every day for a year; attendance, if you will. Those who I'd finally managed to befriend were talking, mentioning a trip to a local amusement park- and mentioning my name, my one friend turned to me.

"Do you want to go? I have an extra ticket!" She exclaimed to me; and I froze- for a moment, I almost felt tears welling in my eyes. You see- just one was enough. That singular act of kindness, to think of me, to even extend an invitation to me.

That was all it took for me to be so grateful; finally, i'd found true friends. Friends that would be trustworthy, and help me, and want my help in return. Those who would think of me, and even want to have me around! I'd never felt such a wave of kindness beforehand- never before that year had I been invited out by a singular person of my age, willing to talk to their parents, who would willingly say yes. Never had I truly been 'liked' in that way.

Just a singular question; and exclamation. That's all it took- and all it can take. To make someone happy, to do something like 'paying it forward,' or buying gifts. Yes, gifts can make us happy, and they can make us see that somebody cares- but when you're invited somewhere- that person thought of you specifically.

They remembered you; and that in itself, is kindness. To think of another, and offer your hand to them; one they may have never taken before. So if you ever have the opportunity to give someone an experience; or to even tell them you appreciate them, do it. Let loose; show the ones around you that you care about them, and that you think of them. Even if you do a good deed for them, or they do something kind to you. Even if a stranger on the street tells you that your blinkers are on.

A single word can change everything a person has known; and that is something to be grateful for.