joy is as contagious as a strangers yawn

The potential of impacting one another deeply is a beautiful truth of being human. Sometimes I feel we forget how connected we are to one another, like heart strings threading across distance and culture, we feel for one another. Like everyone in the world, this experience of COVID has me processing the whole spectrum of emotions, even ones for which I have no names! I’ve found, through much trial and error believe me, that every emotion can be nourishing if we follow it and allow it to be. For example, experiencing deep grief can lead to realizing how deeply we love. Personally, I’ve been continually moved by the ways communities are coming together, from musicians all over Europe serenading their neighbors from rooftops and balconies to mutual aid funds being set up across neighborhoods, we’re all trying. Inside the walls of my home, I reflect on joy and the internet's seemingly magical capacity to lead us to discovery. I want to share with you some gemstones I have found across corners of the internet. Gemstones that have led me to find that surfing with women all over the world, sensuality, and music are my heart's greatest joys.

In 2019, I came across this photo during a random google search that looked something like: ocean conservation, surfing, feminism. I lay in my roommates bed while enjoying her better taste in design and hiding from the frigid Minnesota winter. Something in me moved when I saw it. I wanted that. Wanted what? I didn’t know. I had never surfed let alone spent much time with the ocean while living in the land of 10,000 lakes. Being the internet archeologist I am, I dove deeper into investigation and learned the photo was from an organization called Groundswell Community Project whose mission is to dive deeper into self love, unite, and empower women through surf therapy. In that moment, I got that crazy look in my eye and decided: I will do that.

Through a series of life altering decisions I fled to Peru with Groundswell for their surf and service retreat where we collaborated with locals to bring surf therapy to women and girls in Huanchaco. Oh, and also, to learn to surf myself. It was perfect because I could truly understand the new surfsisiter experience since I was quite literally flopping around on my board alongside them. Everyday we got to throw ourselves into the ocean together, laughing, cheering, and supporting each other's efforts. I learned in that two weeks what I had seen in that photo. I saw sisterhood. I saw joy. I saw the potential of doing something that challenges you, in community, while making friends across cultures with the ocean and the joy of surfing to unite us all.

Another long lived force that unites us through joy, expression and feeling is music. Start this video at two minutes in and let the potent energy fill your room. Goosebumps form across my skin each time I listen to this Tiny Desk Concert with Ibeyi. This musical duo, formed by twin sisters Lisa-Kaindé Diaz and Naomi Diaz, evokes wisdoms that invite us into another way of perceiving our world. To introduce the second song, one of the sisters speaks to the audience, “This song is really special and dear to our hearts, because its made for you and for us, its called “Deathless” and it says that whatever happened, whatever happens, we are deathless, this moment is deathless, and we made it for you to feel for three minutes, and believe in it. So let’s do it!” It feels so alive and warm as they sing their hearts out while stealing glances towards one another. It reminds me of all the times in life when I’ve felt those goosebumps, oftentimes while packed in with crowds of people all moving, swaying, and dancing to the same music.

Music is energy. Energy that connects us to our sensuality and to feeling alive in our bodies. Similarly, the work of Ev’yan Whitney, a sexuality doula and educator, has really helped me nourish sensuality. Her mission reads “to breathe sensual light into you, to hold space for you as you reconnect to your body and to gently guide you towards healing that’ll shake the foundations of the lies you’ve been told about your pleasure and power.” I love this human and luckily found her social media account while beginning my own journey of sexual healing. Now, turning on slow music and dancing alone in my room is an important aspect of my sensual self care. How can we cultivate space for ourselves during this time, in our own unique ways, to dive into self pleasure and sensuality? Follow her work and you too may find yourself touching your own skin more softly or dancing under the cleansing water of the shower.

Whether it's the ocean or expression through music and sensuality, the joys that we feel are not ours alone. Honestly, joy is as contagious as a stranger's yawn. During this time, step into feeling it all. The more we allow ourselves to move through the muck the more beauty is born. Especially as we keep one another in mind and know that no matter what amount of social distancing, we are connected across those heart threads. Pull on them when you need a friend. Find solace in your favorite song. Hold your hearts as close as I am holding mine; I’m holding yours too.